REVENGE THY HONOR:
I could take the easy way out and join a gay softball league. The thought of being emasculated into doing queer cheers with a bunch of gay men, who revel in making up the sissiest cheers for the sake of... well... being sissy... makes me spit. Never will I play gay softball -- which is a bastardization and mockery of real sports if you ask me.
As a manly tennis player, I am required to exert excellent forward, backward, and lateral agility in mere seconds. Core muscles must work together to deliver blistering pace and unrivaled force against foes. Split-second tactical decision making... strong eye and hand coordination requires Sith-like brain power. Few can meet the challenge.
In the last three weeks, I have focused on correcting my slide into mediocrity. The bounce back has been incredible as I have taken down the #1 and #2 teams in my local men's league on Thursday nights. RAWR!
With a tournament this weekend and the state of Louisiana championship coming up next month, the timing could not be better.