It may surprise you, but I am a spiritual person. Being spiritual feels good to my soul. It brings me to a peaceful place when times get rough. There is a comfort there that is hard to describe. Having a belief in God feels much like being in the comfort of the womb to where I was once protected.
I know it's trendy among homosexuals to profess to not believe in God. I can understand the resentment built up against organized religion. Who wants to be where they are not wanted? Nowadays, you'll only find me in Church if there is a wedding or a funeral.
But it hasn't shakened my faith. I couldn't imagine living in a world without him. God listens when there is no one else around. He knows my inner most thoughts, feelings and secrets. I feel that God is always showing me the right path. If only I paid attention to the clues sooner, I would eventually find my way.
With that said, I honestly felt that God taught me a great lesson last night. It is true that my need to win has been quite the bane to my existence. It defines me as a person when it shouldn't. Losing just crushes my spirit. Let me tell you, I have had my spirit crushed so many times in tennis lately.
While my peers were all having some degree of success with their Lady partners, I was losing every match with Elaine. I am one of the strongest players in the men's league, yet I was failing miserably in the mixed doubles league. I had been beaten so many times into submission that I no longer felt the pangs of losing anymore. I had become numb to the pain. I dare say that I reached a point where winning no longer mattered to me. GASP! Blasphemy!
When I finally reached that point where I would be at peace whether I won or loss, Elaine and I pulled a miracle win. We made a spectacular comeback after the other team had three match points in the second set. It was as if Angels were guiding our racquets and blowing wind beneath our feet.
We are now sporting a 1-5 record in the league and I am actually quite proud of it. Hallelujah! :)