The Truth Shall Set You Free!

You may be surprised to learn that my cell phone is very unassuming. There are no pink rhinestones adorning the front. I can't even check my reflection out on the back side. My Nokia 2610 has everything that I really need in a phone. I can read email, check football scores, and update my Face Book page.

Just this past Saturday, I thought I finally found a great excuse for getting the Apple iPhone. While my other half was living in his other world, I had to find something to do. So, I met some buds and we spent the afternoon walking around the Faubourg Marigny with a young couple that had just moved to New Orleans.

It was at the trashy Phoenix bar, that I had a divine revelation. A guy named Chris took a particular interest in me. He was determined to engage me in conversation because I was being quiet. When Chris found out that I am an avid tennis player, he chuckled in disbelief. He couldn't see it. Chris said I looked more like a lumber jack. I forgave him for stereotyping me. After all, I was wearing my tight fitting brown Texas shirt, a baseball cap, and a furrier-than-usual beard.

It was at this exact moment that I had a bright idea. I was determined to prove that I was not some brutish lumberjack incapable of being articulate! I promptly borrowed a friend's iPhone to show Chris my blog. He arched one eyebrow. I could see the wheels in his head turning. The fog was lifting before his eyes to reveal the luminous aura of my true self.

I didn't stop there. I wanted Chris to be further enlightened, so had the genius idea of going directly to my You Tube page. As Chris watched my most popular videos on the iPhone, his eyes lit up in what I thought was pure wanderlust.

When he finally took his eyes away from the screen, he cast a steely gaze my way. I saw a tear suddenly appear. Chris was not sitting next to a lumberjack afterall. He was sitting next to someone quite insane! Abruptly, he moved his bar stool two feet away from me.

It took me just three minutes to ruin the lumberjack facade. I apologized to Chris and promptly gave the iPhone back to it's rightful owner. This is precisely why I cannot own such a technological marvel. I must protect others from the true identity of being "brettcajun". The truth shall set you free.