Wednesday, July 27, 2011

W R E C K:

Some goofy ass cat blogger informed me recently that the only reason people follow my blog is because I am a train wreck and people love train wrecks. Mmmkay. At 41 years old, I don't give a flying sheeeet what anyone thinks of me. I am entitled to be an angry and grumpy little man well into my twilight years!

But the comment did gnaw at me. I got pissy every time I thought about it. Why I outta go up there and impale the sonofabitch with my light saber! While I am at it, I should take down Sith Cuntzilla too. Aren't we all sick and tired of hearing about her swamp ass? One thrust up the patootie, and it'll be good and cauterized. The endless bitching will surely stop.

Fortunately for those two, I properly channel my anger on the tennis courts. Every time I play, I imagine the haunting words taunt me: "train wreck... train wreck... you are a train wreck... you are Lindsay Lohan... train wreck".

This mind trick has served me well. In the Mixed 7.0 League, Lisa and I are one win away from completing a perfect season. No one has taken a match or set from us in nine tries. We are court villains compelling others to sit and watch our games in bleachers hoping we lose so their wanna-be team has a chance to win it all. They are denied each week. Muahaha! :)

In Mobile, Alabama this weekend, I will be playing in the USTA Southern Sectional Tournament where I will face the #1 team from each Southern state. I am pegged to play both singles AND doubles after impressing the Team Captain last weekend where I took down the top players on our team.

I owe all my recent tennis court success to TJ... the MEAN GIRL who gave me the motivation to slaughter the competition. This train wreck is whooping ass! Thank you, bitch cunt from hell!


Anonymous Brian D said...

I love that picture. Funny, my former partner's name is T.J. Your picture reminds me of his hole that I played with in the past. LOL

July 28, 2011  
Anonymous Prickly Martin said...

I L O V E trainwrecks!!! SILVER STREAK, MONEY TRAIN, UNDER SEIGE 2, RUNAWAY TRAIN, THE FUGITIVE, SUPER 8, UNSTOPPABLE, SPEED 2....oh wait, that was a boat. Anyway.... If you were to change and become 'thoughtful and considerate of others views' I would SOOOOOO tune out and be forced to read Perez Hilton for drama.

Keep it surreal, Brett Cajun!!!

July 28, 2011  
Anonymous mike 0 said...

You can do it!

July 29, 2011  
Blogger Raybeard said...

This one follows you because you're honest, entertaining, always interesting and you show an attractive and admirable vulnerability. I agree with P.M. above - don't stop being yourself! Oh yes, and you're both cute and hot too!

July 29, 2011  
Blogger RG said...

But'ja aaahr Blanche, ja aahr a train wreck. Who the hell wants normal? Jeesh - we thought you understood that's why we come here, and for the lucky ones "cum" here. ;)

July 29, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I disagree. People follow you because you are one hot piece of ass!

July 31, 2011  
Anonymous Koji Kojikowa said...

You have that right, Anonymous....until he starts to 'talk'. ....just sayin....

July 31, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I for one would LOVE to f***k Brett as a one night stand after a few beers; however, it is the emotional rollercoaster ride he would take my psyche on in a relationship lasting more than one night that would forever prevent our paths from even crossing in said bar regardless of the amount of beer consumed. Sometimes it is safer to view from a distance.

August 01, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, fuck his hot ass, and have someone shove a cock in his mouth.

That way, he can't talk......

August 03, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Train wreck? No way!
Your a total package.

August 08, 2011  
Anonymous BosGuy said...

1) I love trainwrecks
2) That's not the reason I read your blog.
3) You're leaving me hanging with your post about the hunky guy you were with during Southern Decadence and its KILLING ME.

September 22, 2011  

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