Tuesday, June 12, 2007

My Inner Rebellion

I often wonder who this blogger "brettcajun" is sometimes. I definitely see patterns in my persona. I hate losing, growing old, and flying in airplanes. I love winning, traveling and watching sports. You know how I like throwing in a racy picture of myself every now and then to elicit a response. I relish pushing the envelope on this blog doing things that none of you others out there would dare to do.

But why? What is driving me? How can I possibly live up to this "brettcajun" character? You guys that will be in San Francisco next week surely expect some oversexed sword wielding tazmanian devil don't you? How can I possibly live up to that hyped up guy? The truth is... I can't.

The more I continue on with this blog, the more I realize that my blog persona is really me projecting things about myself that I admire the most. It is probably me being at what I consider my very best. It is a person that I very much admire.

But I am afraid I am not really this strong. The sad truth is that I am wimpier in the real world. At work, I would probably be called "passive" by co-workers. I typically strive for unity over strife. I have a hard time with confrontation. I avoid it like the plague. Does this surprise you?

You should be a tad surprised considering all the chaos my blog persona creates, huh? Yes. I think so too. I often wonder about this brettcajun person. I would like to think in the end that he helps me learn more about myself. I would like to think that he does more good than harm. If he is bringing me closer to self actualization... then great!

What is Brettcajun? Brettcajun is probably a manifestation of my inner rebellion against myself. That is very close to the truth. I sense this. But I also think he is a part of me as everything else is. I do know one thing. I will never stop blogging. It is a part of me. I know in my heart that blogging gives me a tremendous outlet to express myself. It may be all inner child... but I love that part of me.

10 Comments:

Blogger Rick said...

Thanks for the insight. We sometimes use blogging as a means in which to express who or what we'd like to be. I'm glad you shared this. It makes you more realistic, readable and tantalizing.

June 12, 2007  
Blogger Lacey said...

Read Joe.My.God.'s post about what PRIDE is all about.

I think BRETTCAJUN is your personal PRIDE PARADE. When you go to SF, just be yourself. In the end, what else CAN you do? Just be yourself.

June 12, 2007  
Blogger Chox said...

"But I am afraid I am not really this strong. The sad truth is that I am wimpier in the real world."

That's right, little man. You'd better run when you see me. Unless you like golden showers. Mama has to pee!

June 12, 2007  
Blogger Lewis said...

I hate to break the news to you, my friend, but there are probably very similiar threads of truth running in and amongst all of our blogs, our personas, what we portray to others here on the internet...where most of us will probably never meet. I think most of us just take things for what they are...simple, uncomplicated, it's all good type of attitude. I'm certainly not one to judge you.....I know that my honey and me are going to try and meet some of you guys for coffee on Friday morning of next week....hope you can make it.

June 12, 2007  
Anonymous derek said...

I really enjoyed this little delve into BrettCajun, I think we all use blogging for one reason or another and I like how you express yourself. I wish I was going to be in San Francisco for Pride.

June 12, 2007  
Blogger Moby said...

There you go having doubts and 2nd guessing yourself again.

You express parts of yourself here that you sometimes have a hard time expressing in person. We all do that in one way or another.

Just be yourself Mr. Good or bad, the rest will take care of itself.


You did this last time you came to SF, get over it, we love you anyway.

June 12, 2007  
Anonymous Jason said...

It's cool that blogging is your outlet, it is for most of us too. You are who you are, just be yourself ;)

June 13, 2007  
Blogger Kalvin said...

I think it's quite telling how this post is juxtaposed precisely against your blogger pride video. There you made your persona's statements that were rather brazen, and now, you question why you portray yourself as you do? You consistently say that you want to be this person that you portray in your blog. Why? All of the things you mention (being mouthy, controversial, obstreperous) are calling attention to you. And I'm certain that you're going to be getting attention at San Francisco because of it. But is that the kind of attention that you specifically want? I don't think you'll be satisfied with receiving attention, nor will you receive acceptance of you for who you are by merely starting a commotion. I'll drop in one of my favorite quotes from The Hours by Michael Cunningham:

"I know a conquistador when I see one. I know all about making a splash. It isn't hard. If you shout loud enough, for long enough, a crowd will gather to see what all the noise is about. It's the nature of crowds. They don't stay long, unless you give them reason. You're just as bad as most men, just that aggressive, just that self-aggrandizing, and your hour will come and go."

I'm not necessarily saying the entire quote is applicable, but I'm curious to know what you think.

June 13, 2007  
Blogger hbjock said...

Ahh well I think that most people who blog tend to project their best qualities in the blog while leaving out their inadequacies. Besides, it seems like a lot of people like the studlier side of life. If we really wrote about EVERYTHING in our lives, people would be bored :) I daresay that people don't really want to know what my life at work is like heheh...

Hell, you probably know more about the real me, than anybody else in the blogging world does because of our conversations :)

June 13, 2007  
Blogger Steven said...

Doesn't everyone go through the "who am I?" feeling when posting material on their site?

You're writing this stuff, so it must be somewhere inside of you.

June 15, 2007  

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