A Nightmare for you, Happened to Me...
God has a wonderful sense of humor. He really does. I was drenched in a sweaty Rugby T-Shirt yesterday after playing a fiercely competitive doubles match for a couple hours.I take off my clothes. I shower. I go to unlock my locker and the Effing key does not work! I was like "Noooooo.... this is not happening to me!" I try in vain to get the locker open but nothing was working. Great! Even my towel is in my locker! I am standing in this vast locker room butt naked with no one around. What if nobody comes in the locker room? What if I am stuck here until eternity in nakedness? I am screeeeewed.
I could hear God's voice. It strangely sounded like Whipping Boy. "Well, Brett. You are certainly in a pickle now aren't you? What's the problem? You love being naked. Just go out there and get your keys. What's the problem?" I just smiled.
Oh... this is TOO good. Here I was totally naked and there wasn't even so much as a fig leaf to cover me up. I would have to wait for someone to find me in the locker room and try to help me. I felt like my whole world had suddenly stopped. I had nothing with me except for what I was born with. I was totally NOT in control and at someone else's mercy. The control freak in me had me feeling like a caged bunny rabbit.
Fortunately, a kind man who had been obviously jogging entered the locker room (ignored my nakedness) and asked if I was having trouble. I blushed. I asked him if he could go find the manager to help me with my locker. The jogger promised to find help and promptly vanished. Thank God for the kindness of strangers!
While the jogger was fetching the staff, I had resigned myself to the fact that dignity would have to go out the window. I had no choice in my helpless predicament. It was shorty after that I suddenly noticed that the locker was not pushed in all the way. My heart raced! I immediately gave the locker a big manly push. That did the trick! The key now worked perfectly. WHEW! My most embarassing moment has ended!
I was fortunately able to wrap a towel around my nakedness before the jogger and staff arrived back in the locker room. I was spared further embarrassment of feeling helpless. Whew! Now, I can only smile at what happened. Something that you would have a nightmare about, actually happened to me.
posted by Brettcajun at Monday, August 06, 2007
18 Comments:
Is there video documentation of said naked predicament? Just so we can have a better idea of what actually happened. You know so we can better empathize with you. ;-)
you made that all up.....we need proof. Was there a camera in the locker room?
BTW - who goes to the shower without taking a towel? Don't you wear flip flops in the publc shower?
Oh Puleeeze! You LOVE being naked and have no problem showing your family jewels. When you were here visiting and taking 12 showers a day, I saw more of you naked then most men get in a lifetime.
I locked my keys in my locker at the gym, but I wasn't naked. I did have to get the lock cutter from the front desk and another guy helped me cut thru my industrial strength lock.
Now I only use combinations.
And yeah, don't you towel off before walking back to your locker instead of dripping all over the floor? I'm not judging ... just asking because I can't stand dripping.
Well ...
THIS IS A TRUE STORY YOU DOUBTING THOMASES!!!
I had a horrible experience one time at the Y in Baton Rouge where some dickhead stole my hung towel while I was showering. So, now I lock up my towel to avoid the same fate. I guess... Murphy's Law was at play.
In my high school, the under-classmen in varsity sports would get "initiated" by the upper-classmen. They thought chasing me outside into the girls soccer practice naked would embarrass me. Ha! They were so wrong; I have no pride (but was the talk of the school the next day).
I'm right there with Zeitzeuge....don't play that "I'm embarassed" card with us. I think we both know better. Furthermore, I didnt' see any place that you got down on your knees and asked Jesus to help you. I mean, I'd have done me some prayin' in tongues, man! I think it's worth a million laughs. Until it happens to me. That's why I don't do gyms.
Did all that adrenaline have you at full throttle? Damn. I never get a chance to help my fellow man in a situation such as that. :(
I'd pay a dollar to see that!
I agree - we may need visual proof.
Dude, You should've played the damsel in distress! You could've gotten some buttsex from the good samaritan!
mmmm... was there steam flowing across the floor from the hot shower... was the water just dripping from parts of your body like dew from a lily (lily white ass)... tee hee...
Now, Brett...you know you like showing off the stub, er, I mean slab. Besides, what's so embarrassing about being naked in a locker room? It may not be the norm, but it's not unusual either.
Bare assed, yes. EMbarrassed, I doubt it. :-)
But I do believe you locked your towel in your locker (accidently-on purpose). It's the "manly" push I struggle with. LOL
I would have given a ton of money to be in that locker room at that particular moment :-)
I'm thinkin' slab-vid...
Hmmmm... what a predicament you were in. Glad it all worked out well for you. I am sure any one would have been glad to help you if you flashed your killer smile...
You know all your good stories tend to not have any good pictures with them.... Why is that? LOL
I can relate to this story, it happened to me sort of, except I had a towel on and was almost last for work because of it.
My, how the thrill of exhibitionism goes out the window the minute one doesn't have a choice. This is hysterical!
I was a member of a fraternity, undergrad. One of the many MANY pranks we used to play on each other would be to steal each other's towels while the unsuspecting person was showering.
Take the towel of the person showering and place it neatly on the doornob of their room. It made for a fun atmosphere of naked wet guys walking down the hallways every now and then.
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