Thursday, February 03, 2011

N.H.G.


I'm a manly man. In fact, if I were at the Gold's Gym in Castro right now, I'd be pulling Moby forward by the shirt collar and telling him to MAN UP! If he didn't immediately respond with a "YES, SIR!", hell hath no fury. Grunt.

Which makes the incident that happened this morning so shocking. I was running around the house getting ready for gym and work. At one point, I stopped... flipped my wrist... and muttered "I don't need that shirt." Staring up at me in horror was my dog Boudreaux.


I was flushed with shame. "NOOOO... you didn't see Daddy do that, did you?" Boudreaux growled.

A little background information: Boudreaux is a Dachshund who has "little dog syndrome". He'll regularly fight with other dogs much bigger than himself. I have tried in vain to help him with his "Napoleon Complex". All to no avail. Tsk. Tsk.

As a man, God has graced me with superior logic and reasoning skills. I immediately fetched the squeaky rabbit toy. The challenge for household Alpha status was on!

For ten minutes, we were on the floor growling and tugging at the stuffed rabbit. My growl was louder and unrelenting. I even tapped him on the hind leg to startle him into dropping the rabbit. RAWR! WHO's THE ALPHA DOG NOW?!

After firmly demonstrating my dominance in the household, I drove to the gym and performed a ball busting HARD workout. Thankfully, the nelly hand gesture has NOT reappeared. I'm on watch, however, as the nelly alert level is apparently on pink. GROAN.

18 Comments:

Blogger behrmark said...

Thanks for making me laugh. Loved it.

February 03, 2011  
Blogger Raybeard said...

:-)) You really kill me! But keep on doing it!

February 03, 2011  
Blogger RG said...

Let me see if I get this correct: you're worried about a nellie hand gesture, made in private in front of your dog? And THEN, to absolve yourself of the grave sin of showing any kind of femininity, you wrestle with your dog to show him you're still "butch" and you over-compensate at the gym - is that basically it? Wow.

You're a strange and conflicted man - I like those traits in a man, leaning more toward strange than conflicted. :)

February 03, 2011  
Blogger Blobby said...

I have tried in vain to help him with his "Napoleon Complex".

...and who is helping you with yours?

February 03, 2011  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

What Napoleon Complex?

February 03, 2011  
Blogger RG said...

Napoleon Complex: A skin cleansing regime by Avon, that exfoliates, moisterizes and provides much needed anti-aging complex for the 40+ age group.

February 03, 2011  
Anonymous BosGuy said...

Oh -snap- grrrrrl.

February 03, 2011  
Anonymous Kevin M said...

Somehow, "butcher than a nelly little weiner dog" doesn't strike me as a huge accomplishment.

February 04, 2011  
Blogger TonkaManOR said...

@Kevin M - he is taking baby steps! Or pocket gay steps in his case!

February 04, 2011  
Blogger Jim said...

Are you going to beat yourself up for that?

February 04, 2011  
Anonymous Adkcub said...

Boudreaux will never forget!

February 05, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

um, you're a man of a certain age who refers to himself as the fucking dog's "daddy"? bitch, please.

February 09, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The fact of the matter is your wrist are always in that position when you are bent over face down on a bed, on a chair or on the floor. Usually muttering....hmmm...ummmmmm...hmmmm!

I will say no more.

February 10, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I'm a manly man. In fact, if I were at the Gold's Gym in Castro right now, I'd be pulling Moby forward by the shirt collar and telling him to MAN UP! If he didn't immediately respond with a "YES, SIR!", hell hath no fury. Grunt.

I've seen your YouTube Videos... You're not a manly man.....

Not that there's anything wrong with that... Just embrace who you are... :)

February 13, 2011  
Blogger Jeff said...

I wanna what happend to the GLEE inspired football game?

February 14, 2011  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

The Glee inspired football game was taken off because I was embarrassed by my poor tackling abilities that day. LOL.

February 15, 2011  
Blogger cb said...

How are YOU supposed to help anything that has a Napoleon Complex?? Geesh!

February 20, 2011  
Blogger drlffong said...

you are so cute

March 06, 2011  

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