My Secret Life as a Super Pr*ck:
If my life was in song, it would be "The Imperial March" (Darth Vader's Theme) portraying power and totalitarian rule over Jimbo's ass -- otherwise known as "the Galaxy". Muahaha!
Contrary to false rumor and conjecture, I am not single because of an inability to get along well with others. That's poopy cock! I have high standards. Impress me with athleticism and strength, not how far you can extend your pinky, sipping on a girlie drink, while wearing a fagulous flowery shirt.
Do you know what I did for Valentines Day? I played a foe from Grindr who said he was going to kick my ass. Do you know how to charm my pants off? Tell me you are gonna kick my ass.
I warned this Grindr foe that we were playing "Loser Bottoms". I swept the 6'2" giant 6-0, 6-2 in straight sets. I would have collected on the bet, but my Mama had already called me to come over and eat. He should thank my Mama for saving his ass from certain destruction.
It is no secret that I have a deep seeded need to conquer, WIN, and subjugate all opposition. Does this make me crazy? One treacherous soul suggested that I should consider taking an Abnormal Psych class just for fun. Skating on thin ice, he remarked - "You could get your pic in the book and be famous!"
Instead of knocking the fuck out of him, I clenched my jaw. His disrespect was duly noted. I actually gave him 1 point for bravery. Payback WILL be forthcoming. I don't get mad... I get even.
Tonight, I play the sixth tennis match in seven days. On top of all the on court terror, I have worked out with a WOOFY personal trainer four times in the same period. No, I am not crazy. I'm dedicated.