Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Live by the Sword, Die by the Sword:

I have the utmost respect for my Sith Lord Team Captain, who covets VICTORY AT ALL COST. Through his leadership and cunning strategy, every team in our path has been taken down. Currently, our team is undefeated and leading the 10 team Baton Rouge division with two matches to go. We are on the cusp of playing for a second straight state championship 
Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me. 
As a Sith tennis player on a Sith team, I am NOT on solid ground. My value to the team has diminished as individual losses have racked up. I can make all the excuses in the world that my losses came to players with bizarre styles of play, but in a Sith world... ALL LOSSES ARE UNACCEPTABLE. The pressure is on.

Our Sith Lord Team Captain just cunningly introduced two NEW players to our team (one considerably younger than myself). He forced us to compete for 3 solid hours in a brutal deathmatch practice on the hottest day of the year at the hottest time of the day. He watched us do battle and made private notes on a clipboard. Although it was not said, the message was quite clear: If you are unable to compete, you will be yanked from future lineups!

Last night, I clutched my weenie dog Pierre for comfort, as I seethed with bitterness. Why was I seething? Against our undefeated rivals, an indian club, I was NOT in the lineup. I had been benched in favor of a younger, more talented, and less squishy player. Grooooowl.

Congratulatory emails began pouring in from the team with good news that we had disposed of our main rivals 4-1... with much praise given to the younger player that took my spot. Hisssssssss. The daunting reality hit me square in the face. I have been replaced by a younger and better Sith tennis player.



Blogger Nurse P said...

This kind of stuff reminds me of high school. When you really wanted to make the football/basketball/baseball team, and you weren't selected. Or worst yet when teams were chosen in gym class, and you were one of if not the last one picked. It's hard on the spirit, especially when you know you deserve that chance.

This may be the first "tennis" themed blog I have posted on. I think I picked this one because it sounds like someone is finally having to eat some humble pie. Wasn't it you who said you couldn't have a boyfriend who was "squishy"? And, yet, you feel like you weren't chosen because the other guy was younger and less "squishy". gotta be careful of that stuff, Brett. There is always someone out there hotter than you, more muscular than you, with a bigger dick than you. Don't get caught up in squishy versus non squishy. Let yourself accept you...and also accept others. Trust me....when I started being ok with dates just got hotter. You will be surprised what a little bit of loving yourself will do. You attract a whole new caliber of man!

April 04, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't there some geriatric league you can join instead? Preferably one with a team for the vertically challenged. Of course, your fragile ego would be destroyed when you lost to a grandpa, so maybe that's not a good idea, after all.

April 04, 2012  
Blogger Jim said...

This time, for sure, you're pursing your lips! Really???

April 04, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well. Karma IS a bitch after all.

April 05, 2012  
Anonymous jimbo said...

Yep he's pursing his lips. He can't help it: pursurpes simplex XVII.

April 05, 2012  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Just when you thought there'd be nuttin' to watch on TV after MY BIG REDNECK VACATION ended, you're all in luck with DUCK DYNASTY starting. Yea!

Who'd ever believe that Shreveport would be the next Hollywood? Must mean Baton Rouge might be the next West Hollywood.

April 06, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:) at least it was an enjoyable experience, not that bad...

April 06, 2012  
Blogger cb said...

Welcome to your 40's....

April 07, 2012  

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