Tuesday, October 05, 2010

A Whole Lotta Crazy in There:

On the Eve of battle, all preparations have been made. Weapons sharpened. There will be no pity for those left in the path of what's rightfully mine: a Championship Trophy. I own five Finalist trophies. That means I have played (and humiliatingly lost) in five championship matches. I am the goddamn Susan Lucci of the GLTA world!!! Grrr...

To say that I am a tad obsessed in months prior to a tournament would be an understatement. 100% of my focus is on this tournament. I haven't had sex (or wanted it) since Labor Day weekend. Hell, I haven't been in a bar since that time either. Sex and beer equal unnecessary roadblocks.

Does gearing up for a tennis tournament warp my mental state? You betcha! I become like Kathleen Turner in Serial Mom. I initiate PSYOPS to mess with court rivals. Whether it be by text message or email, my rivals know I am coming. I will not rest until I have their wiggly hearts on a fireplace poker.

It is a challenge to stay focused on fitness goals. Just last night, my Mom invited me over to eat Chili. I must have looked thin, because the first question she asked was --"How many days in a row have you played tennis?" My answer: "five". She expressed concern. "We have lots of Chili... fix you a big bowl". The sirens in my head immediately began to sound. Et tu Mommy?

"Why don't you have a Sunkist soda with that?", she suggested. I locked onto her with a steely gaze. Is she plotting to fatten me up on the eve of the Texas Open?! "I'll have a diet coke." I successfully blocked Mom's feeble attempt at sabotaging my well armed battle station.

Mom didn't let up. "Baby, why don't you take home some Chili to eat for lunch and dinner?" I scowled. "I have a tennis match tomorrow... lessons the next day... I won't have time to eat." She frowned. I smirked. Another victory for me.

Yeah. It's crazy town in my head right now. What will Tim, the new Boyfriend, think of all this? I dunno. Let's see if I can hide some of the super competitive. I would hate to scare him away. LOL. Stay tuned...

I'll be in Dallas on Thursday!


Blogger Raven~ said...

Brett, honey ... Tim doesn't read you blog? Surely Tim reads your blog ...

He already knows :-D

October 05, 2010  
Blogger Julius Seizure - Jim to my Peeps said...

Sweet boy, you are living proof of the phrase: "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean people AREN'T out to get you." Play nice, win something pretty!

Oh, and you may want to re-publish this posting. Only the top half of that photo came through for some reason. (evil grin)

October 05, 2010  
Blogger RG said...

You should've taken the chili - it would've given you extra power in your serve. Not to mention the comedic value too!

October 06, 2010  
Blogger JC said...

Vini, vidi, vici!

Kick butt and take names

October 07, 2010  
Blogger WranglerMan said...

Have fun at the tournament! And have more fun with Tim!

October 08, 2010  

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