Monday, March 16, 2009

SPECIAL HANDLING REQUIRED

It has been seven whole days. I am still single. I feel like the ugly duckling no one wants. I recognize my specialness on the meat market. I am like alligator tail steak sirloin. Exotic. For adventurous souls only. Requires special handling.

I have this growing awareness that I am "special". Quite frankly, I am treated differently by others. In my peripheral vision, it is not uncommon for me to see friends point at me and twirl their index fingers around in a circular pattern.

Or I am greeted as if I were a child. They change the way they talk and say, "Well... hiiiii Brett... are you having a good day or a bad day?" When group introductions are done, I am always introduced last. They will typically say, "This is Brett... he's our special buddy." They exchange knowing glances and winks. I have a wonderful bunch of friends. Sniff.

Do you know that the Shrew actually gave me a sippy cup once because I had a habit of spilling drinks? Yes. It's true. I fill the glass up too high, miss my mouth, and it just pours down on my shirt. He should have gotten me a bib too.

I recognize that I am special. I do have childlike qualities even at 38 years old. I find myself walking around the kingdom of singlehoodness as if I were a baby fawn just being weaned from their mother.

All I truly want is to be loved. As I find my way in this brave new world, that is my mission. There will surely be some stumbles, but I have no choice but to continue moving gayly forward.

23 Comments:

Anonymous Oscillium said...

Pretty damn funny. I am same. Just embrace it (whatever being you is) and others will too.

March 16, 2009  
Anonymous Neil said...

Oh my God. Looks like you're feeling down. What can I do to help you? Your "All I truly want is to be loved" rips my heart to pieces. Hey, hang in there. You have me and you have all of us. YOU ARE LOVED!

March 16, 2009  
Blogger Joe said...

This is my favoritest of all your posts. *big hug*

Being special is...well...special. In grade school you get your own bus and everything!

March 16, 2009  
Blogger mikeinbama said...

Brett,

You're adorable but I think you need to take some time off and not jump back into the dating pool without your water wings.

You're still the most handsome guy in all the blog world.

P.S. Do another video so I can hear that sweet southern cajun accent again.

March 16, 2009  
Blogger dickspot said...

The sippy cup was uncalled for........... you're better off without that (.... and you called ME a dickhead ! )

Brettster, the good news is you've already moved into the second stage of grief - Anger. Unfortunately you still need to work through Bargaining and Depression before you achieve the final stage, Acceptance.

You will. And you will come out a stronger Man on the other end.

March 16, 2009  
Blogger DanNation said...

Become good at being with yourself. It will make your next relationship a smashing success. Also, don't look too hard and before you know it, someone will walk into your life when you least expect it.

Boy, I sound like a Hallmark card, don't i?

March 16, 2009  
Blogger Vixemale said...

I think your special... maybe not it the same way you have described... You are loved... If not by all your readers, you are,at the very least, loved by me.

March 16, 2009  
Blogger ERICK SOLORZANO said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

March 16, 2009  
Blogger Richard said...

sugarpie, 38 here too, and been single for 5 yrs - whaddya do?

I know it sucks, but baby steps. Hold your sippy...

March 16, 2009  
Blogger RG said...

Honey, welcome to my world. With the exception of two people, ALL my friends are coupled/married/shacking up. Whenever I go over to their houses for a gay-gaggle-gathering it's like being among the Pod People, only no one wants to take over my body, but they still point and let out that high-pitched scream.

So get your ass on that short bus. At least you get your own seat.

March 17, 2009  
Blogger FXOffroad said...

Totally agree.: "...What was it they said about Scarlett O’Hara - They might flirt with girls like her, but they never marry them! Scarlett honey, grow up. Why would anyone contemplate a serious relationship with someone who spends his whole life flirting and begging for others lust, affection and now sympathy?..."

When does your life (and your future or ex partner's life) become private and not shared with your blog fans? Celebrity blogger more important than love?

You seem like a good guy and perhaps there is that special someone who will ride with you along the internet highway.

You're like that cute puppy you see at the pet store... cute to hold, fun to touch, fun on the ride home and then reality sets in as you piss all over the floor and someone has to pick up your poop.

March 17, 2009  
Blogger FortWorthGuy said...

Do not think of yourself as single, you are just "between affairs" right now. Come to Fort Worth and end your misery!

March 17, 2009  
Anonymous jimbo said...

Think of yourself as a frozen semen sample in cold storage ready for artificial insemination, rather than a hot slice of gator steak. If your friends are treating you like a child then you need to act like a frozen semen sample as well: COLD.

March 17, 2009  
Blogger Ice John's World said...

There is nothing wrong of being special! Be who you are and the right one for you will come along soon!

March 17, 2009  
Blogger Moby said...

Peaches ~ I love you but knowing what you told me in the past, I have to call you out a bit. While you are not responsible for Shrews behavior, you are responsible for yours. You need to take some responsibility for putting yourself in this situation w/Shrew in the first place.

We all want to be loved. Perfectly natural. Now is the time for you to take some time and determine what it is exactly you want in a relationship. Of course, the other side of that coin is can you offer the same qualities/traits in return.

Welcome to life 101 my friend.

*hugs*

March 17, 2009  
Blogger Atari_Age said...

Keep this up for too long, mister, and I will not let you live it down. But I know you wont be that bad. Go put your butt out there on manhunt or the bars or whatever. Sew the oats.

March 17, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brett... just ignore the assholes that are trying to give you a hard time. Everyone knows what the problems were. I am surprised you put up with it this long!

March 18, 2009  
Blogger Ravel said...

You have the right to be a baby, (or to feel like one): you're as sad as one at the moment. Grief is rough, makes you feel like a baby, but you're not.
Let go of the stupid people that play with your sadness or anger. They know too well what you feel and when they are not in that situation, they live as it never existed. But thry still hurt, son they don't want to hear bout your hurt, it brings back theirs!
Last: at 42, not tall glass or bottle is allowed in front of me... i'll bang on it! So, you're not alone (though I'm far...)
Take care. A better man will love you better...

March 19, 2009  
Anonymous Iceism said...

Dickspot can have his crush on Mikeinbama. I think I am love with Ravel

March 19, 2009  
Blogger dickspot said...

EEWWWWW !!!!!!!!

{{ at least we don't have to fight......}}

March 19, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't fight, he's taken.

March 20, 2009  
Blogger (F)redddy said...

I think you're special, but not in a "special" way, in a way to cool way. Keep yer chin up.

March 21, 2009  
Blogger Mark in DE said...

Hey, at least when you're housecleaning you don't have to clean up somebody else's mess!

You ARE special! And adorable.

April 02, 2009  

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