Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Tabooli Has Deacon Blues

They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues

I popped up bright and early at 4:45am this morning. Today was the weekly tennis grudge match against the Office Guy. I stretched all my muscles on the tennis court. My right shoulder was hurt from yesterday's football game. My hamstrings, quads, and ass all felt bruised. Though I was battle weary, I felt heroic for simply showing up for this tennis match.

As soon as my opponent stepped onto the court, I heard that familiar Kill Bill theme song in my head. You know that unforgettable music that blares whenever Uma Thurman see's an enemy assassin? This MOFO was going down. As God is my witness, I will avenge the loss from last week!

I bolted out to a 3-0 lead. Piece of cake. I was already writing my blog post in my head: WAXING OFFICE GUY. But the Office Guy (and God) had other things in store for me. The Office Guy won two straight games. I won the next. The score was 4-2. Then the Office Guy did the unthinkable and rattled off three straight victories. I was down in the set 4-5! My confidence dropped severely when I was down 30:Love in what seemed like the final game. I was doomed.
I fought back and wrestled that game away from Office guy.

We were now tied at 5-5. Then, I maliciously used the drop shot to behead the Office Guy in a hardfought game to pull ahead 6-5. I was one more victory away from getting a GIGANTIC HEAD. Could it be? My moment of glory was only minutes away! I went up 30:Love. So far... so good. Two more points and I will be ordained HOMO ruler of the sports world!

But God surely had other things in store for me. Unbeknownest to me, the last week of Big Headedness was too much for our Divine Being to stomach. He lifted the powers of Office Guy to wrestle away the one game I needed to win.

We were now tied at 6-6 and forced into the 7 point tie-breaker game. This would determine the winner. The 7 point tie-breaker game was an utter disaster for me. (stop cheering you bitches!) I lost that game 7-4 and was never ahead. :( The final score in the loss to Office Guy was: 7-6. We determine our "victories" by the winner of one set because that is all the time we have before work.

New Brettcajun's World Tennis Rankings:

1. Brettcajun
2. Whipping Boy (rarely puts together back to back wins)
3. Office Guy (2 game win streak)
4. E.Shrew (hasn't played in EONS)
5. Heath (can't beat me)


Blogger Lewis said...

You know what I could beat you at? Eating Orange Cream Coffee Cake. Wait.....hum. On second thought, maybe not. We'll have to have a run-off.

June 27, 2007  
Blogger hbjock said...

Aww bro, I'm sorry to hear it.... this probably wouldn't be a good time to tell you that I won the competition that I was prepping all summer for huh? :))

June 27, 2007  
Blogger JR said...

big fan of Steely Dan. Nice attempt just the same! Im cheering in your corner no matter what. Adding you to the blog roll once I get to the real computer instead of this laptop crap. Ive been to your home town about 10 years ago. To bad you weren't there taking advantage of young visitors from Colorado back then...

June 28, 2007  

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