"F" is for Friendships:
Jerry (seen pictured here with me) will be my doubles partner for Fort Lauderdale. We were last doubles partners in New Orleans in 2011. Jerry and I will be sharing a room (Feb 16-20th) with a woofy tennis player named Scott. The three of us should have loads of fun in Fort Lauderdale, where the locals are graced with Southern charm and enthusiastically greet visitors.
But that's not all! Two weeks later (March 1-4), I will be staying with Crail and Joey for the Heart of Texas Classic tournament. They will be hosting me in their new home, which I am excited to see. Crail and Joey are the perfect couple because they are easy on the eyes, always fun, and have a likeability rating off the charts! My challenge here will be to balance my business-like approach to playing in a tournament AND taking time to enjoy Crail and Joey's cheerful company.
(What would a blog post be without a rant?)
These are people who are clearly different than my autistic friends. Whom am I referring to as "autistic"? You know... douche friends that won't return phone calls, but never miss a chance to be comment trolls on my Facebook page. Or birthday moochers who are never around for anyone's birthday, but sure exploit their special day for free meals and drinks sometimes ridiculously stretching two weeks. Or entitlement queens who constantly ask for favors like: taking them to airport, meeting them out at a bar, giving them football tickets, loaning them money, keeping their dog, etc. but NEVER reciprocate. ARGH!!! Can someone please explain why I seem to have such a large number of friends suffering from some form of autism? Yay... me... :(
If I were President, I would make it mandatory for every student to pass a social etiquette and good graces class. A long time ago, being raised by a good family was sufficient. But sadly... modern times have encouraged social retardation, rudeness and surly behavior.
I am going to start mailing free books on social etiquette and good graces to my autistic friends. If you receive one of the following books, then know that I am doing my part to exert mild social pressure to fix you. Hopefully, you'll be encouraged to start acting right so I can stand being around you. NOT the other way around. Ahem.