Monday, December 06, 2010

Tim vs. the World



I am back from planet Hoth (Wisconsin). It was my very first trip to Wisconsin. My only reference is Jimbo. Surprisingly, Wisconsin is not overrun by Gingers. I found the people pleasant and not bitchy at all. By the way, I love Jimbo dearly... in strict ten minute increments. ;)

What was I doing in Wisconsin? Tim. Yep, it was our fourth meeting. If anyone would like to dissect what kind of man is right for me, it's Tim. He's everything I like in a man. He's manly, shovels snow, drives three hours to fetch me from the airport, and feeds me jalapeno poppers while I lay on the couch.

Like me, Tim didn't cut and run to a gay ghetto. Rather than cowardly hide from heterosexuals and be insulated, Tim bravely bought a bar and grill in a small hilly town in western Wisconsin. I especially love the fact that Tim lives near his family and sees them regularly.

I enjoyed spending a typical weekend in Tim's life. Driving through snow covered small towns away from the hustle and bustle was very romantic. It was nice seeing vast amounts of farm land, silos, and barns away from the sickness that is urban sprawl.

The funny part was hearing the Wisconsin accent. Tim hides it well, but you'll sometimes hear a true version of it when he talks to other Wisconsiners. Every time someone sounded straight out of the movie Fargo, I couldn't stop myself from giggling.

I really adore Tim. He's an important person in my life and I am glad to have him. :)

30 Comments:

Blogger Homer said...

You manage to insult gay guys who happen to live in big cities. Nice. It wasn't that long ago you were spending weekends in the French Quarter because you were tired of the boring country life.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger ravenspb said...

It seems that you, Brett, don't understand that the vast majority of gays and lesbians do not live in a gay ghetto.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Jeff said...

I guess some people have never heard the term "fly-over-states" (Can we say CASTRO, HILLCREST or GREENWICH VILLAGE). Sometimes it seems that gays who live on the coasts don't realize when they're insulting those of us inbetween.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

I am merely making a comment about big city gays who hide away in their own gayborhoods and ghettos to never visit their own families and relatives. It's cowardice and a slap in the face to the community and familes who raised them. Just my opinion. Everyone has one.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Loki's Log said...

Brett,

Sounds like you found a great guy and wish you both lots of luck at moving forward. If you want some great insight into living in Wisconsin from a writer that can make you laugh outloud and make you drop to your knee and shed a silent tear -- read Michael Perry's Population 485. I have given it as gifts more often than I can remember.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger RG said...

You may call it, "cut and run" but I'm pretty sure, some LGBT people who left the rural life called it "running for their lives." And the reason they don't visit their families is because their families are homophobic dicks.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

All they do by cutting and running is to encourage their family's to be homophobic dicks. Rather than making a stand and assimilating into their local communities, they surrender and run down the yellow brick road in search of Oz.

Where do they go when it is there time? They move back home to family... where they spent decades away avoiding. It is a sad commentary on the state of gay life. In my opinion, it ultimately harms our cause in the long run.

Once again... just my opinion.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger behrmark said...

I'm enjoying your blog immensely Brett, especially that you write this wonderful piece about Tim but other readers are jumping down your throat about your take on "gayborhoods." It's better than anything on TV.
Congratulations on finding Tim. And may the fifth meeting be sooner rather than later.
Behr Hugs!

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Homer said...

By your logic, straight people who chose to move away from home to get an education or to find a good job are also cowards.

Have you ever been to North Dakota? The majority of small towns are dying because of the death of small farming and lack of jobs. So all of those people who left are cowards too.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger J.P. said...

I enjoy the way you think. I hope our paths cross somewhere between the coasts in a small town within sight of a cow someday. I'd love to visit this small establishment you mention

I like your head-on attitude.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

You are no Rachel Maddow. Nowhere in my post did I mention anything about straight people fleeing from home to become educated and find jobs.

I was talking about gays who flee home to live and stay exclusively in gayborhoods far away from home.

It wrongly gives the impression that we Homo's must run away and be among our own kind to be happy.

Nothing can be further from the truth. We have the power to make our own happiness. And that's by assimilating into maintstream society and not in our own little segregated rainbow worlds.

Longterm... it is counter productive to our own struggle for rights and acceptance.

The lesson here: Don't RUN. Be TOUGH. Stay STRONG.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Homer said...

The world according to Brett. If you aren't a manly gay man living five miles from where you were born, then you are a horrible Gay.

So exactly why did you live in the French Quarter for those weekends? And exactly why do you have to date long distance a guy in Wisconsin, aren't there other men living in your rural area that you should be dating?

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

Why Wisconsin? I have high standards of what I look for in a man and most fall well short. I am not settling for less than what I deserve.

Renting a weekend place close to the French Quarter was like having a vacation home. It was nice to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

December 06, 2010  
Anonymous durban bud said...

Why does Brett hate people who live in big cities?

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

Why does Durban Bud not Jiggy Dance?

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Blobby said...

16 comments and counting. You're becoming a little slutty in your quest for more blog hits.

...and I totally approve. :)

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

This blogworld needs an enema Blobby. It is time we stand up for what we believe in and freely speak our minds. I am all about clean asses.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger Ice John's World said...

I think you need to start a column, "Brett in Louisiana and Wisconsin". :) Good for you about Tim!

December 06, 2010  
Blogger TonkaManOR said...

Hmm, I left Washington, DC (A Large City) to move to Portland, OR (A Small City). Oh a not a Gay Ghetto. Most of my neighbors are straight with children. Portland is my Home, not DC.

And As far as running home to family....both of my parents are in the ground at Quantico National Cemetary.

Now I must decide wether I ma done with your opinion. Do I unfriend you or do I continue to listen to your wanton display of self esteem issues and mego posts to garner commnets/hits so that you look somewhat important.

December 06, 2010  
Anonymous Kevin M said...

So if a gay person moves away from (fill in the blank: Wisconsin, North Dakota, Nebraska) and moves to a big city, he's running away and if he was a "real man" (in your warped, twisted world), he would stay and show those pesky bigots just how "normal" homosexuals can be (except, of course, when he changes the pronouns referring to the person he's dating because "someone might overhear"). He's "slapping the face" of the people who raised him.

There's no possibility, of course, that in that small town world in which he grew up, there are no good job options, and if he wants a career in something like, oh, finance or publishing or IT, he needs to move. Of course not. He's just guilty of cowardice.

Meanwhile his straight brother who did the exact same thing, but who moved to a straight neighborhood instead of a gay one, gets a free pass. You're correct that you didn't mention straight people moving away, because that defeats the entire point of your argument. You've constructed your little imaginary world in which you've decided the reasons gay people moved, and of course you're going to ignore anything which might contradict your Potemkin Village of a life.

If your body were as agile and capable of twists and convoluted positions as your mind is, you'd be even more popular during your slutty phases than you are already.

Naturally, of course, you stress "assimilation" because that's what you desperately strive for yourself; do you pray every morning "God, please help people not mistake me for a homosexual"? And yet you brag, constantly, on how different cajuns are and how different Southerners are - why aren't you encouraging THEM to assimilate?

You have this woefully mistaken idea that the bigots who hate us only do so because they think we're all effeminate queens and that bothers them. If only, your little brain thinks, we could show them we're just regular folk! "By gum, Martha, look, he watches football! Them queers must be okay after all!"

Newsflash: That's not why they hate us. They hate us because we're gay, period. The ones who accept us - and their number is growing, FAST - don't care if we're butch, nelly, football-watchers, opera-goers, or whatever.

"Trying to pass" never worked as a civil rights strategy for blacks, and it's not going to work for gays. There's a term that was used for blacks who sucked up to whites in a (vain) attempt to get treated as their equal. How's that country life treating you, Uncle Tom?

December 06, 2010  
Blogger mikeinbama said...

Brett, you need a nice midwestern boy to settle down with.

By the way, I expect you to sign up for the bowl mania college football pick'em.

December 06, 2010  
Blogger JC said...

Maybe you should post how A&M is going to Beat The Hell outta LSU in the Cotton Bowl ....that won't cause any controversy -- haha

December 07, 2010  
Anonymous LacduFlambeau said...

As a Wisconsite myself (though I did flee the big city of Milwaukee to move to an even bigger gay ghetto in Philadelphia) I approve of you being in that lovely state and eating snow and meeting a nice guy. I like that he fed you while you lazed on the couch. That is the best!

December 07, 2010  
Blogger JC said...

Oh yeah, i forgot to ask about the background in the one picture... is that a tennis court or volleyball court burried in snow, I hear those show drifts get pretty high!

December 07, 2010  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

It's a tennis court

December 07, 2010  
Anonymous London Bear said...

My word, some people get very excited, don't they? But it's your blog, Brett - you say what you like.

It seems to me that the point is not so much about running away but in establishing "gaybourhoods". How does that help the cause of acceptance and integration? It just makes any perceived barriers all the more distinct.

If you are gay and proud to be then surely you should be happy to live as part of the wider community?

December 08, 2010  
Blogger Jeff said...

A somewhat humorous thing I notice about bloggers who live in "gaybourhoods" is that they don't have a realistic connection with the rest of the world.

December 08, 2010  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

You are correct Jeff. Remember when they praised Obama as the next Messiah? They are so besides themselves that all their dreams didn't come true. Who warned them not to be sheep? ME.

Who is everyone (including many Republicans) wishing was President NOW? Hillary Clinton. That's right. That was my choice, but I was painted as a country bumpkin that didn't know squat and needed to shut up.

All I can say: "I TOLD YOU SO!"

December 08, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm glad you have found a guy and I think it's great that he's established himself in his community. That goes a long way towards showing the rest of the population that gay is a normal way to be. And as a fellow Southerner, I get what you mean about family.

December 08, 2010  
Blogger WranglerMan said...

You went to Wisconsin wearing that jacket? And they didn't run you out of the state on a rail???

As for the flyover states, people are people everywhere. I grew up in NYC. The guys in Chelsea are just as nice or nasty as the guys in other parts of the country!

December 13, 2010  

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