While the lucky masses gorge on the feast of marriage, some of us are left fending for ourselves in the sanitarium of singlehood. We pick through the trash for sustenance -- keeping hope alive that someone else's garbage will be our bounty.
We single people are the discarded ones. Like Hester Prynne, we wear our shame when we're out and about. How did we get here? Is it because others have deemed us crazy? Too damned controlling? Fussy? Trollish? Or in my case, full of personality but short in stature?
Yesterday, I had an interesting telephone conversation with a dear friend. Yes, an actual old timey telephone conversation! Not everyone
has become socially retarded and rendered a MUTE
from technology. There IS hope for humanity!
My dear friend and I talked about my AMAZING ability to attract substance abusers. Ahem. I know what you are thinking -- I DO NOT drive others to binge on alcohol or drugs. It's always present before I come into the picture. I swear!
Anyway, my friend warned me to not make the same mistakes he did or I'll be single for the rest of my life. I was scandalously informed that I am not perfect, too damned judgmental, and must look past flaws in others. "If you really like someone, who cares if he likes to drink and get drunk?"
I chewed on his advice. Am I preachy and judgmental? Is it wrong to want someone who was raised right with a good sense of values? Why do I really care if someone drinks too much or occasionally does drugs? Then it came to me... Ohhh....
I CARE because it does not fit into my lifestyle. If I am getting a partner, he will be an extension of me. Spending hours upon hours drinking in a bar is NOT healthy. Besides, passing out as soon as you get home means no time for lovemaking or any good
lovemaking. Any breakfast, tennis, or gym plans we make invariably fall by the wayside because you are hungover or in a K-Hole.
I am then left frustrated with a loser boyfriend. Makes me wanna go Mommie Dearest on them. EEEK! Why can't you give me the respect I am entitled to?! (hands ready to choke if they dare say it!)
In the meantime, I get through each day looking at Jimbo's Scruff profile. The fact that Jimbo
is waaaaay batshit crazier than me somehow brightens the day. It must be like people who read this blog. You feel "normal" and thank your lucky stars after reading this, right? ;)