Thursday, May 28, 2009

Looking for Love

It has been 82 days since I was released from a moribund relationship. Unlike previous breakups, I didn't feel that the Earth stood still on this fateful day. My spirit soared as the day I came out to my parents twelve years ago. A huge weight suddenly vanished into thin air. Happiness filled my soul.

I am certifying myself as ready to date. It's been tough, but I can emphatically state that I have made it past the crazy stage. My house is now as clean as it used to be. I have even made it past the insanity of simultaneously belonging to three tennis leagues.

On Friday, I have a date with a blue eyed Cajun boy. He is only a tad bit younger than I am. He has a respectable job and a sweet Mama's boy personality. We'll begin the courtship with dinner and a movie. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Our Sheepish Leader

It’s wrong to have millions of Americans living as second-class citizens in this nation. And I ask for your support in this election so that together we can bring about real change for all LGBT Americans. I will never compromise on my commitment to equal rights for all LGBT Americans. As your President, I will use the bully pulpit to urge states to treat same-sex couples with full equality in their family and adoption laws. I support the complete repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Federal law should not discriminate in any way against gay and lesbian couples, which is precisely what DOMA does. Americans are yearning for leadership that can empower us to reach for what we know is possible. I believe that we can achieve the goal of full equality for the millions of LGBT people in this country. To do that, we need leadership that can appeal to the best parts of the human spirit. Join with me, and I will provide that leadership. Together, we will achieve real equality for all Americans, gay and straight alike.

– Barack Obama, Feb 2008

I think we can all now agree that gays made a HUGE MISTAKE in voting for Obama. He has shown no propensity for CHANGE with regard to gay rights. If you look at Hillary Clinton's recent actions, Obama looks like a dick in comparison.

As this administration habitually ducks questions about Don't Ask, Don't Tell, it is very apparent that Obama is content with keeping us gays as second class citizens. I regret voting for Obama. It was a HUGE mistake. Through actions made so far in 2009, Hillary was clearly the better choice to be President.

Goodbye to Tucson

Hey y'all! I am back home in Louisiana. Homer is an excellent host. Even though we've hung around each other on two previous occasions, this was the first time we got to spend a lot of time together one-on-one.

Homer is an extremely warm hearted soul. It was fun to immerse myself in his world and hangout with his fun buds. Let me tell you, those Tucson boys sure fall for a Southern drawl! I smiled so much this weekend as the locals were all very friendly to me.

It was fun to observe all of Homer's pets too. Henny Penny is delightful. His cast of cats (Mama Cat, Joey, Snowball, and Puff) were entertaining to watch. Joey and Mama Cat are very well mannered. Snowball has lightening quick reflexes. What can I say about Homer's most charismatic pet Puff? Well... Puff tried his darnedest to be good during my entire stay, but he could not hold out any longer. Puff sure lived up to his bad kitty reputation on my last night in Tucson.

During this trip, I got an unexpected bonus. A friend of mine (John) was able to meet up for competitive games of tennis and show me around Phoenix before I flew back home. This was the first time John and I met in person after being Internet buds for the last seven years.

I had so much fun in the warm sunshine of Arizona, that I was sad hugging everyone "goodbye". Perhaps sometime this Summer I can make another trip back. Thanks Homer, Tucson, and John for making this trip very memorable.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Tucson: The Untold Stories

When Henny Penny escaped into a neighbor's yard, Homer had to frantically catch her. Instead of helping, I chose to capture the riveting drama on camera:

I lost all consciousness (after shrieking like a girl) when Homer suddenly announced there was a snake next to us on the trail.

When there is a camera around, there is always an opportunity to take off your shirt.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sonoran Desert Trip

Today, Homer and I made a trek down King's Canyon trail in the Sonoran Desert. It was very scenic and quite peaceful. I got fussed at several times for having trouble walking over the loose rocks down the trail. In my defense, we have flat ground and very few rocks littering paths in Louisiana.

My excellent tour guide Homer

I did NOT shriek like a girl when Homer suddenly announced there was a snake next to us.

Rock Art

The trail had cool natural steps

A Lizard

Saturday, May 23, 2009

A Day in Tucson

I have awakened to a glorious day filled with sunshine in Tucson, Arizona. As I type this, I have just eaten waffles and strawberries prepared by my host Homer. He is taking pretty good care of me.

My first impression of Tucson is that it is really laid back over here. That's not a bad thing, because it is good for the soul to be away from the hustle and bustle. I have been pleasantly surprised that Tucson does have trees and green spaces. It's not at all tumbleweeds and sand blowing across the desert.

Homer's country estate is lush with very friendly creatures. There is Henny Penny the chicken, Joey, Puff, Mama Cat, and Snowball. Additionally, birds are always visiting this peaceful oasis. If I didn't know any better, I would think Homer is the unditzy version of Snow White.

This is me holding Homer's cat Puff. So, far... Puff is not nearly as mischievous as you may think. Sure, he has one vampire tooth hanging down, but don't let that stop you from picking him up. For a cat, Puff is quite huggable and needs loving as much as any other pet or person would.

Last night, Homer and I pigged out at Rosa's Mexican Restaurant. He had cheese enchiladas... I had a chicken chimichanga loaded with sour cream. Yum! Afterwards, I got to meet the very friendly Forrest who lives in the guest house. Soon, his friends came over and we were treated to quite the musical hoedown. The comeraderie made me smile a lot last night.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Tucson Bound

This week's trip to Tucson is coming at a crucial time. This Diva needs some major rest and relaxation. How bad has it been? As of Thursday night, I will have played tennis 13 out of the last 16 days. While every square inch of my body is rock hard, I ain't a spring chicken. I am slap ass worn out.

Enough about me... let's talk about the poor bastard that has agreed to invite me over for the weekend. Homer has never had the... umm... "honor?" of hosting me. Perhaps honor is the wrong word choice. Sucker? Masochist? Enabler? Glutton for punishment? Many words come to mind. I am sure you can add a few of your own.

Whatever the reason, this might be Homer's golden ticket to heaven and last chance to get right with J.C. Can you imagine a worse penance? Neither can I!

I have met Homer in person on two separate occasions. The first time was in April 2006 in SF for my first ever Blogger Meat-n-Greet. I was a well fed blue ribbon hog back then. The second encounter was in DC last Summer during my trailer trash meth phase (Adderall). Wait a minute... I am still on that legally prescribed medication.

Drama and sordid things will surely ensue. I am hoping the guffaws will be limited to 16 and 1/2 minutes when I display my awesome dog paddling skills around the pool. Is there a kiddie pool? I get scared tip toeing past the 5' mark.

Questions to ponder: Will Tucson's water supply dwindle precipitously as I take shower after shower? Will the size of my steamer trunk cause the Earth to tilt slightly on it's axis near Tucson? Will Puff and I bond as mischievious shit stirring blood brothers? Stay tuned... and say a prayer for Homer.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Coping Mechanism

Am I insane or just an extremely health conscience individual these days? My schedule this week is very typical of what I have been doing since the divorce:

Tennis Match: Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday
Gym Workout: Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday

When I told a tennis foe my schedule this week, he said "Obviously, you aren't married are you?" I smiled and said, "NO. I am not!" I covered my grin like a Japanese schoolgirl.

One redeeming part of this insane fitness regimen is that I am sporting a hard body. Another perk is that I am often too physically and mentally tired to dwell on being single.

We all have our different coping mechanisms. Mine seems to be a healthy one that will ultimately benefit me. Unless I get an injury.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Trashy Bar Behavior

When it comes to trashy bar behavior, I can outwhore them all. That bitch Charlene Hilton has nothing on me! This photo was taken by a bud named Rusty at the Bourbon Pub this past Sunday in New Orleans. Here I am drinking my favorite alcoholic beverage... Bud Light. I may be an attention whore, but I am not an alcoholic. As you can see, lots of tennis keeps the fat fairy away!

Monday, May 11, 2009

A Marriage Proposal at the Country Club

My agenda was clear-cut. I was determined to work on my "farmers tan" before making a trip far across the desert to see Homer, king of the Tucsonites. I am already pensive that I will be harshly judged on my dog paddling skills in the swimming pool. I am hoping a friendly bear will kindly offer his lap so I can taxi around the pool.

So, here I was sporting my Boiish swimtrunks at the Country Club yesterday. The Country Club is a clothing optional gay resort located just outside the French Quarter. Since my reputation is one of modesty, purity and virtue, I didn't go au naturale.

It was at this place that I got a marriage proposal. A nice 50 year old man from New York was quite smitten with me. I was delighted to make a new friend, so I engaged in some good conversation. Apparently, it is more of a novelty in New York to strike up conversations with total strangers.

Being social comes very easy for me since I have conquered my shyness. But does it hinder me in relationships? Am I simply too much of a social butterfly? Or a handful? Or... GASP... high maintenance? That is what I am pondering now.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

New Offspring on the Farm

Thursday, May 07, 2009

No Strings Attached

We are now at day 61 of our construction project. The walls have been gutted. A little spit shine has been put on the few antique relics worth saving. I'd have to say this project is going pretty well considering there are no deadlines. Sure, there have been cost overruns... but this is too important to not get it right the first time.

The biggest question about this project seems to be... "So how are you doing?" I am doing fine, thank you for asking. "Are you dating anybody?" Umm... nope. "Are you serious?" As a heart atack!

No one wants to take on such a large project in the middle of all the work that is being done. I don't blame them. Debris and dust are everywhere. Workers are coming and going. Engineers peer down at their drawings and scratch their heads at the audacious project. You would think they were building a world wonder like the Colossus of Rhodes.

If I am not working out, I am playing tennis. Sometimes I do both on the same day. I am too tired physically and mentally to dwell on my singlehood. The perks to keeping such a tight schedule is that I am now sporting a hard body bereft of any squishy parts. I'll let you touch it if you wanna. ;)

Let me reassure you that it's not all work without any play. When the weekend comes, I have fun socializing with buds. Did I ever tell you that I have some of the greatest friends in the world? I do. They have been very supportive as I make progress moving forward.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Don't Believe the Hype!

Call me a Doubting Debbie, but I ain't buying it. Where is the scary pandemic? Why are we not dropping like flies? Could this be because the media is once again trying to whip up hysteria?

I have seen it too many times. I remember when the Bush cronies whipped up support for the Iraq war. They scared us into believing that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. Collin Powell even did a presentation where our troops were certain to be subjected to biological weapons once they approached a certain distance from Baghdad. It didn't happen.

Lo and behold, Iraq didn't have any weapons of mass destruction. Whoops! Our bad. Sorry for the hundreds of thousands of deaths we caused by invading your country. The Iraq invasion served no purpose other than filling up the coffers of the defense industry, hiking up the price of oil, and getting revenge on Saddam for mocking George H.W. Bush. We were all gullible sheep back then to believe the propaganda.

Now, we should utilize our critical thinking abilities, ask questions, and look at the facts. The statistics on H1N1 do not look all that daunting. Check here, here, and here. While I think this whole hullabaloo was good practice for various world government agencies to test their preparedness, this H1N1 virus ain't the great plague sweeping over humanity.

When religion, government or media instills fear, somebody profits and ultimately controls the masses of weak minded fools. I refuse to be one of them. You may now crawl out of your caves and start making sweet love again.