With each passing day, I think of things Tommy has missed. He hasn't endured seeing the horrific images and videos coming out of Japan. On the flip side, he has missed beautiful Spring days here in Louisiana. That's sad, because we both endured a long harsh Winter.

Tommy's death has changed me profoundly. It's like someone with a long needle popped my balloon. Happiness for me was once measured in thrilling tennis victories. Being with friends made me happy.

Tommy died happy. He was doing exactly what he wanted to do. He no longer has to worry about growing older, paying bills, or getting to work on time. Tommy does not have to witness friends or family dying in the future. He doesn't have to worry about being stricken with cancer or some other debilitating condition.

I envy him. He got out while the getting was good. I seem to go through the motions doing things I always do... inevitably marching towards my own death. I now question things that I used to value.

Was it all worth it?

Hmm...