Open Letter to Madonna
I pledge my undying devotion and love for everything you represent. I would give every penny in my possession if you asked me to. Your brightness in our world has been a beacon of hope for many of us. I have worshipped at your altar since I was a little boy.
You have earned the right to be the most famous musician this planet has ever known. The history of the Universe will have you immortalized as the most famous musician in all of God's creation. You deserve it.
As your humble servant, it would give me great pride to watch you outshine faux divas Mariah, Janet, and Whitney in 2008. Watching you send those bitch hags tumbling down the Billboard Charts would drive me to sheer ecstasy.
You will always and forever be my only Diva. You rule my world.