An Epic Asswhooping on the Horizon?

I asked my tennis coach Tim if I had a fighting chance against a player rated "4.0". Coach Tim bluntly replied back that I was going to get my ass whooped! Apparently, I rate myself WAY BETTER than Coach Tim does. We wrangled over whether I was a 3.0 or 3.5 player. Hmpfh! Is Coach Tim a hater too?

I guess I shouldn't have thrown down a challenge to Coach Tim on that fateful day. I was cranky from two hours of exhausting tennis lessons. I was tired of being told I wasn't listening or doing it right. I got so pissed off, I immediately demanded that Coach Tim play me. Whoops. BIG MISTAKE! He soundly destroyed his grasshopper with an evil grin the whole way. I think he secretly loved the fight in me though! ;)

I am hoping that my younger age will give me an advantage since the heat index has been very high over the last few days. If I can win the battle of fatigue in the second and third sets, I stand a fighting chance. I must somehow find out my opponent's weaknesses and try to cover mine. If my opponent has no weakness, this will truly be an asswhooping of epic proportions! Stop drooling you bastards.

I must now draw inspiration from individuals I truly admire. Voltaire! Machiavelli! Sun Tzu! Please give me the mental fortitude to dissect my enemy combatant and wage a successful war on the tennis court today!