Things that make MEN squirm:
After choking and coughing on an imaginary item lodged in my throat, I startled the inquisitive soul with a long pause. My face flushed three shades of crimson. I felt difficulty breathing. Clearly, I would have won BEST DRAMATIC ACT OF BEING CHOKED TO DEATH BY DARTH VADER.
My response was the most convoluted and obtuse ten minutes of psychobabble I had ever given. After listening to the painful attempt, the puzzled guy replied -- "I have absolutely NO IDEA what you just said. Answer the question. Are you open to dating? YES or NO?" (GULP!)
Why am I having difficulty with this question? I suppose it is because neither him nor I have ever talked about our feelings. We are presently enjoying each other's company with no strings attached. Perfectly "OK" short term, but not practical the longer we see each other.
I could easily fall for this guy, but it scares me. I have had so many disappointments. What will happen to my meticulously constructed lifestyle that has protected me from ever having to feel hurt, jealousy, or a broken heart? While it has suited me well, it offers me no such protection if I hurl myself off a cliff yelling, "I DO!"
I shiver in fear treading on the precipice of being human...It's a skeery world. Am I brave enough? Can I throw caution to the wind to love and be loved again? Pondering such things leaves me perplexed. I go "UGH!" and frantically search for anything else to occupy my thoughts.
Life is easier as a Sith. Human? Not so much.