Wednesday, February 28, 2007

My Scruff

Monday, February 26, 2007

The Pressure to Win

I feel like that little girl in Little Miss Sunshine. You know... where you go up on stage in an ordinary bathing suit your Mama bought you from WalMart when your competition looks like slick high priced hookers? Yes. That's the same feeling I am having right now.

The Austin tennis tourny is quickly approaching and I am not prepared. Over the weekend, I lost a doubles AND a singles match. My competition was slicker, more skilled, and had higher stamina than I did. I had this sick feeling in my gut that I wasn't even in the same league as these guys. While they are playing for three hours every week in league play and several more times during the week, I am playing a more casual game with Whipping Boy and E.Shrew. The competition is not the same.

I am not ready for this fast approaching tournament. I'll probably be knocked out in the first round in humiliating fashion. It feels like I am the College of Charleston in the NCAA March Madness Tournament going up against Duke. I feel a predictable blow out coming.

So what am I doing about it? My first impulse was to back out of the tournament and save myself from embarrassment. Then that little old thing called PRIDE swelled up and nixed that idea. I went to spinning class this afternoon for 45 grueling minutes under the leadership of the resident female Nazi spinning instructor. I will get my stamina up. I will shed at least 5 pounds to give me a fighting chance in hustling after balls. Everyday after work, I am going to get on that tennis court and work on my serve. I am going to work on my serve if I have to practice hitting the ball 10,000 times in the next two weeks. My accuracy rate and speed has to improve!

I hate participating in anything that I don't have a chance to win. Losing is for losers. I am going there to make an impact. I want to rock the bracket and pull off upsets. I am going to get fired up and be competitive. When my back is up against a wall, I muster all my strength and fight back hard. This is one of those times.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

I am growing a beard

I am tired of my "baby goatee" (as Adam once put it). I want to grow up, be a man stud, and look like my hero Homer. What you see here is only 6 days old. Pardon my big nose. Photo Booth makes my nose look HUGE! Hmm... I wonder what that does for Slab? Ahem... where was I? Oh yeah... I have never had a beard before. I tried to grow a beard a month ago after hanging out with the likes of Rich from Dallas, but sadly I had a "shaving accident". Let's hope I do better the second time around. I have some very opinionated "friends" that let me know consistently when I am too pudgey (which is almost always). So, I am sure the peanut gallery will let me know "HOT" or "NOT HOT" soon enough.

There is no "I" in TEAM

E.Shrew and I played Brian D. and Kevin yesterday in doubles. For not playing very many doubles matches, I thought E.Shrew and I did pretty well considering. There were no arguments with each other. I didn't scream at him for hitting yet another "homerun" shot way out. He didn't scream at me for hitting the net again. As a team, we LOST 6-4, 6-0.

Today, I am playing Brian D. in singles at 9am this morning. Brian is the one that bounced me out of the Houston tournament. He beat me again in Dallas in December. Well, today is going to be the day that I bring his winning streak against me to an end. Afterall, there is no "I" in TEAM. I am solely responsible for every point my opponent gets. I am solely responsible for the adjustments I must make. It is my back that will be against the wall when Brian is trying to spin the ball on me. It is up to me to fight back hard and serve up some whoopass of my own. There is no "I" in TEAM, but there sure is a couple "I's" in W I N N I N G. Stay tuned for results...

Saturday, February 24, 2007

In Houston, Tx today ya'll...

We drove in to Houston late last night under some very windy conditions. Our mission here this weekend is to partake in intense tennis training. We'll get some action against two very formidable opponents that'll be in our Austin tourny bracket in Singles and Doubles. Brian D. and Kevin have played in a ton of tournaments in the last 12 months. They have to be two favorites to win in either singles or doubles in our class. It'll be an excellent tune up for me and the Shrew. After we find out if we are great or if we plain ass suck, Coach Tim will get his hands on us to surely let us know that we still have LOTS to learn. This will serve as a "working weekend" all in hopes that we don't embarrassingly get bounced out the Austin tourny early. We do hope to see Matt (Mark and Brian's friend) and Dean (blogger at Some Say Love... I Say Envy) at some point while we are here.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Two fat broads just screamed at me...

"SLOW DOWN!" I had just zoomed by them in my Nissan Pathfinder as I was driving home at 40 mph. It was dark around the neighborhood, but I didn't think I was driving that fast. I guess my mind was on other things. I remember thinking... "Damn... was I driving that fast?" Everybody in my family drives fast. Something about coming from a racing family will do that to you!

I contemplated the message "SLOW DOWN". Hmm... sometimes God is always trying to tell me something. Maybe that was a clear message to me. See... I always seem to be in turbo mode steamrolling through life. I always keep a lot on my plate (figuratively and literally). I have chickens and my dogs to take care of, a new job that combined two positions into one, a tennis tourny coming up that I am OCDing over by playing lots of tennis, a constant need to workout, a house to take care of, a weekend social life (translation: barfly), a book I am writing, my button pushing blog persona, and being taxed just trying to keep up with E.Shrew.

I feel like I am running through life faster and faster before something catches up with me. What is that? Old age? A boring life? Why am I always on the go? How many damned trips am I going to go on?!?! Why do I constantly keep myself strung out?

I feel like I walk around multi-tasking in my head a slew of agendas before me at all times. I want so badly to excel in one or the other, but I have too many to possibly make that happen. So, I drive myself crazy trying to be good at everything I want to be good in. Sometimes, I am stumbling around dropping my keys, losing my cell phone or being absent minded with the simplest of tasks because my brain is filled with so many To Do's.

I just can't ever imagine my life as a simple routine. Is this normal behavior for a 36 year old? Does it help me fight off Alzheimers if I am always thinking and strategizing? Or is it driving me straight into insanity?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Mardi Gras Day

After five straight days of celebrating Mardi Gras in New Orleans, I am "beered out". It was a ton of fun. I didn't even get in trouble. That's hard for me to do since Mardi Gras is like a humongous adult playground. Thank goodness for good communication with my partner. Cheers to a wonderful Mardi Gras!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

The Pic I took:This picture of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie was taken right after noon on Sunday in New Orleans. E.Shrew just screamed at me... "COME HERE! It's Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! They are walking this way!" I ran onto E.Shrew's balcony in the French Quarter with my camera. Sure enough! It was them. We were looking right at them coming toward the balcony. Angelina glanced up and smiled. They are BEAUTIFUL in person! WOW! I didn't know what to do. Should I dare try to take their picture, or should I respect their privacy? I started to panic with indescison. I look down at my Canon SD 600 digital camera, and groaned when I realized that I did not have a memory card in it. I quickly fetched it and took a pic of them from behind. Wow... the most famous pic I have ever took on my blog! They were walking around with their kids. Other people and cars were passing and gawking just as much as we were. For those who don't know, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt live in the French Quarter with their kids. In fact, they live on the same street as E.Shrew. Wow. This brightened my day.

I got a staggering number of hits on my blog from fans of this lovely couple. I combed the internet and found this pic online from New Orleans. I found it on this website.

Mardi Gras Sunday

Our favorite stripper
Joe the Mexican and "Mr. T"
Balcony at Oz (Bourbon and St. Ann)

The hunkiest stripper at the Bourbon Pub

Saturday, February 17, 2007

New Orleans is thriving during Mardi Gras

Mardi Gras in New Orleans

Just some crazy folks in need of deep therapy...Krewe of Iris rolling on Canal Street this afternoon.

I was pelted with beads.
On the balcony at the Bourbon Pub at 3pm today.
Some more crazy folks around Carnival...Isn't he famous in New York City?
Where I like to be...

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Boudreaux and Pierre with Daddy

These are my favorite snuggle buddies. Sure... they wake my ass up at 3am sometimes because they need to go outside, but I still love them. Boudreaux and Pierre have brought me great happiness over the last few years. They are like warm little teddy bears that are alive.

Back on TOP

Yesterday afternoon marked my third straight tennis victory. I had played E.Shrew and Evil Twin brother in a "tournament style" play over the weekend and won handily. How do we play our tournament? We play winner stay up... and the first one to win 10 games "wins the "tourny". After that victory snapped a two game losing streak, I then waxed Whipping Boy 6-3, 6-3 in consecutive sets. Yesterday, E.Shrew and Whipping Boy were my tournament foes. I won pretty easily: 10 wins (Me), 3 wins (E.Shrew), 1 win (Whipping Boy).

So, I am back on TOP of my game. I hope to play some singles and doubles matches while in New Orleans celebrating Mardi Gras. I am traveling to Houston next weekend for stroke lessons with my excellent tennis coach Tim. I also hope to play Brian D. on Saturday and Sunday. He is the guy that knocked me out of the Houston tournament last year. We played again in Dallas a couple months ago, and Brian D. barely squeaked by. Will the third or fourth time be the charm? I count Brian D. as a good barometer because he has to be the favorite in our class for the upcoming Austin Tournament.

Three weeks to go until Austin. I need to get off my lazy ass and start doing cardio pretty much everyday. My goal is to drop 8 pounds of belly fat. I want to be lean and MEAN for the Austin Tournament. I can't hustle on the court when I got this much jiggly stuff around my midsection!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Are you full of Mr. Hanky?

Don't you hate it when some people are just plain ass full of shit? You know the type. They name drop people they associate with who you are supposed to admire. They tell you obscure stories about what they are working on, yet somehow you don't believe them because they never show proof. Why do they have this need to make up shit about themselves? Are they wishing that their life was much more fabulous than it really is? What is the source of the need to make up shit about yourself? Do you come from the Land of Potatoes or somewhere worse? What's up with all the smoke and mirrors? Don't you realize that ultimately you are not fooling anyone? People start raising questions and comparing notes. Pretty soon you are known as a "bullshit artist" or worse... a LIAR. Is that really a great label to have on your back? Think about it.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Dallas Trip in Review

I was pensive about this trip to Dallas. E.Shrew has never met my blogger friends before. Would he embrace them? Would they love him as much as I do? This was going to be one of those interesting weekends where you learn a thing or two about the blog universe and the real world. I knew something would be revealed in some form or fashion this weekend.

After my third trip to Dallas, in less than two months, I can safely vouch that Mark and Brian are real. In fact, they are more than real. They are very normal guys that you can do anything with and feel as comfortable with as someone you have known all your life. We had no trouble assimilating with them and their friends. In fact, it felt like we had been friends for many years. That is what is great about them. They are not pretentious one bit. Mark and Brian are genuinely very nice people. I was thrilled that E.Shrew REALLY liked them as much as I did.

Their new friend Stephen is a sweet guy who accompanied us most of the time. You can tell a lot about someone by how others treat them. Around town and in the bars, there are plenty people that hold them in high regard... you can see it in their faces. Every friend I have met of Mark and Brian is a nice individual. That is a testament to how great they truly are.

Chronological Breakdown of Weekend:

On Friday, we ate at this wonderful Mexican restaurant named "Mia's" and then went out to Roundup. We were amazed how hunky the men were at Roundup. Soon, Jeff (gayborhood gringo), Adam and Darin showed up. This is when my shortness became a big talking point. I never think about it honestly. Thank you Darin for giving me another complex!

Saturday was a day to go shopping with the boys. We each bought something, and then saw the very funny NORBIT. We laughed so hard. A VERY GOOD MOVIE! Afterwards, we napped some and headed to the American Cafe for a lighter dinner. Back to Mark and Brian's to watch LITTLE BRITAIN... oh my gawd... that show is SOOOO wrong! Then we went out to the Rose Room at S4 (captured in many pics here and other blogs) and back to Roundup. We had loads of fun.

On Sunday, we rested half the day before heading out to the Black Eyed Pea and the Hidden Door. I got to meet someone who I hadn't seen in over 5 years from the Shreveport area. That was a nice surprise. It was also a nice surprise to see some handsome guys I had seen in previous visits to Dallas. All I can say... is WOOF!

We left Dallas this morning feeling great about a wonderful weekend. Thank you Mark, Brian, and Max for hosting us. You guys are the best! Thanks Adam for all the fun merriment. It was a thrill to see you do the dance to the "Time Warp" song. It was also great to see how hard your manly pecs and biceps were! Thanks Jeff for being just the prettiest thing west of the Mississippi. Thanks Darin for giving me complexes about being short, my accent, shoes, and having a pudgey gut. Blah to you.

Pictures DO tell 1,000 words...

Us with the sexiest air mattress we know
The moment when the Snarky One informs me that I am a "Pocket Faggot" is captured on film.

I think Jeff is threatening to choke Adam here if he takes one more picture or does one more video capture.

Hmm... can we get away with a smoke while Brian is away?

Who told Max I liked it Doggie Style?

Jenny Craig Anyone?

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Saturday Night at Rose Room

Adam, Snarky One, and Brett
Adam spontaneously breaks out in dance anytime "TIME WARP" song blares


Maya looking beautiful. I can only bow to her beauty.

When Darin see's how much money Maya is getting, he instantly wants to become a drag queen too!