Have you ever got your ass chewed out publicly? I have. Just yesterday. I was having a good 'ole time at the Bourbon Pub. I met a HOT muscle daddy. I was up to my usual bar flirtation rituals: pulling on nips, feeling solid 19" arms, and lightly punching hard pecs with both fists.
The juice head gorilla reached in to kiss me. What was I to do? It would have been disrespectful to hold back and not do the manly exchange of spit. So, I obliged. Then someone got the red ass.
See, there is a significantly younger person who has been interested in me for quite some time. He was a nice play thing. I never took our friendship seriously because of the age difference and the fact that he could move away at any moment.
In recent weeks, the younger person clearly let me know they would like a relationship. I purposelessly used male defense mechanisms of: tone deafness and cluelessness.
It was with great surprise to see him out at the Pub, because I hadn't heard from him all week. Usually, I'd get texts and cute pics through out the day. This should have been a clue. (Duh!) I shrugged it off, hung out and chatted with him over Bud Lite.
When it was time to call it a night, I kissed the juice head gorilla "goodbye". The young fella offered to walk me to my vehicle. (insert Admiral Ackbar's classic it's a trap!)
Just a few feet away from the Pub, I was abruptly stopped on the sidewalk. Unleashed was a fiery asshole-ripping speech going through a laundry list of what was wrong with me. Oh my gawd. Not in front of my stomping grounds!
So, there I was. Motionless. Taking the brutal beat down. Friends walked by and smirked. Every word he seethed was completely true. Hell, I would think I was a douche too!
At this moment, I had a familiar feeling that I had witnessed this scene before. What dramatic television series was this from? Oh yeah... this was when Felicity undressed Ben from "The List" in season two:
In the future, I should convey exactly what I am looking for so there are no communication issues, hurt feelings, or dramatic scenes played out in front of the Pub.
I wonder if I should mail him an Emmy for best dramatic role in a soap opera? I'm sure the scene got GREAT ratings from Pub patrons. (BLUSH)