Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Bitch Slapping the Office Guy

The Office Guy, an ex-marine, was ready for duel #2 in an epic tennis battle this morning at 6am. He had been practicing for two whole months for the rematch. In our last battle, I was initially on my heels as I watched in horror as he scored Ace after Ace with awesome serves. The Office Guy's serves come at you fast and furious with a curve either way to the left or way to the right. I literally only have a couple seconds to react. Being the competitor that I am, I learned real quick to be on my toes and beat him with stealth placement and excellent hustling. Every fiber in my being sharpened and tensed up to beat him 6-4, 6-0 in our first match.

This time would be different. The Office Guy entered the tennis court with a swagger. He was confident this time would be different. Just as I expected, each serve was just as awesome as before, but this time he had a hustling ability that matched mine. Oh shit! He rarely double faulted, unlike in our first match. Each game was excruciatingly long. The Office Guy's tactic was to slowly work his way closer and closer to the net. My challenge was to keep him as far away from the net as possible. (or to at least win half those skirmishes at the net)

Despite falling behind in each game, I went up 2-0 on the Office Guy. I play best when my back is against the wall. This continued my latest trend of starting off strong. The Office Guy then rattled off three straight wins as he was playing a perfect game while I was running around making mistakes. He scored three Aces on my ass in that stretch. I had to do something to take away his serve strength. My back was against the wall, but I found the strength to consistently nail the corner crosscourt with speed and ferocity that matched his serves. That became my "money shot" that had the Office Guy on his heels.

After slugging it out for one hour and twenty minutes, I won the first set 6-4. We were both drenched in sweat. With only 45 minutes left until we were both supposed to be at work, we had no choice but to call it a game. I walked off that court proud of how well I played up to my fierce competitor. This marks my third straight victory. Who can stop my streak? Can anybody? I am now ready to put Kelly and Jeff's ass on the court and bully them around. And David in Seattle... you'll be sleepless soon after the horror I got coming to your ass. ;)


Blogger patrick said...

Congrats! You sound competitive. :-)

June 06, 2007  
Blogger Kelly said...

mmm hmmm, nothing like having our asses beat... tee hee... pun intended...

June 06, 2007  

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