The BIG announcement:

NOTE: THIS IS A POST DONE IN JEST.

You may have heard the rumor on the interwebs. IT'S TRUE! Jimbo and I have decided to stop being Mean Girls to one another and get engaged. Unlike classy Bette Davis in All About Eve, Cuntzilla (Bridezilla?) CAN be had for the price of a cocktail, like a salty peanut.

This should not come as a shock to anyone in the blogger community. Sexual tension fueled by biting quips and hair pulling has always been present. On more than one occasion, our exasperated fan bases begged -- "Would you two fuck and get it over with?!"

I guess deep down inside, I admire those who throw punches. They tend to garner my respect.

How Jimbo and I make love:
I diss the Glee character of Kurt Hummel. Jimbo tells me that I am even sissier playing the fag sport of tennis. He leaves me no choice but to put down Rugby players and the woeful Maryland Twerps football team.

Verbal blows soon turn into headlocks... "Admit you wear women's panties!" "Fuck you! I'll show you who wears panties!" We go back and forth physically wrestling for domination and subjugation of the other until it invariably turns into a spit infused HOT make out session.

I cannot fathom anything more romantic! :) Can you? Suddenly, I have STRONG Celine Dion musical urges:

Even though there may be times
It seems I'm far away
Never wonder where I am
Cause I am always by your side

Cause you're my lady
And I am your man
Whenever you grope for me
I'll do all that I can

We're heading for something
Somewhere I've never been
Sometimes I am frightened
But I'm ready to learn
Of the power of love

For those who need to know, Jimbo and I are registered at Walmart. NOTHING IS TOO FANCY FOR OUR TRAILER! Diapers and baby formula would greatly be appreciated as there are a buttload of babies on the way.