Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Revenging Thy Foe

Wikipedia defines REVENGE as the vengeful wish that consists of forcing the perceived wrongdoer to suffer the same pain that they inflicted in the first place. An extreme case of revenge was on my mind when I met Whipping Boy at sundown today. The bitter taste of defeat kept my mind focused on the task at hand. It was high time I was going to administer the big knockout punch he so richly deserved. Whipping Boy was going down!

With the humiliation of losing etched permanently in my mind, I walked on to the courts of God foresaken Jefferson Parish with justice to administer. My plan was to open up strong and stay strong until Whipping Boy was splattered, snuffed out, and put out. From the opening game to the end, that nail in his coffin was prominently on display. Whipping Boy could not make any adjustments. I wouldn't let him. I made him play defense the whole match. He watched in horror as the impotence in his play was being exposed by muscle, grit and sheer determination.

Whipping Boy was fully throttled 6-2, 6-3 in straight sets. The unrelenting shock and awe of my drop shots made his head spin faster than Linda Blair's nappy one. Whipping Boy couldn't win on "winners" this game. He had more unforced errors than ever before. In less than one hour, I delivered one of the most lopsided results in our storied history. I could only lift up my asswhooping-delivering racquet and blow off the smoke rising from it. Revenge was SOOOO sweet!

As a result of Whipping Boy's piss poor defense of his #1 ranking, he predictably tumbles down the poll after only a very brief stint on top. I can only SMIRK at the misfortune. ;)

Brett's World Rankings*:

1. Brettcajun
2. Whipping Boy
3. E.Shrew
4. Office Guy
6. E.Twin
7. Peppy

*I am still waiting to put a few "L's" on BrianD's, Kevin's and Heath's ass in the near future so they can be properly ranked in this poll. It's coming!


Blogger -Tony- said...

So I'm going to guess you play on hard courts?

I also want to know how you average out who's ranked where? Is it done like the pros?

May 02, 2007  
Anonymous Tom aka whipping boy said...

The ratings are fixed thats all i can say. Tabooli did win fair and square and for that he should be congratulated. But it should not have moved him back to #1 considering how often he has fallen to pitiful defeats at my hands and it did not result in any movement in the rankings

May 03, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isnt Whipping Boy doing just like your favorite team? Its much like when LSU is ranked #1 in any of the polls, they frequently lose their next game as they freefall!

May 03, 2007  
Blogger BRETTCAJUN said...

Whipping Boy is just sour grapes. He got an asswhooping of cosmic proportions delivered to him. Come on... losing 6-2 in the first set? That's pretty bad! And that is not very becoming for a #1 ranked player. I am glad the pollsters saw to it to punish him accordingly. ;)

May 03, 2007  
Blogger Steven said...

Time to display that great (yet humble) sportsmanship, Brett! I seem to recall a post recently that had you in the dumps. Whipping Boy could make a come back next time around. I will say great reporting on the match, though. Oh, and uh, congratulations! ;-)

May 03, 2007  
Blogger BRETTCAJUN said...

Sportsmanship is for sissies. Losing is for losers. I'm a winner baby! ;)

May 03, 2007  
Blogger Charlie said...

Like they say... revenge is a dish best served cold. Congrats on the win!

May 03, 2007  
Blogger -Tony- said...

Hey - I think it USC that should be mentioned when you say "ranked #1" have you seen their pitiful schedule? HAHAHA!

Anyway - I think self gratification and vanity go hand in hand.

How come we don't have some hot action shots from you playing tennis?

May 03, 2007  

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