Thursday, April 09, 2009

Hissy Fit Agreement

I am quirky. You are quirky. We all possess something in our personality that annoys the fuck out of everyone. When we become intolerable, our friends have every right to call us on our shit and do an intervention. Oh, yes Marjorie... your noonie stinks too!

Recently, there was an intervention done to me. Sniff. Apparently, my local tennis buddies could no longer tolerate my competitive zeal on and off the court. They crafted a joint effort to fix my red wagon kill my ego for good.

My first sense that something was amiss was the condescending tone that was consistently displayed in person, via text messaging, and during phone conversations. They were all talking down to me! Grr... it annoyed me. Suddenly, all text messages and phone calls stopped. Houston, we have a problem!

The torpedo that would soon rip through my heart came via email. It was so well written, that it could have only been done by a committee. One by one, the words were daggers to my heart. I felt as if I were Julius Caesar stabbed 23 times during the Ides of March by fellow Roman senators. Et tu, Brute?

My initial reaction was rage. I had the usual wicked thoughts... Don't fuck with me fellas! I will hunt each of you bitches down and there will be hell to pay! If it's war you want, it's war you'll get! And that's why I should never be in charge of an army. EVER.

Rather than get temporary satisfaction from going all mega-bitch, I held my tongue. Do you know how hard it is for me?! I suffered with my fury in silence. A small part of my brain deemed it to be a good idea to sleep on it before I reacted. I agreed.

I am glad I did. I pieced together the sequence of events which led us to the brink of war, and I was able to see the error of my ways. So, I wrote an email response that was as close to an apology I could possibly muster. I also promised to curb my "Bwahaha... I just drubbed XYZ on the tennis court!" text messages.

My email must have ushered a new era of peace, because tennis matches were soon offered from two of the friends involved in this spat.

In fact, I played Tom last night and won 6-2, 6-3. The old Brett would have written... Aiieee! I sure impaled Whipping Boy's ass last night! How long is my winning streak against him now? But I have matured... so I didn't text or write that. ;)


Blogger Kyle said...

you look good in lavender.. but your ex looks a little green.
and if you are winning , you are winning.. maybe your play-mates too, are a little green?

April 09, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We reap what we sow.

April 09, 2009  
Blogger RG said...

Your friends were correct to call you on your bad behavior. It's hard to get a tennis match together, when no one wants to play with you, yes?

I may talk smack on the softball field, but if our team wins, I don't rub the opposing teams face in the dirt for their loss. In our league, bad sportsmanship is a BIG no-no. Umpires have thrown people out of a game for bad playing behavior.

Now, for the second part of your punishment, drop your jeans and bend over, you need a spanking. :)

April 09, 2009  
Blogger Ultra Dave said...

Maturing is a bitch! I likes it when I could getaway with bad behavior!

April 09, 2009  
Blogger mikeinbama said...

Humility goes a long way....kayne
You did the right thing :)

April 09, 2009  
Blogger Mathias N Oz said...

Yes, you are quirky... but not me... well.. except for that quirky gay thing.

April 09, 2009  
Anonymous CowboyinBRLA said...

Aw, don't worry Brett.... you'll be back in bitchy, shit-stirring, braggarty, overcompetitive form in no time.

Speaking of - come out this weekend, we're having a BYOFB cookout in the Garden District.

April 09, 2009  
Anonymous durban bud said...

Kanye Cajun?!?

Love it!

April 10, 2009  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Winning isn't everything, but losing sure sucks.

April 10, 2009  
Anonymous jimbo said...

I no longer play Jenga with Brett because of his overenthusiastic zeal.

April 13, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

do you sometimes think that you're really just 12?

April 13, 2009  
Anonymous Pantaloonies said...

Brett, get another fucking post up there pronto. The non-fawning BC-ites are coming outta the woodwork!

April 13, 2009  
Blogger Mark in DE said...

Really? They pulled a friend-tervention on your ass? Wow, you must have REALLY gotten annoying. Glad you wised up and started playing nicely again. Thanks for sharing.

April 14, 2009  
Blogger cb said...

you mean there's a difference between being competitive and showing poor sportsmanship?

Who'd a thunk it??

April 16, 2009  
Blogger glebeboi said...

Dont worry - It wasnt totally lost, I got u. ;-)
I dont generally follow the posts from bloggers & actually only started reading yours y'day after redirecting here from an old 'Large Tony' post that I'd kept.

However I like the way you present yr ideas, thoughts & relisations - and the new mature side of you.

I esp love how you 'sorta did -but didnt' apologise. Not to mention the psychology you used to display your new found 'mature you' by temporarily keeping quiet about your victory winnings.
Oh sure! you may have reduced the 'volume' locally by not gloating outloud about wiping Tom's arse off the courts in 2 straight sets - but what you lost locally by being quiet you certainly increased manyfold over by going global & telling us what you 'would have done' if you were still the old you. Why go 'LOCAL' - when with a lil effort & sacrifice you can go GLOBAL!!!

Dont f*ck with me bitches!!"
"I didnt text or write that"... he says. I just ...'emailed'... it for the world to read instead. Advantage server. Ace. Game. Set. But No Match! Bwahahaha. Next!!!

Certainly makes the taste of blood [from biting your tongue] not so bad after all, hey! :-)

August 18, 2009  

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