Tuesday, November 15, 2011

If I could give an award to one of my favorite bloggers, it would be JIMBO! His raging bitterness about anything and everyone provides me with constant entertainment.

Psst... my Ego wants to do sadistic things to him. If I had magical powers, I would instantly teleport fellow bloggers (even Karl... UGH!) to a locked room.

We'd sport hipster glasses and mischievously chat with one other ONLY with our iPhones. Hell, we'd invite drunk Jennifers to come over and party with us. If they were part of a bachelorette party with penis Mardi Gras beads... all the better! The fantastic night will end in a frenzy of sassy and smooth twinks gyrating their size 28 skinny jeans all over a bound and gagged Jimbo. HEAVEN! :)

It would almost be as fun as putting a shirtless Durban Bud in the center of a crowded dance floor without any technology... or Purell. The more he tried to exit the steamy dance orgy, the deeper the crowd swallows him up. Sweaty shirtless bears rubbing their stanky armpits all over. Is it so wrong to wish this upon TJ? (Note: those who know TJ personally would find this scenario completely hilarz!) SMIRK.

Anyway, congratulations Jimbo!!! Your relentless and seething bitchery has won you the coveted Bloody Tampon Award. RAGE ON Cuntzilla... RAGE ON...

(Mental Note: So glad I don't have any quirks!)


Anonymous jimbo said...

I told you to make the bloody tampon in the graphic as big as a buoy - like a huge cruise ship buoy! As always, I'm disappointed.

November 15, 2011  
Blogger Blobby said...

Wait!!!! Jimbo is the blogger who has raging bitterness about anything and everyone?

Um...does that make you pot or kettle?

November 15, 2011  
Anonymous Bitterbear said...

I look forward to your nuptials. With Jimbo's seething bitterness pouring from every orifice and your attraction to cavernous holes, it will be a monogamous match made in heaven.

November 17, 2011  
Anonymous rusty, out on the factory floor said...

Looks like you've got the tampon turned the right way round this time.

November 23, 2011  
Anonymous durban bud said...

Do your weiner dogs sit on the bed and watch you as you take posed shirtless photos of yourself in your bedroom?

November 26, 2011  

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