Monday, September 10, 2012

The Life of Chuck:

When Jimbo announced he was leaving Washington DC after 16 years, it touched me on a profound level. The two things I associated most with DC was "Durban Bud" and "Jimbo".
Strange as it may seem, Jimbo is my trash reality internet star. He was my "Snooki", the depraved version that wanted to "Smoosh Smoosh" on South Park. How can Jimbo leave DC?! It felt like a sucker punch. How can you just pick up and leave?! How can you do this to me?! You... are my can of tomato soup... never opened but comfortably always there.
With the high level of social retardation in our Internet society, I fretted that Jimbo would not get a proper sendoff. I worked the back channels pushing for mutual buds to do something special for him. Thankfully, a "Farewell to Jimbo" event was established. For sentimental reasons, I felt compelled to travel to attend the event.

It had been four years since I was last in DC.  I didn't make any plans to tour the city.... it was strictly a social outing. On Friday, I got to see Bear Happy Hour (BHH) with a former blogger named Chad at Town. The men in DC, unlike in New Orleans, take pristine care of their bodies. They should call it "Muscle Bear Happy Hour" for most of the guys could do porn with their protruding pecs, slim waists, fur, tats, and meaty arms. No wonder Jimbo is throwing in the towel and leaving town!

On Saturday, I got to meet TJ and Rob's famous Internet cat, Chuck, who was adorable, charming, and completely delightful in every possible way. He instantly warmed up to me. Chuck has a happy life with TJ and Rob, who dote on him continuously.

We three humans worked out at Vida Fitness, took a break, then met Jimbo out for dinner at Shaw's Tavern. Don't let the name fool you, Shaw's Tavern is not some bar that also serves food. It serves food prepared in innovative ways ($$$) and only offbrand beer.

This was our only time to spend an intimate hour with Jimbo. It went typically how you'd expect. TJ throwing zingers in the form of questions to both Jimbo and I. Jimbo getting mad anytime the focus was not on him. (picture Jan Brady whining... "Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!") Me fussing at Jimbo's hypocrisy for reading and replying to text messages at dinner. Rob looking helplessly on as three deranged individuals communicate with each other in a new level of social retardation. Gawd. We really should have our own reality show!

Later, we all took a tour of Jimbo's nice former dwelling. You may think of living in Shaw as a daily battle of dodging bullets, drug dealers, and prostitutes, but I thought it was actually nice! It seemed tranquil and a decent place to live.

Jimbo's Farewell Party was well attended. I got to meet many people who I have seen comment on Jimbo's blog or Facebook Wall. It was nice to say "HI" and show that I am not the attention whoring mega cunt Jimbo sometimes lets me portray myself as when he picks fights.

On the very last day, I had a wonderful breakfast with TJ and Rob in Dupont Circle and went to the Farmer's Market. Their relationship is to be admired and serves as a good model for those looking to settle down.  It certainly impressed me and gave me a good view of what a future relationship should be like. :)


Anonymous ButterBear said...

You've summed up Jimbo so well. It really is a shame you two couldn't make a real go of it.

September 10, 2012  
Anonymous durban bud said...

You're always sweet after I see you in person. Thank you. BUT WILL IT LAST!? Hmmmmmmm...


September 11, 2012  
Blogger SEAN said...

Not to long ago you gave CB some tips on how to groom his beard. How about a video of you instructing those of us who could benefit from your great knowledge and experience? It would also be a great excuse for you to be shirtless and wet.

September 13, 2012  
Blogger cb said...

Sounds like a good time was had by all-- including Chuck!

But then, Chuck probably liked the smell of another pussy in the house.

September 16, 2012  

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