The Battle for my Personality
Being a Gemini and a full blooded Cajun with ADD gives me a bouncy personality that all of you love to hate. I am just too much sometimes. Too much emotions. Too much a smartass. Too much attention loving. Too much shit stirring. Too much.
Well, I have decided to cage some of that personality up a bit and go back on Adderall XR. It was not an easy choice. I had to weigh the pro's and con's and see what was the most important to me at this moment. In the past, I had some very good reasons for trying it and equally good reasons for going off of it. But Adderall XR seems to be exactly what I need right now.
The side effects on me are noticeable. I do tend to be a tad meaner than usual. What I used to let pass, I now confront. Adderall toughens me up a bit. For example, on Sunday I did threaten to drop kick my partner when he pissed me off. He says he was just making a joke. My Adderall XR had me ready to whoop some ass.
It also tends to zap some creativity out of me. I noticed that right off the bat. I used to be able to rattle off a blogpost within minutes. Adderall bounds and gags my inner Gemini and says "THAT POST IS FOR BABIES!" Yeah, it puts away the child and brings forward the more serious adult. That means that sassy DBud is going to continue to drub me in the ratings. Ugh.
Rest assured that Adderall will not change my thinking or feelings. I will still love my friends, my partner, and my Dachshunds. What social stimulations I once needed on a daily basis, no longer feel absolutely necessary. I'll still do nip tugs when I see you, but I'll probably be more picky. If you never gave me a fanny pat, for example, then I may choose to not continue the one-sided foreplay in the bars. Adderall helps me keep track now! :)
Look on the brightside: Some of you may love the ramped up butchness! Or take glee in my high maintenance personality subdued. Or dare I say... welcome the sudden maturity?