Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Don't EVER Piss Me Off:

Whispers were swirling around I am past my prime. Haters gleefully gossiped I have lost my "OOMPH". Since that fateful day of being benched in favor of a young and skinny Twink, I vowed REVENGE.

In the last six weeks, I focused all of my energy on getting back into fighting shape. Blood, sweat, and tears properly channeled rage and bitterness.

I am now physically, mentally, and attitudinally prepared to gain victories. Yes, Kevin M, I realize that "attitudinally" may not be a word. BLOW ME.

I am TENNIS GAWD and I will not hesitate firing lightning bolts to dispose of you.


Monday, May 07, 2012


It has been 16 days since I last blogged. Between work, gym, tennis, and a new romantic interest, I have had my hands full. I am sorry if you dear blog readers had to settle with the insane asylum left in my absence. I take my role as the last bastion of normalcy in the blogworld very seriously.

Don't fret. I did make time to slap Cheese Curd around. He TOTALLY deserves it! God help him when I make a trip up to DC again. Let's just say that somebody is gonna be put in a headlock and be forced to admit they wear women's panties in front of everyone. I think that and sodomy is a fitting punishment for the constant barrage of sassiness don't you?

Anyway, life is speeding along swiftly. In just 39 days, the most depressing day of the year occurs. Ahem. This is when I... COUGH... turn 42 freaking years old! WTH?! How am I suddenly turning 42?! Where have all the years gone? I haven't even matured yet!  It's... not... fair. So, I am continuing the tradition of not celebrating my birthday. It's a day to mourn not rejoice... unless you hate me.

In other news, working out with a personal trainer for the last four weeks has paid great dividends. Pace and stealth-like accuracy has returned. With the state championship tournament coming up next weekend, it could not have come at a better time. The trick now is to get enough rest to ensure the freshest legs possible. I'll have to cutdown exercising just prior, which will be hard because adrenaline intoxicates me.

About that romantic interest... he's a few years younger and cubbish. It is long distance, so we only get to see each other every few weeks. We get along well. He is very much a "Yes, man", which is probably why we get along so well. In the past, I have been known to chase after uncontrollable bad boys. The challenge of trying to tame them probably excited me on some level. Nowadays, I much rather be with someone who is not difficult or fussy. Finding someone I can adore and who actively roots for me is quite refreshing!