Thursday, September 27, 2012

Peanut M&M's:

I have come to find meaning in random and obscure events that happen around us everyday. I am convinced that if ONLY we took time to listen to the Universe, our lives would vastly be improved.

Take today, for example. Even though I WOLFED down delicious pork and sausage jambalaya and potato salad for lunch, my gut was still yearning for something more. OMG. I haven't had my favorite guilty pleasure yet (Peanut M&M's).

Chocolate is vital to feeling happy! Mmmhmm. I WANTED those Peanut M&M's. I took out a crisp dollar bill and headed to the nearest company vending machine. There it was! My favorite snack in the whole wide world... Peanut M&M's. DROOL.

I knew the next part by heart. Insert dollar, press C1, and then voilĂ ! Ruh-Roh?! My dollar has been rejected?? Insert Dollar, press C1. ARGH! Insert Dollar, press C1. Noooo! Insert Dollar, press C1. RAGE. Insert Dollar, press C1. I hung my head down in shame. The Universe does not want me to have Peanut M&M's. I'm apparently... an undeserving gluttonous PIG judged so by the Universe.

My spirit was broken... a shell of the happy-go-lucky guy everyone loves. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I sneakily changed the dollar to four quarters in our petty cash box. Clink, Clink, Clink, Clink. Our vending machine accepted all four quarters!

I ferociously gobbled up the Peanut M&M's. I DID feel shame as I conveniently left out the last part when I chronicled my harried vending machine experience on Facebook. Shhh... the Universe won't know I left out a critical piece of information! Or will it? Oh gawd... please... don't punish me.. nooooo.... nooooo!

10 Comments:

Blogger mikeinbama said...

Oh Brett, the universe will not punish you unless you submit to not making your picks on the upcoming weekend games.

September 27, 2012  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

My football picks are made. My dominion over you will continue

September 27, 2012  
Blogger Erik Rubright said...

Chocolate. Yuck. Nasty.

September 27, 2012  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Brett, we've had this talk before. You must use AMERICAN dollar bills in the machines!


(P.S. Guess who called and DEMANDED I pay to have their teeth fixed? Ya, it grossed me out too.)

September 28, 2012  
Blogger Jason said...

I love it, someone else just like me that thinks the world looks better over a bag of M&M's or chocolate. Be free with your choccie desires, life is for living and eating as much chocolate as possible.

September 28, 2012  
Blogger Blobby said...

Erik - M&Ms aren't chocolate, it is mostly paraffin, much like Brett's personality.

September 29, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's VOILA! not VIOLA. ;-)

September 30, 2012  
Blogger cb said...

Perhaps it was god's way of saying "slow down, porky."

September 30, 2012  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Q: Why does Brett hate regular M&Ms?

A: They're too hard to peel.

==========================================
Q: Whats the difference between the LSU Tigers and cheerios?

A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!

October 01, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blah blah blah. Halloween is coming. Is the Austin guy coming to New Orleans for that?

October 03, 2012  

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