Tuesday, March 27, 2012


Madonna is the cool mom we wish all we had. We've grown up together through good and bad times since 1984. We can talk about anything together, because we are like the very best of friends. :)

I have not been as giddy about an album since Britney Spears Femme Fatale. Both MDNA and Femme Fatale are fun albums that put me in a great mood. The tracks: "Girl Gone Wild", "Gang Bang", "Superstar" (sung with daughter Lola), and "I Don't Give A" (with Nicki Minaj) are truly outstanding.

As a blogger that often writes about personal goings-on, I appreciate that Madonna shares her deep most intimate feelings on "Love Spent", "Falling Free", "I Fucked Up", and "Best Friend". It's like we sat down for a nice fireside chat with our cool Mom -- who freely shares what went wrong in her last marriage.

I highly recommend buying MDNA. It's a brilliant piece of work! As Nicki Minaj taunts GAGA on this album, "There is only one Queen... and that's Madonna... BIIIIIITCH!"

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Hunger Games:

While the lucky masses gorge on the feast of marriage, some of us are left fending for ourselves in the sanitarium of singlehood. We pick through the trash for sustenance -- keeping hope alive that someone else's garbage will be our bounty.

We single people are the discarded ones. Like Hester Prynne, we wear our shame when we're out and about. How did we get here? Is it because others have deemed us crazy? Too damned controlling? Fussy? Trollish? Or in my case, full of personality but short in stature?

Yesterday, I had an interesting telephone conversation with a dear friend. Yes, an actual old timey telephone conversation! Not everyone has become socially retarded and rendered a MUTE from technology. There IS hope for humanity!

My dear friend and I talked about my AMAZING ability to attract substance abusers. Ahem. I know what you are thinking -- I DO NOT drive others to binge on alcohol or drugs. It's always present before I come into the picture. I swear!

Anyway, my friend warned me to not make the same mistakes he did or I'll be single for the rest of my life. I was scandalously informed that I am not perfect, too damned judgmental, and must look past flaws in others. "If you really like someone, who cares if he likes to drink and get drunk?"

I chewed on his advice. Am I preachy and judgmental? Is it wrong to want someone who was raised right with a good sense of values? Why do I really care if someone drinks too much or occasionally does drugs? Then it came to me... Ohhh....

I CARE because it does not fit into my lifestyle. If I am getting a partner, he will be an extension of me. Spending hours upon hours drinking in a bar is NOT healthy. Besides, passing out as soon as you get home means no time for lovemaking or any good lovemaking. Any breakfast, tennis, or gym plans we make invariably fall by the wayside because you are hungover or in a K-Hole.

I am then left frustrated with a loser boyfriend. Makes me wanna go Mommie Dearest on them. EEEK! Why can't you give me the respect I am entitled to?! (hands ready to choke if they dare say it!)

In the meantime, I get through each day looking at Jimbo's Scruff profile. The fact that Jimbo is waaaaay batshit crazier than me somehow brightens the day. It must be like people who read this blog. You feel "normal" and thank your lucky stars after reading this, right? ;)

Friday, March 09, 2012

The Awakening:

If I were to be honest, I'd readily admit that I have often settled for less in others. The reasons are varied: childhood shyness, growing up in a society where I am pelted daily with reminders I am not equal, or parental units that still to this day treat me differently than other siblings.

It has fucked me up in the head. If family and society always treat me as an anomaly, then I deserve to be mentally abused by others on a daily basis. I settle for bad relationships and friendships, because deep down inside I feel I do not deserve better.

Even in my darkest days, when I just need a hug or a friend to care, I'll get a smattering of hate across the blogosphere or splashed across Facebook.
Welcome to my world.
Is it wrong to dream people who say they're your friends actually do give a damn about you? Where people greet you with respect, kindness, and good social graces?

Or am I condemned to be institutionalized with a bunch of loonies who are hell-bent on always tearing me down?
And it starts with me.