Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The Cantankerous Old Crawfish


Let me step up on my soap box with my bullhorn so you fine folks can clearly hear me. I flat out REFUSE to accept my death march to 40 on Sunday. I will NOT be turning 38 years old. It is not even an age I feel anything REMOTELY close to. You can give my age to Patrick and DD. They are more deserving.

With my good Cajun genes and nothing else I swear, I am a fairly youthful appearing man. I have never smoked. I drink only sparingly. I really haven't had a rough life other than being "gay". It is simply not my time to turn 38. I refuse. So, I am choosing to stop at the respectable age of "37" from here on out.

Any whispers to the contrary will be appropriately dealt with in a swift and most CRUEL manner. Oh yes... we all know I can be one vindictive bitch! Who is scared of fatty pics? Uh huh. I thought so. Cracking knuckles. I am so glad we have this understanding.

Ten years into the future... "Hi. My name is Brett. I am 37 years old. And you are?"

16 Comments:

Blogger Lacey said...

You're so gay

June 11, 2008  
Blogger cb said...

Wait until you are facing 39... I am totally dreading it. I think the 9's are the hardest ones- as it symbolizes the last year of that decade of life.

June 11, 2008  
Blogger TonkaManOR said...

Please what a bunch of crybabies. I'm looking at 47 in a month and you don't see me shaking in my socks (not wearing shoes right now), crying in my milk, etc. Its just a number. If you don't acct your age (brett)no one will know.

Besides Brett, your crows feet give your age away...

June 11, 2008  
Blogger bandit said...

What's the point of creating the bear retirement community from a few posts back if you're never gonna be old enough to use it? Hugs...

June 11, 2008  
Blogger Gooster said...

FYI, even with you lying about your age, I am still younger! LOL!

June 11, 2008  
Blogger Ryan Charisma said...

it's not how old you are,

it's how old you look.

get it?

good, now go moisturize.

June 11, 2008  
Blogger jeremy said...

Not 38, but twenty-eighteen!

So much better that way.

June 11, 2008  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Didn't you turn "37" for the first time several years ago?


(And damn, I don't have any fatty pictures of you, just the....well, you know which ones I'm talking about.)

June 11, 2008  
Blogger Lewis said...

Oh for god's sake....just call me Daddy! Happy 21st.

June 11, 2008  
Blogger Kezza said...

Who would ever dare accuse you of being 38? Thats just crazy talk. Perhaps you should adopt my sister's approach. She manages two birthdays a year (after six months most people can't remember if they attended your last birthday six or twelve months ago)and she has turned 37 a couple of times and has just decided to start turning 38. Nobody knows she's actually *gasp* 42.

June 11, 2008  
Anonymous Sorata said...

We can donate ages now? Well, why don't you say so? I'll auction it out and get some money for the charity while I'm at it.

June 11, 2008  
Blogger Timmy said...

Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter. -Satchel Paige

June 11, 2008  
Blogger Moby said...

You are older than me? OMG! Practically ancient.

June 12, 2008  
Blogger Hirsute polyamorous bear said...

It just gets better and better, BC. I just turned 46 on Monday, and I am the happiest I've ever been in my life. It just keeps unfolding ...

June 12, 2008  
Anonymous Jack N hampster said...

You do realize that I will be turning 52 this year...

I think that we don't really start to look decent until 45

June 12, 2008  
Blogger Lee said...

Hey, youngster! I'll be 48 in July but have been claiming either 39 or 25 for a few years now so don't feel bad!

June 13, 2008  

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