Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Quest to Be a Normal Gay


I have been single for exactly 46 days. Who would have thunk I would have survived this damn long? My friends all made wagers that my singlehoodness would not last. Who can blame them? My track record for staying single is not very good.

I have kept myself occupied by having a very hectic schedule. If I am not working out with my trainer (3x's per week), I am playing tennis in three leagues I belong to. I sometimes work out AND play tennis on the same day.

My life has sped up so fast since I became single. I often feel like I am barely holding on by the seat of my pants. There have been consequences. My once orderly house has become messy. My dogs are not getting enough attention. I am even taking risks by driving home from bars inebrieted.

The best way to describe how unbalanced I feel is to compare myself to a three legged chair. I am all wobbly because I am desperately missing my fourth leg. In a nutshell, I need to be a more normal gay. Life doesn't have to fly by so fast. I am not missing out on anything if I stay home. That's a lot coming from a Gemini, huh?!

So, I ordered some cookbooks from Amazon. What in the hell do cookbooks have to do with my condition? They hold the promise of giving my life more balance. It's a start... especially since I lost my cook in the divorce.

The closer I get to being more balanced, the happier I'll be in the long run. I am all about happy endings. :)

32 Comments:

Blogger dickspot said...

I'm an excellent cook, Brett.

I'd be glad to give you some lessons.......

Definitely want you to be Balanced. .... I make the best crawfish etouffee' in the world, and you haven't lived until you've eaten my grillades and grits !

April 22, 2009  
Blogger mikeinbama said...

Brett, there's too many normal gays. Be the quirky, crazy, fly by the seat of your pants gay guy. You owe it to your audience. Resist the urge to be normal.

April 22, 2009  
Blogger Kelly said...

3 words... Bear411, Manhunt, Adam4Adam... things to keep you busy while you stay at home... keeps us occupied... just saying... but that is coming from a dirty old man... oh wait...

April 22, 2009  
Blogger mikeinbama said...

Dickspot,

If you make etoufee'for me, I would be all yours. Please keep that in mind before you start giving it away.

April 22, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gemini's are never normal!

April 22, 2009  
Blogger dickspot said...

OH MY GOD, HE SPOKE TO ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Mike, Chain me to your stove and I'll cook for you forever.... just let me nibble on that fine ass from time to time...... oh, and kiss that gorgeous face...........

April 22, 2009  
Blogger Mike said...

Brett, enjoy being single. Being single doesnt mean being alone or lonely. I have been with my man for 23 yrs. We do everrything together and will be together for the rest of our days. We love each other so much. You will find a man that will hold you tight and never let you go. Have fun, be safe. Mike, sudio city, ca

April 22, 2009  
Blogger RG said...

Invite a bunch of SINGLE people (NO COUPLES) over to your house for an evening of laughter, drinking and showing off your new cooking skills. Then head out and cause some trouble in the bars.

BTW, I'm an excellent cook as well - I make a kick-ass New England Lobster boil.

April 22, 2009  
Blogger Kyle said...

STOP DRINKING AND DRIVNG!!! other than that you are a wonderful, funny, sexy great guy... just enjoy being you for a while...

April 22, 2009  
Blogger Beau RN said...

Cooking and working out and blah, blah, blah...normal, schmormal...snort. You're BrettCajun, just be you. The rest will fall into place.

Also, are you at least putting in someone, somewhere? What's the point, otherwise.

My word verification word is "hedonist". I don't consider that a coincidence for this post for you. Be one.

April 22, 2009  
Blogger Moby said...

Normal is overrated, however more to your point, you need to spend some time solo. You have a lot to offer prospective mates but until you resolve the conflicts within yourself, the drama will continue.

April 22, 2009  
Anonymous Christopher said...

I so agree with Kyle. Being a Gemini you cannot control everything with the evil twin and all. But don't drink then get behind the wheel of any vehicle. Single or coupled that is just plain Cajun Stupid.

April 22, 2009  
Blogger mikeinbama said...

Dickspot...LOL, you're crazy and I like it but I'm spoken for. My guy is on his way to the middle east to serve his country. I love cajun food and any chance someone can make it for me is a treat.

April 22, 2009  
Blogger Julius Seizure - Jim to my Peeps said...

Listen up - you do whatever it takes to either enjoy or end your singlehood your best judgement usually works BUT STOP DRIVING DRUNK. Getting smeared on the tennis court we can live with - getting your face smeared on the pavement of some road is just unacceptable.

Oh how can we stay mad at you?? But for Zods sake call a cab!!!

April 22, 2009  
Blogger Brent said...

Sorry have to go into Dad mode here...Don't Drive while inebriated...can you imagine what would happen to that beautiful face if it went through a windshield!!!!
Normal is boring, be whoever you are in the now...you will change over time, we all do, and just be happy with whoever that is...Don't change because you think others want you to change.

April 22, 2009  
Blogger dickspot said...

MIKE, I will serve You AND your BOO.

It makes no matter to me that you are Perfection Promised To Another.............

He is the Fortunate One !

I Just Want To Partake !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{{ Brett, I Love You Too...........}}

April 23, 2009  
Blogger Gooster said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

April 23, 2009  
Blogger Gooster said...

From the rumor's, I've heard about your "3 legged" problem! ;-) Like a pendulum, you went from one side to the other of the spectrum. Once you find the balance of who YOU are, happiness will be there waiting (and possibly that 4th "leg" you are talking about)! Some people run TO things, some people run FROM things. It is important to know WHY you are running!

P.S. Everybody is normal until you get to know them, so what truly is normal?

April 23, 2009  
Blogger WranglerMan said...

I am a new reader of your blog. First, thank you very much. I enjoy your adventures and comments. Best wishes and continued success with your training and tennis. As for singlehood, well, don't throw yourself away on the next Tom, Dick, or Harry who happens by. Hold out for someone special. He exists. But do not drive under the influence! You can destroy your life, if you ever get into an accident. And you can potentially destroy other lives.

Peace.

April 23, 2009  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

I think this is a great opportunity for you to learn some new hobbies, learn about yourself, be at peace with who you is.
And when you least expect it, you will stumble onto someone - this happens all the time.

As a collector of cookbooks I want to know 'which ones"

April 23, 2009  
Blogger Jim said...

Brett, take a big deep breath! Let it out slowly... You'll be fine. Just be your crazy, fun-loving, sexy self and you will find your place.

You need to get your ass up to Dallas and let me cook for you!

April 23, 2009  
Blogger Mark in DE said...

I think what you are going through is quite normal. After having lived many years as "we", you are now living as "I". Its new and different, and you are still determining how you want to live. I think your hectic pace will soon begin to settle down, allowing you to feel 'normal' again.

Enjoy cooking, and STOP driving when you're drunk. {{{Brett}}}

April 23, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a cute guy... but good lord do you ever post a picture of anything but yourself or talk about anything but yourself? I think your Mom should have given you a diary in 8th grade...maybe you would have been over the "me" stage by now. Stay cute and remember that there's a big world out there... explore and enjoy it.

April 23, 2009  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

Let me guess... the previous commenter was someone that played in the same tennis tournament (possibly a friend?) that didn't get mentioned? If that's the case, start your own damn blog so you can see an article about yourself. Jeez! A blog is supposed to be personal and about the person writing it. I will never simply regurgitate news I see all over the media. That's not blogging... that's regurgitating what other's have written.

April 23, 2009  
Blogger Mike said...

Well Brett, you have my attention and I am enjoying your blog. Talk away, I will be here to read,you are fun. Hugs, Mike and Glenn, studio city, ca

April 23, 2009  
Blogger Paul said...

When's dinner? I could be there in a couple of hours.

And you know good and well that I've always supported your tennis game!

April 23, 2009  
Anonymous Neil said...

Stop driving inebriated. It's about people's lives!

April 24, 2009  
Blogger Gary said...

Dear Anonymous - If you don't like what you read here, go elsewhere. I enjoy living vicariously through Brett, and being a fellow Gemini I get a kick out of his dual personality (my evil twin is just like him but I keep him closeted). I would not change a thing about this blog, I like getting my daily dose of (alternate) reality, and I REALLY love the nipple pictures, hee, hee.

April 24, 2009  
Anonymous Justin said...

I would be happy to drive you home Brett if I knew where to pick you up that way you wouldn't have to drive your drunk self home! I think "Normal Gay" is an oxymoron...just strive to be you! If you are messy and enjoy being messy, enjoy it! To hell with everyone that likes a pristine house that doesn't look lived in! Cooking is always good therapy. I don't know a man who wouldn't melt in your arms when presented with breakfast in bed, or a decadent desert...I really like "Cajun Men Cook" has some real recipes for real men. If you want good general cooking knowledge, "The Joy of Cooking" 1974 (or sometime in the 70's anyway) edition is great! The current edition isn't all that wonderful...unless your cooking aspirations end with competing with Stouffer's Microwave meals. Being single is great! Experience Freedom! Live! Live! Live!

April 24, 2009  
Blogger cb said...

Please tell me you aren't speaking of balance when there is a 20 foot tall image of you hovering above an escalator...

April 25, 2009  
Blogger Will said...

Please do not drink and drive. Not only are you likely to get arrested, you could end up hurting yourself or someone else.

April 25, 2009  
Blogger CJ/Rick said...

So you're a gay divorcee now. Hard to imagine. That life of a single man won't last long for you so enjoy.
Take care of yourself and don't be too foolish

May 02, 2009  

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