Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Dearest Marjorie:

What's that Marjorie? You have some criticism about me that you would like to discuss? Well pull up a chair, Hon! Now let me warn you that at the precise moment you go too far and cause me to catch the red ass, I advise to RUN or be prepared for a full verbal assault.

Ahh... so I am insufferable? OK. And what else? I put too many pics and videos of myself on this here blog? And you have a problem with that because of? Hmm... very interesting. What else? (rolling up sleeves) That Giving it Up for Lent video where I made love to a burrito was the stupidest thing you have ever seen? (cracking knuckles)

Well let me tell you something Marjorie... you ain't perfect either! I could wag my tongue all day long about what a quirky fuck you are. Hell, I feel like boxing your ears when you act all judgemental with your snooty big city attitude.

Let's talk about YOUR reputation. Oh yeah... we are going there! Honey, everybody knows you sleep with other people's husbands as often as you change your underwear. Gasp. Guess who we call "Suzy Homewrecker"? Yessss... that's you guuurl!

And let's talk about your granny panties. Where do you shop? At a K-Mart bargain bin? You buy your packs of 5 white briefs for $2 on a bluelight special? If someone chooses to cover their crown jewels with such plain jane and RATTY underwear, can we all assume that means there is nothing special underneath? Oh, I think so!

Next time you wish to discuss me, Marjorie, we'll talk about the time when I won the 2006 Mr. Bayou Grizzly Contest where 12,000 people jumped to their feet for sixteen and one-half minutes of uninterrupted thunderous ovation. And yes BITCH... flames illuminated my tear-stained face.

Ahem. Now that I have gotten that off my chest, we can now return to our regular scheduled programming...

24 Comments:

Anonymous jimbo said...

Me and TJ are the only people allowed to insult you. I'm gonna kick Marjorie's ass for moving in on my duties!

April 28, 2009  
Blogger mikeinbama said...

What the hell is going on? Did I miss something along the way?

Brett, keep doing your thing and be fierce doing it!

April 28, 2009  
Blogger Mike said...

OH SNAP!!!! Mike, studio city, ca

April 28, 2009  
Blogger Joe said...

Wow.

April 28, 2009  
Blogger Moby said...

When you get angry and lash out at people who make stupid or intentionally hurtful comments, you let them win by giving up control. You can be a bigger man than that my friend.

Btw, I actually had a very nice conversation about you with Rich this past weekend. *g* Feel better?

April 28, 2009  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

I try to hold my tongue, but goddamn it sometimes a bitch just needs a good reading!

April 28, 2009  
Blogger ryan charisma said...

I have three questions:

1 "big city attitude". what exactly is that? you've alienated me now.

2) I think tighty-whities are hot on the right guy. So, technically something special can/is underneath.

3) rather than tell someone off on your blog without giving everyone the benefit of knowing what hurt/insulted you is kind of mean. May I suggest, that you either: post whatever the hurtful e-mail/post and then your rebuttal or simply post the hurthful/e-mail/post and let us do the rebuttal in leu of you.

I'm just sayin'.

April 28, 2009  
Blogger Brettcajun said...

Ryan:

I am ranting against someone that recently told me these not-so-nice things about my blog in person. I chose not to go off on them then because we were in mixed company.

I decided to post this because I have heard the same complaints about my blog from others in the past. "Marjorie" in this post is a reference to an individual, but it can also be expanded to include many others who have bitched about my blog in the past.

A blog is a personal journal about the life of someone that can be shared through written stories, pictures, or video. The difference between a blog and a diary is that you get feedback from readers. This allows you to make meaningful friendships from sharing your life with others.

Rather than criticize me for putting pictures and videos of myself on my blog, praise me for not being a scaredy cat privacy freak.

My openness has encouraged others struggling with their homosexuality to come out. Or even better... reconsider committing suicide. My blog does way more good than it does harm. I know, because I get emails from others telling me how much I helped them come to terms with their homosexuality. And that makes it all worth it!

April 28, 2009  
Blogger Tony (LT) said...

Brett,

You're letting the terrorists win. Unless it's someone that is meaningful to you, let it roll off your back.

I get complaints all the time about being too much of a romantic and a momma's boy.

P.S. I wear multi-pack underwear, and what's underneath is DAMN special. ;-)

April 28, 2009  
Blogger cb said...

Who's marjorie??

April 28, 2009  
Blogger dickspot said...

HUSH NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{{{ how can y'all go on like this when Bea Arthur isn't even cold in the ground.......... and Brett, SHAME on you for not acknowledging ...............}}}

April 28, 2009  
Blogger Sean said...

Rant all you want! I'll listen and not judge.

April 28, 2009  
Blogger Gary said...

I'll say it again, I like your blog just the way it is. "It is the magic that is you".

April 28, 2009  
Anonymous Moncton said...

Let the opinions / discourse flourish! If you're comfortable with yourself, who cares what someone else says? And if not, maybe food for thought? It's fantastic that people get strength in coming to terms with being gay because of your blog. That's a real service. But don't be all indignant when people's comment on your photos aren't strictly praise and random 'woof's'. Or edit the comments.

April 28, 2009  
Blogger Ben said...

It's your blog... do what the fuck you want to.

But, this post was rather entertaining...I love a good hissy fit.

April 28, 2009  
Blogger Breenlantern said...

Ben beat me to it...your blog, your material and anyone who doesn't like it can f*ck of and fly away. You don't owe anyone explanations or apologies and if you choose to use this space to rant against someone, the more power to you. Unless I am some how Marjorie, of course, in which case f*ck you a**hole! *snicker*

April 28, 2009  
Blogger RG said...

Why do you let people get under your skin? Who cares what "Marjorie" thinks?

I love you Brett, in all your narcissistic glory, and I mean that in a good way.

Now go post some more shirtless pics of yourself.

April 29, 2009  
Blogger Curtis said...

I kinda like your blog. Shirtless pictures, quirky videos, and all.

April 29, 2009  
Blogger Blobby said...

Well who doesn't love a good Julia Sugarbaker reference? And no, I didn't even have to look it up. I knew it immediately.

April 29, 2009  
Blogger Mark in DE said...

Maybe you can add this P.S. to your reply to Marjorie:
"Um, Marjorie dear, remember that this is NOT the Times-Picayune, it is my blog where I choose the photos, videos, and text. Now crawl back under your rock and shut the f*ck up. Have a nice day."

April 29, 2009  
Blogger Rich said...

who the fuck is this Marjorie bastard? And why does her haggy, Ann Coulterlike opinion matter anyway? Don't like the blog? Then kindly fuck off. The Paul Anka appreciation site is just one click away. go there.

May 01, 2009  
Blogger FXOffroad said...

You can't seriously be bothered by the small-minded opinions of others, can you? Sounds like Marjorie's simply jealous. And its easy to judge others, rather than take a look at ones' self. Marjorie clearly is afraid of the mirror.

I may give you grief, about your matchy-matchy tennis outfits... but that's only because I simply could never look as good as you in them. (Yellow isn't my color.)

I have to believe Marjorie simply could never ever stand in your shoes - not only would she not look good, but her truth would be exposed and that simply wouldn't be pretty.

You have this amazing ability and talent to stand in your integrity, share it with the world. Something not many would do.

May 03, 2009  
Blogger GaymerGuru said...

Brett.... one little phrase you should always use...

I just spoke with GOD and he thinks you're an asshole... now heads are gonna roll

May 06, 2009  
Anonymous jeff said...

and Yes my dear, that is the night the lights went out in Georgia.

Your blog is great and sometimes a good rant is better than anything.

You have a friend in Iowa.

May 21, 2009  

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