Monday, June 04, 2007

Are You Ready for the Hookers Ball?

In 18 days, all the hookers in the blogworld will descend upon San Francisco for the Grand Hooker's Ball. This is not a low rent blowjobs-in-the-parking lot working girl convention. Think of it more like a high class Heidi Fleiss madames convention. What I am trying to say is that this will be the Who's Who in gay blogworld. This is the first time that we'll all see who Photoshop's the most, who's the truthseeker, who's the insatiable, and who's the no show.

This is high pressure folks. We will practically be on the big stage naked and in full frontal view of each other. First impressions are important. If I am pudgy during that one weekend, everyone will consider me pudgy for the rest of my blog life. What if you get a pimple? You'll be pimple boy for the rest of your blog life. See what I am talking about?! This is high pressure folks!!!

What if my camera crew runs slap into Kelly's during a grand production? There will be HELL TO PAY if my show is ruined! I might also suggest that Dan and Jimmi have stun guns ready just in case there is no silence on the set of their DanNationCAST because too many attention whorish bloggers are too busy videocasting, podcasting, or photoshooting.

Can't we have handlers available to assist us all? Handlers can be made available to smooth over the clashing of egos, hissy fits, tooting your own horn, trying to toot Adam or Kelly's boyfriend's horn, or any diva-like behavior.

My personal handlers are in charge of preventing anyone challenging me to a Jiggy Dance Whore Off. The thought of someone studying all my cool moves, dissecting them, and outdoing me to sixteen and 1/2 minutes of thunderous applause makes my spine shiver. I have my pineapple prop ready just in case.

In the meantime, I'll be OCDing at the gym every single day just in case Atari or Kalvin wants to do me. I have been trying really hard to read the urban dictionary so I will be able to communicate with Chad Fox. Just in case I run into this hunk, who renders me speechless and frozen, I will try to get some psychotherapy. Oh that reminds me... I need to check in with Moby to make sure he can accomodate and feed my entire film crew as well. ;)


Blogger Chox said...

Ooga booga.

June 04, 2007  
Anonymous RawForReal said...


Didn't you mean to say,"Sixteen and one-half minutes of uninterrupted thunderous ovation?" Get it right, Marjorie. Do you plan to throw your baton into the air, too? Or will you be speaking of "Patriotism, Battlefields, and Diamond Tiaras"?

Git 'er done... Have Fun!



June 04, 2007  
Blogger lifescolorfulbrushstrokes said...

I'll resolve this whole attention 'thang real quick. Let me make a call to Dan and tell him that since I won't be at the Whore's Ball that I should be the guest star of his live Jimmi and Dan PODCAST. Problem solved. O DAAAAAAN!!!!!

Now that's not fair to your readers on trying to guess if I'll be the know show when you know I AM going to be the know show. Shame on you! I'm bummed but I have someone that warrants a lot more attention than the blogger gang!

June 04, 2007  
Blogger MiKell said...

I hear that Tony isn't going to be the only no-show... but you didn't hear that from me.

June 04, 2007  
Blogger Rick Andreoli said...

If you do get lucky, will the camera crew be there to document?

June 04, 2007  
Blogger Darin said...

Uhmmm...this is actually the second one. So for the Inaguaral's more of a reunion.

But it's the first one you were invited to.


June 04, 2007  
Blogger Kelly said...

Has anyone notified the local media so they can be there to get an unbiased view of what really happens...hehehehe... what a crazy night it will be... I soooo look forward to this Hookers Ball... and I will be a little pudgier than my creative angles show me on my blog... so I put that out there now... but I am still pretty cute...

June 05, 2007  
Blogger Moby said...

Huh? What? I don't know about all that however, the one thing about my apartment, there is NEVER a lack of food! The roomie and I, both being from the South, can put away some grub.

Anyhoo, all that sounds nice however, I'm just playing the gracious host. I've had plenty of balls. Sadly, Large T will also not be attending so maybe the orgy is off as well.

Btw, I'm STILL waiting on your itinerary.

June 05, 2007  
Blogger DanNation said...

Gentlemen...there will be live video cameras but no FCC censorship- so, it should be interesting.

June 05, 2007  
Blogger Atari_Age said...

Well you sure have a way of painting this with the most high stress possible! No I's scared!

And, oh, I didn't think some of us had the options to "do" you! Whoo hoo!

June 06, 2007  

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