Monday, April 06, 2009

That Jerky Single Guy

I have seen it happen too many times, so it was only a matter of time before it happened to me. When people suddenly become single, they go through a period of whining and grieving. Then you get past that point.

You become thrilled you don't have to make one goddamn compromise with another half. You smirk at the misery you see in the faces of couples. Ha! Suckers!

The realization comes that you are truly the blessed one because you have a multitude of choices at your fingertips. You are the ruler of your own universe. You can do whatever the fuck you want.

The trick is to not lose all of your friends in the process.

My first stumble was securing places to stay while going out in New Orleans. I have loyal friends that have been very supportive of me through this D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Mi Casa Es Su Casa.

I'll go out... get a good beer buzz... and completely forget about calling my host to let them know I was driving home or staying somewhere else. Texting... Sorry you lost some sleep waiting on me to come in bro! doesn't cut it.

My second stumble is managing those interested in me. How can I juggle people without letting them know they are being juggled? While they may have been single for years, I haven't. I still have yet to figure out exactly what Brett wants.

Which comes to my next stumble. Why in the hell can't I ever give non-specific answers to questions? I end up blabbing my business (like having another date) because I am not skilled in the art of bullshit. I need to read some sort of "Mastering the Art of Being Single for Dummies" guidebook.

In the meantime, I bought several cookbooks for "single guys" and lots of new cookware. It is time I evolve into someone that cooks, rather than the person always eating out at restaurants. I have a few other things I need to "evolve" in, but I'll save that for a future blogpost.


Blogger -Tony- said...

My current BF was seeing a shrink for a few years before I came along and changed his status from single to involved then living with....the shrink told him to date around, find 3 for a weekend because God gave you Friday, Saturday & Sunday.

I, of course, would date as many as I could because variety IS way more fun!

April 06, 2009  
Blogger Mark in DE said...

I can definitely relate to your "blabbing my business". I tend to over-share as well, and feel bad about giving vague answers.

April 06, 2009  
Blogger TonkaManOR said...

Dude, you're old. Old and single. There is always!

April 06, 2009  
Blogger patrick said...

what the hell are you talking about?

April 06, 2009  
Blogger RG said...

Be truthful: "I'm not interested in dating anyone seriously. I just got out of a long term relationship and I'm just looking to suck and fuck as many men as possible." Got it?

April 06, 2009  
Anonymous pom pom pom said...

Hey, it's a great adventure to get to know yourself separately from another person. You seem like you're doing a good job adjusting. Don't worry about dating, offers, juggling, etc. for now. Just relax and enjoy the freedom of not being accountable to anyone for awhile, including an ability to just veg, chill, and forget about men in all ways every once in a while. They'll always still be there.

April 06, 2009  
Anonymous Howard said...

Go for it you need to take the time to be YOURSELF ... to hell with what everyone wants you to be you are your own person BRETT . trust me i was as lost a bastard goose when i split with my ex of 10 yrs..... but i am happy as hell now it has been 2 wonderful years

April 07, 2009  
Blogger TED said...

Oh for crying out loud. Tell the guys you meet that you're on the rebound and have done with it. Anyone who expects anyone on the rebound not to be a big old slut is looking for trouble, so you may as well help them find it.

April 07, 2009  
Anonymous johnmichael said...

I think you do need to explore for awhile, you won't know what you want until you find it.

April 07, 2009  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

good for you for learning some cooking!
it can be jolly good fun; i hope you enjoy it!

April 09, 2009  
Anonymous Houston Lurker said...

Dude... get your hot ass over to Memorial Park in Houston - SOON. No need to inform me that I am being juggled. But I can certainly help you have a little fun while you juggle everyone else...

April 13, 2009  

Post a Comment

<< Home