Thursday, April 19, 2012

REVENGE THY HONOR:

I could take the easy way out and join a gay softball league. The thought of being emasculated into doing queer cheers with a bunch of gay men, who revel in making up the sissiest cheers for the sake of... well... being sissy... makes me spit. Never will I play gay softball -- which is a bastardization and mockery of real sports if you ask me.

As a manly tennis player, I am required to exert excellent forward, backward, and lateral agility in mere seconds. Core muscles must work together to deliver blistering pace and unrivaled force against foes. Split-second tactical decision making... strong eye and hand coordination requires Sith-like brain power. Few can meet the challenge. 

In the last three weeks,  I have focused on correcting my slide into mediocrity. The bounce back has been incredible as I have taken down  the #1 and #2 teams in my local men's league on Thursday nights. RAWR!

With a tournament this weekend and the state of Louisiana championship coming up next month, the timing could not be better.

FEAR ME

10 Comments:

Blogger Nurse P said...

Just when you have me in your corner and rooting for you, you post something crazy like this. I borderline on loving your blog and hating it...all at the same time. Brett-- why can't you not be a asshole sometimes?

I guess the thing that pisses me off is this weird "I am gay but I don't to act gay" attitude you have. Gay is gay, baby. I hate to break it to you. Whether you are on Rupauls Drag Race painted to death or you are busting your ass on a tennis court --- if you like to have sex with men and you are a man -- you are gay. Spell it with me. G ---- A ----- Y. Sound it out --- GUUUU --- AAAAHHH --- YAHHH... Say it out loud. GAY!

Brett, you are gay. And tennis whiz or not, you like to have sex with men. Don't be hating on your counterparts that are less manly. Respect the gay, baby...don't hate on it!

And congrats on doing better in tennis. But, you probably do need to join the gay softball league. Maybe one of those "sissies" will kick your ass....or maybe even fuck it.... and you won't feel so superior!

April 19, 2012  
Blogger August said...

Thank God you're not talking lesbian softball players, because they'd have you down on your knees begging for mercy!

April 19, 2012  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

The thought of a gay or lesbian softball player kicking my ass makes me giggle.

April 19, 2012  
Blogger August said...

Yeah, me too.

I love the first sentence of your posting, by the way. It'd be a great opening line for a short story.

I'm just glad you didn't go after Jimbo and his little rugby playing sisters...

April 19, 2012  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

Oh, don't even get me started about THAT sport where men lock arms and prance around a little ball. Then celebrate by drinking beer out of a boot or shoe. GROSS.

April 19, 2012  
Blogger August said...

You know I'm all behind you and this and all, but don't the winners of major tennis tournaments get really super gay dinnerware? Really elaborate plates and cups and stuff?

(And may I add, I'm loving the stupid ass words I'm being made to type into the comment moderation thing just to post.)

April 19, 2012  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

It keeps the Comment Trolls away... the ones who go around saying I wear mascara and false eyelashes. Groooowl!

April 19, 2012  
Blogger August said...

Funny you should mention "mascara" as it was one of the words...

most of the time I feel like I'm conjugating odd Latin words for diseases--like this one "conomis dearthre".

April 19, 2012  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

Conomis Dearthre is a Sith word for "Cometh Dearest".

April 19, 2012  
Blogger ryan charisma said...

manly & tennis in the same sentence?

oh that is rich!

thanks for the early am laugh.

April 20, 2012  

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