Friday, March 28, 2008

I AM THE TURD!


We all have our station in life. In the tennis world, I am the shit. There are exactly 69 players in my local men's league. Guess who is sitting at #1 in the Top Ten posted on the league's website? It's meeee! Weeeee!

That's right Debbie Downers and Doubting Thomases... I am 4-0 in league tennis matches. Overall, they count every single game won or loss that make up those individual matches. So, my .700 winning percentage comes from having a 50-21 record.

I was not scheduled to play last night, but I showed up on the court just to scream "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!" at Whipping Boy. Because someone didn't show up, my team needed a sub. I was placed in a doubles match with three very good players. Gulp. This was going to be much stiffer competition than I had been playing. I worried about my winning percentage, but it really didn't matter. I still whooped ass with my doubles partner Paul 6-0, 4-6, 6-1. WOOHOO!

My legs, aggressive net bullying, lobs, and hard ground strokes helped my team win. Afterwards, the person who is right behind me at #2 in the Top Ten wanted to know our score. I could see the wheels in his head spinning with math. Too bad that I am a cold calculating bitch. I had already figured out that even if he had won 6-0, 6-0, I would still have a scant better winning percentage.

For one more week, I will have a bulls-eye squarely on my back with 68 other competitors. That's fine. This position suits me perfectly. :)

6 Comments:

Blogger TonkaManOR said...

So your Bullseye moved North?

March 28, 2008  
Blogger mikeinbama said...

I had a league match last night and my captain had me play doubles with a guy I had never played with. We got off to a horrible start losing 6-1 in the first set. But we rallied and won the next two sets 6-3,6-4. I was pleased with my play because I hate having to practice.

I know you enjoy the competition as much as I do. Good luck in your upcoming matches.

March 28, 2008  
Blogger Gooster said...

Sorry, but tag you’re it. Friday MEME Fodder
http://goostersd.blogspot.com/2008/03/friday-meme-fodder.html

March 28, 2008  
Blogger Victor said...

69 is such a nice number too.

March 28, 2008  
Anonymous Jeff said...

I think we should get Homer into Tennis. He's spending way too much time with his cats.

March 28, 2008  
Anonymous Heath said...

Hi Brett...Congratulations man...Sounds like you are doing great with your tennis. I am 4-3 for my record this season with the USTA league....we still have 5 weeks left so i am shooting for a 9-3 season....Keep up the good work!

March 29, 2008  

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