Saturday, January 31, 2009

Welcome to My World

Let's pretend you are a fly on the wall slyly capturing a typical moment in the life of Brettcajun and E.Shrew. Pierre has just returned home from the animal hospital. I yearn to capture the moment in a heartfelt blog post. 

Naturally, I immediately take off my shirt and run around the house to find a camera. E.Shrew is not a fan of the blog and wants no part of photographing me... err... us.  I think the phrase used was... "This is SUCH bullshit! You are just using Pierre for a sham photo shoot of yourself!" E.Shrew deliberately ruins the photo in a show of disgust:


Boudreaux is silently judging the spectacle and wonders when he is going to get some attention. I can tell he is plotting to piss in the bed:


I kindly remind Boudreaux that I could be evil and burden him with snuggies like Kelly Stern does Pino and Cricket:


Boudreaux mutters something under his breath and shuts up on the spot! 


One by one, we nod off to sleep hearing the sounds of Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World stream through our consciousness. :)

Monday, January 26, 2009

Blogger Bud Fest 2009


I woke up feeling like a new Kelly Clarkson song. I hate to admit it, but I am really fond of my blogger buds. My life would suck without you. Can we please put down our electronic devices and consider a Blogger Bud Fest in 2009?

I realize the economy is shitty and the weather is cold as a Witch's Tit, but we only live once. Don't let our lives pass us by! Now I am sounding all Sarah McLachlan.

SF in 2009? Or maybe a gay cruise? Anyone up for it?

Murder in the City that Care Forgot


There was a Second Line procession for Wendy Byrne on Saturday, where thousands joined in with a Jazz band to celebrate her life. It was a very touching experience to witness. Both E.Shrew and I agreed that we wouldn't mind going out in style like this when our time has come.

The scary part is that E.Shrew and I could have been the victims. The scene of the crime was right where we typically walk to go anywhere in the French Quarter. (this photo was taken from E.Shrew's balcony) We were in Miami on the fateful night Wendy was murdered in a robbery attempt.

What is the mentality of people who commit violent crimes?


Take Vanessa Johnson, the worst Mother in America. After her son Clarence lost a fistfight to a 17 year old, she gave him a handgun with instructions to kill the other boy. He did and is now serving life without parole. Miss Johnson is supposed to go on trial today in New Orleans for providing a firearm to a juvenile and second degree murder. (Update: DA's office decided to delay trial)

So what is society's solution? Every city cannot simply demolish their breeding grounds for high crime. These people have to go somewhere. We can't turn a blind eye and hope they just kill each other off. Or ship them to Australia.

It is sad to say that there may not be a solution. We may have to accept that humans are not far removed from the animal kingdom. We have the capacity for love and kindness, but we also kill each other too. As our human society is not perfect, we just have to co-exist and hope for the best.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Bwahaha!


The hunky Chris Leavens, of Cute with Chris, has now seen my Cock. Be sure to let Chris know that you have seen my Cock too, and it's prettier than Homer's "Henny Penny". Knowing that Chris has seen my cock has put a huge smile on my face. :)

White House Professionalism


I am giving the new Obama White House the benefit of the doubt that things have been hastily done because there are more pressing priorities. I am hoping civility and manners are soon adopted by this new administration.

What am I talking about? Under Additional Issues on the official White House website, it is apparently appropriate to pimp your bestselling books AND knock former presidents. Is this practice common with new administrations?

Personally, I was lukewarm to President Obama's inaugural address on Tuesday. It felt more like a sucker punch to the outgoing president than a great speech. By no means am I a George W. Bush fan, but I do believe you can get the same point across with a little more subtlety.

I urge President Obama to remove his book advertisements, delete the sharp criticisms of our 43rd President under Katrina tab, and consult with someone before any future speeches and text are approved.

The reason I am stating all this is because I want to uphold the esteem of the Oval Office. Political season is over. Time to lead.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Saving Brandy


When will this cold spell ever end? I fondly remember winters in Louisiana lasting only for a few weeks. This has to be the longest winter we have had in quite some time. Hell, it even snowed down in New Orleans last month. In times like this, a horse on the farm like Brandy gets special comfort away from the bitter cold. I am ready for warmer temps to return to the South. Brrr...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Dear Mr. President


Congratulations on becoming the 44th President of the United States. You have promised change. I am eager to see change come. I personally hope you cure our broken healthcare system and take away the license to steal from our health insurers and pharmaceutical companies. I pray that you lead the way to renewable energy, higher gas mileage standards and energy independence. I look forward to seeing how you deal with the Middle East and their treatment of Israel. Most of all, I hope you help spur a new era of civil rights for the GLBT community. Good luck and may the force be with you!

French Quarter Murder

New Orleans is buzzing about the French Quarter Murder on Saturday. The sketches of the suspects are here. A 15 year old turned himself in here. This story has racial tension bubbling over in the Big Easy. Just read the comments in the story links.

This gives me a frightening flashback to when I was 23 years old walking around the French Quarter. A friend and I were snuck up on and robbed at gunpoint by two African Americans. While he gave them his wallet, I ran as fast as I could. The victim killed on Saturday decided to run too... but she lost her life for it.

I have since learned to be street smart. If someone fits the stereotype of a mugger, I cross the street. If they are sitting on steps, I make a different path to my destination. If there is anything suspicious about their behavior, I call the police.

The victim apparently decided to take a chance in walking directly in front of her killers who were sitting on steps. The fateful decision cost her life. She was only 39.

Let this tragedy be a warning for all future visitors to the city of New Orleans. Be street smart. If it looks like a thug... it is a thug. Stereotyping may just save your life.

Miami: Art Deco Tournament

We are back from Miami without any hardware. I absolutely love these GLTA tennis tournaments. To be among hundreds of athletic gay men who can run from the baseline to the net in two seconds flat makes me proud. Doing that for two straight hours in up to four matches a day is quite awesome.

The #1 question asked all weekend was why I didn't choose my boyfriend to be my doubles partner. Umm... are you kidding? You don't partner up with your other half unless you know for sure you are going to win. Losing together has horrible consequences on the relationship.

E.Shrew in one of the fabulous outfits I bought him for Christmas:



E.Shrew's biggest victory came against me and my doubles partner Chip. Both our teams finished in a three way tie with an identical 2-1 record. Unfortunately, the third team won because of tournament tie-break rules. I did relish the fact that Chip and I were the only team to beat the eventual Doubles Champions.

As for myself, I begin the tournament with the butterflies. The stress of playing in a tournament can suddenly make your decent game bad. I got so frustrated that I was not hitting well or running around with my usual amount of energy. I ended up losing both my singles matches during the weekend. The good news is that I magically got pace back on my serves. Yay!

It was a good weekend to see fellow tennis buddies, meet new ones (Dennis), and share the adventure together with "M" and his partner. My next tennis tournament will be Austin in March.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Miami Tourney

Me at Center Court

Tennis Does the Body Good!

Me and Hot Boy Troy (from Dallas)

After two days, I have lost one singles match 7-6, 5-7, 6-3 and a doubles match 6-0, 7-6. I am NOT happy. I still have a Consolation Match tomorrow and two doubles matches. There is a chance I can win a Consolation Singles Trophy if I play drastically better on Sunday. Hell, I could even win the Doubles Championship if my partner (Chip) and I stage a miraculous comeback. Stay tuned.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

A Pocket Full of Sunshine

The great southern state of Louisiana will be under a hard freeze for the next two nights (27-28 degrees). Thankfully, I am escaping the bitter cold to the relatively warm shores of Miami today. The highs will be in the 70's and lows in the mid 50's. Don't hate me.

This will not be one of those relaxing vacations however. On this weekend, the Art Deco Miami tournament takes place at the Crandon Park Tennis Center at Key Biscayne. This is the same site where the pro's play the Sony Ericsson Open.


I fly into Miami this evening, where I will be picked up at the airport by a DC buddy named Chip. He is also my doubles partner for the tournament. My first and only match tomorrow is at noon. I may have three matches on Saturday and four matches on Sunday. The Finals take place Monday. I'll try to take pics and update my blog while in Miami. Wish me luck!

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Abigail (April 2, 2006 - January 14, 2009)

It is with great sadness that I am announcing Abigail, the chicken, has died today on the farm. She was 2 years and 9 months old. This chicken lived on the farm with eight other hens and Rocky the Rooster. Abigail received a proper burial at Noon today under a big oak tree. Her death follows her sisters Myrtle and Betsy. I am dedicating my play in this weekend's Miami Art Deco Tournament in her honor. My motto will be -- "WIN IT FOR ABIGAIL!"

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Prayer Vigil for Abigail

Dearest blog readers, I am asking for your prayers. My dear chicken, Abigail, has fallen ill and may not survive this day. The frosty conditions in Louisiana could not have come at a worst time for her.


When I fed the chickens this morning, I initially thought Abigail had passed away. To my amazement, she was still breathing and able to open one eye. I had to shoo the other chickens away from pecking her.

I did the best I could to comfort Abigail. My beautiful hen is now resting in the comfort of a warm nest. My heart is heavy knowing what awaits me when I get home. I sincerely hope her last moments on the farm are peaceful.


The picture above is E.Shrew playing with Abigail right before she became a showgirl in the chicken pen. Abigail will always be known for her legs, which were insured by Lloyd's of London for $1 million.

Pictured below is me with Abigail on June 23, 2006:


It may surprise you, but all of my chickens are dear to me. I raised them for the sole purpose of sharing eggs with family and friends. I spoil my chickens as much as I do my dogs. So many times, I have opened the chicken pen to let them roam free to eat grass and bugs on the farm.

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Oil Conspiracy


While the football and political seasons are winding down, my focus has turned to stories like this. For those of us that own vehicles, we watched our monthly fuel expenditures rise from $80 to over $400 a month. Price inflation on food rose at the supermarkets. When one liter of Listerine cost $7 at my local grocery store, I knew there was a problem. Our wallets were raped a lot last year. I am curious about the real cause. Are you? I encourage the media to continue to dig.

Monday, January 12, 2009

D-I-V-O-R-C-E



Sometimes I feel like Tammy Wynette. The moment hit me again this weekend at precisely 9:30am Sunday morning. I had just eliminated my first round foe 6-0, 6-0 in the Consolation Bracket. E.Shrew's opponent didn't show up, so he got to sit on his ass and watch me huff and puff for an hour.

It was me against E.Shrew in the Consolation Finals. This was the first time we had to play against each other in a tennis tournament. Umm... can you imagine the pressure of playing against your lover in front of others? It's very personal!

My strategy was to pretend I was not playing E.Shrew. That pretty turquoise shirt and white shorts looked like what I bought him for Christmas, but I was playing Joe Bleaux... not E.Shrew. This worked brilliantly as I was cruising along 5-3. I just needed two more points to take the first set.

Then something happened. My lead suddenly sank as E.Shrew won three straight games. SON OF A BITCH! I am going to lose the first set to E.Shrew! Why is this happening?!

Thoughts of an immediate D-I-V-O-R-C-E reverberated in my head. My ego will not allow a loss to the lowly Shrew. MUST. REGAIN. FOCUS. I was playing too tentatively. I had to ramp up the tempo and not worry about hitting it out.

That can of whoopass was ripped wide open because I took the first set 7-6 and opened a 5-0 lead in the second. The final score was 7-6, 6-1. I beat E.Shrew in the Consolation Finals in my first ever USTA singles tournament. D-I-V-O-R-C-E averted... for now.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Cherish the Crazy


When some things aren't working well in my life, I often compensate by channeling energy into other activities. Tennis and gym workouts have been the focal point of my week. I've had two grueling workouts with a personal trainer and three tennis matches this week alone.

I have lots to be appreciative of. One is my 8-0 winning streak in tennis. I have buried the opposition. Don't fret, the tournament Gods have seen to it that I get a reality check tomorrow. I have drawn the #1 seed in the first round of this weekend's USTA New Orleans tournament. Grrr...

I may very well be spanked right out of this tournament, but it'll be good practice. Next weekend, I'll be playing on gorgeous courts at Biscayne Bay in Miami for a GLTA tournament. It'll be good to see my GLTA buds again. They love tennis as much as I do.

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Monday, January 05, 2009

My Journey into the Lycan Den


The church bell alarm on my iPhone jarred me awake at 5am. My immediate reaction was to go back to sleep, but I knew I had a mission. It was on this day that I would begin a perilous journey into my new life.

What should I arm myself with? With only minutes to decide, I chose Adidas Formotion battle gear with Clima365 technology. My people are skilled in agility, motion, and speed. Though we may be puny, our gluttonous enemies have virtually no chance to capture us when we are properly armed.

I arrived to the Lycan Den with much trepidation. "Calm your nerves", I whispered to myself. You are a leader of your people and you have every right to be here.

The steroid laden Lycan brutes caught a whiff of my L'Occitane scent and immediately stopped what they were doing. Their eyes turned brighter. Fangs lengthened. I was pretty sure they were all giving me the exact same look of disdain. Was it my canary yellow shorts? Gulp!

Let me tell you, being judged simultaneously by a pack of 10 Lycans is quite the eery feeling. I was crossing my fingers that the power of the canary yellow shirts would blind them if they launched an attack.

Fortunately, the dropdead gorgeous Lycan leader greeted me before I was anyone's prey. He reassured me that as long as I was near his side, no harm would come to me. I immediately felt safe in his arms.... and boy did I want to be in his arms!

In the course of one hour, the Lycan leader worked me through nine manly chest and back exercises. His hand was placed on my muscles each time to check that they were indeed being worked. It was titillating, but I remained focused to the task at hand. I was certainly pushed further than I ever thought I could go.

At the end of our session, the Lycan leader announced I did much better than he had anticipated. WTF? Did this svelte figure make him think I can only do girly weights? My people are used to this type of stereotyping. It's a cross we must bear.

I survived my journey into the Lycan Den. I'll be back at the same time Wednesday morning, where the Lycan leader will give my legs a full one hour workout. I am very excited about the leg lift portion of the program!

I'll have to remember to not wear my canary yellow shorts. Afterall, the Lycan leader is too precious for me to blind.

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Thursday, January 01, 2009

Confined by Mores


Humans are silly creatures. We have social customs that Aliens may find downright funny. Like why can't women go topless, but men can? Why is nudity so taboo? We are all born naked as babies. It's a shame that I must crop my photos in the name of "decency". Tsk. Tsk.