I began my Southern Decadence holiday at the Country Club. Upon my arrival, I gasped... "OH DEAR". The notorious Bienville Boys were in the pool with none other than the Mobile Pierced Cock Brigade. Shit. They are going to sully my pristine reputation!
I struck up a conversation with Hairy Butt from the Mobile Pierced Cock Brigade. According to this Southern Belle, my YouTube videos were enjoyable because it showed a different side to me. I graciously thanked him, but the comment gnawed at me. Subtlety is part of Southern conversation. Was he subtly saying I am dreadfully boring in person? Cocktail!
The events that unfolded afterwards are mere rumor and tabloid fodder. My PR Team worked overtime to squash any damaging stories. It almost worked too, but then some drunkenass cheered and clapped when I walked into Rawhide with a friend that very same day. Doh!
An infamous "Porn Star" at the Country Club:
When I wasn't resting at Our Lady of Perpetual Tranquility, so wrongly referred to as the "Trick Pad", I was advised to walk around with a wholesome look. I enjoyed being squeaky clean right in the middle of two very hunky Ohio boys named Donald and Brian. This photo caught a rare moment when I was NOT being cockblocked by Matt's booty:
A highlight of the trip was carousing with the very sweet and innocent Carlos. If he looks familiar to you, Carlos is the former houseboy of TJ and Rob:
Since Carlos was practically a New Orleans virgin, I took him under my wing. I fed him, bathed him, and tried to teach him right from wrong. We had many joyful adventures together. It was nice to just hang out and chill with fellow buds Patrick (the whore) and John (the lumberjack).
Southern Decadence brought out so many people. These Hogwart Gurls were going around casting spells at everyone. We ran away screaming whenever their wands were out because "hog warts" were not something any of us wanted:
I would like to thank the Inn Keepers that housed me at Our Lady of Perpetual Tranquility. Those two old nuns took good care of me and my dogs. They fed us well and were in constant prayer and song for my soul. They were even so kind as to give shirts to the Bienville Boys when they lost theirs on some spooge stained floor. Now that's what friendship is all about! ;)