Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Cuntzilla: Before the Glamor

You may have stumbled upon a witch's prophecy foretelling of Cuntzilla's Rise. Cuntzilla was NOT transformed instantly into a beautiful and powerful woman. To suggest so is heresy!

As you'll learn in future chapters of "The Book of Brett", Cuntzilla will face an uphill battle in her silly quest to be an icky sugary pop princess. One fateful day, a fairy will wave a magic wand and chant, "No longer will you be a pig in a bar, become that who you are!"

Instantly, Jimbo the bitchy gay man becomes a gaping wide noxious pussy. Upon seeing itself, shrieks of fury queefs howl through the night. It ain't pretty!

Cuntzilla will eventually meet a powerful 200 year old Master athlete who will defy the aging process naturally. The Master will regularly pummel Cuntzilla with large super absorbent tampons. She will be taught humility, servitude, and obedience!

Cuntzilla bides her time and takes the abuse until a dark period known as "The Bloody Insurrection" takes place. This is when Cuntzilla discovers her secret powers.

Stay tuned... it's an exciting tale with bite!


Anonymous Anderson Cooper said...

May I recommend throwing Jimbo in a "cucumber melon" scented pool?

April 06, 2011  
Blogger A Lewis said...

Is THIS what they do out there on the farm? In the middle of nowhere? Where nobody can see? Shame on you country boys.

April 06, 2011  
Blogger Jay said...

I don't get you anymore. I am officially "over" you.

April 06, 2011  
Blogger RG said...

Have you been smoking my weed again?

April 07, 2011  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

Cuntzilla is the story of a bitchy gay man (Jimbo)... morphing into an icky super pop star. As foretold in
"The Book of Brett", it will happen in the future.

April 07, 2011  
Blogger D@vid said...

You seem very playful and fun to hang out with :)

April 08, 2011  
Anonymous rusty, out on the factory floor said...

I'm pretty sure you're inserting that tampon backwards, the string should be hanging out.

Could a cross-threaded tampon be the source of cuntzilla's distress?

April 10, 2011  

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