Friday, June 06, 2008

One Brave Soul

Sometimes in the course of human events, one brave soul must rise up against the tyranny of another. When one person exerts his foot on the neck of others, his rule often goes unchallenged. One brave soul must take charge with the confidence of a stallion that he will return to glory and defeat said foe.

Dear folks, today I enter battle once again with a court nemesis who has been a bane to my tennis career. God has Satan. I have him. Though I have beaten this dastardly foe before, Monte has severely put a dent on what would be my glorious record.

Last week was a triumph for the little guy. The utter desperation in my opponent's eyes will forever be etched and cherished in my mind. I owned his ass on the court that day and he couldn't wiggle his tail out of it this time!

Monte's beaten down ego shattered into a million pieces on that fateful day. I couldn't help but smile down at the sparkling pieces strewn all over the court. The angels sang that night. I drank wine with friends and we celebrated the glorious miracle of that victory!

Alas, our last two matches have not been kind to me. I put up a valiant effort, but it was not enough. My opponent was one stubborn jack ass that refused to break when I had him at Deuce time and time again. I couldn't impose my will. And you should know that I have to impose my will. Or else.

Please don't cry for me. Not that you would. Napoleon never got a river of tears either. He too accomplished victory, but he was susequently exiled, imprisoned and poisoned by the British on a tiny island in the end. But I digress.

As God is my witness, I declare that this day will be different! I have a fleeting memory of what victory tastes like. The blood in my veins are filled with an ecstasy like none other. It thoroughly intoxicates me. I hunger for more... like a two bit crack whore.

Know this gentle readers: nothing will make me prouder than to walk around with the head of my enemy on a pike tonight. I'll beam with pride as I carry it around the spooky swamp infested nether world where I lay.


Blogger Hotrod said...

Good luck man!!! May your racket be swift. May your feet be quick. May your balls be... Fuzzy.

June 06, 2008  
Blogger Paul said...

Get the chicken bones out of your throat. I'm sure that's what is making you choke.

June 07, 2008  

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