Papa Hog
I feel like a Papa Hog. You know one of those prize winning blue ribbon hogs from Arkansas? Yep. I am beginning to look like my twin brother and father. I have not played any tennis or done any cardio in a long time. Taco Bell + No Cardio = Papa Hog. I am disgusted. Why didn't someone tell me sooner before it got this out of hand?!?! OH MY GAWD... my side profile now looks disgusting. No wonder this body builder was giving me a lecture about DIET on Saturday. I just thought he was being chatty. No wonder Madame de Pompadour kept telling me to suck it in all night at the Bourbon Pub! I just don't get hints dammit. Don't you hate it when you suddenly realize you are now officially FAT and everyone was in on the secret but you??? Grrr...
posted by Brettcajun at Monday, January 29, 2007
20 Comments:
Brett, I am having the same exact revelation this morning :(
Oh please, I'm sure you've only gained probably a pound or possible *gasp* TWO pounds.
Nooo... it's more like SIX POUNDS Mark. I am serious! You can grab two handfuls of pudge.
Brett - you don't understand... 90% of us would KILL to look like you! I know I would!
OK Bitch, I mean Brett, quit your bitchin! I have ALWAYS supported you, even in times when I thought you were dead wrong, but this time, it simply is not gonna happen. The pics you posted of yourself just a few short days ago, the ones that have helped me through a couple of lonely nights, are of an amazing looking man. And unless you super-imposed your beautiful face on someone else's magnificent body, you have nothing to be concerned about. Now, if you really feel like a HAWG, then get your ass to the gym, steer clear of the damn Taco Bell, and get focused again. One thing that drives me over the edge is when a man as hot as you bitches and moans that he is not pretty...PLEASE GET A GRIP!!! You are one of the finest men I know, and an extra 5 pounds, 10 pounds, 15 pounds, whatever it is, I would love nothing more than to have them laying on top of me keeping me warm at night.
Now with all that said, take a before picture tonight and do follow up pictures every Monday for the next month and see the progress. I know sometimes you just need a kick in the ass to make things happen, so consider yourself kicked. I expect results!
I am NOT being a drama queen. Just for the naysayers... I took a fatty pic today. I was NOT sucking in this time. All those "hot" pics of me is after mucho grande sucking in from all the mucho grande taco supremes at Taco Bell. Sigh...
I gotta repost the comment I made on your Couch podcast--most of it applies here too:
Yeah, you do come off as really gay in the podcast. I'm normally not attracted to the gay-type. I'm bi (relationships with women only, fun one-timers with men) but I do think you are really gorgeous. Don't lose any weight or remove any body hair...you're perfect the way you are. J Z in NY
I'm serious--don't change. It's OK to be concerned about eating right and taking care of yourself for health reasons, but you are fine. What are your height-weight stats? I'm sure any doctor would consider you to be perfectly normal. Enjoy life; your Taco Bell (and my Pizza Hut) are OK in moderation.
J Z, NY
You are a such a Fiona de drama! Two extra days of cardio every week for a month and you'll be lean/mean again.
oh and I STILL loves you....
I don't think it's that you have gotten fat, you're just wearing a shirt that is too small for you.
Where'd you get that thing? Baby GAP?
Join the club! LOL But you still look good! ;)
Brett...I'll take you just as you are! YUM! Big hugs.
Darn updated blogger...won't let me leave comments by merely typing in the word verification. The comment above is me Brett
.....Tony, lifescolorfulbrushstrokes
Dude, try noticing 4 days before you leave for a 7 day cruise that you've gained back 10 of the 15 lbs you just lost and that belt you used to hook into the last hole is back in the center hole!!! I guess I should have been more disciplined in going to the gym like I had been last fall. I'll get back into shape, just wait and see!!!
OFF TOPIC: I wanted to put this link to a news story about the Speaker of the House, Pelosi, reaching out to the blogging community. I figured you and the folks in here would appreciate it.
Hope to see ya soon!
John
Oh no! Taco Bell?! That's just nasty!
Go read what happened to me a couple weekends ago www.tonymblog.blogspot.com about Taco Hell!
Time for a the Almond and Water diet!
your so funny! You look great!
LOL, dude I'm right there too. I didn't notice til Iposted pics on my blog. I can see it in my face. Time to hit the Ellyptical again!
Me thinks you looks JUST as sexy as every.
oh...haahahaa. that was me, Scotty. i am on the down low
It's just the Thanksgiving/Christmas 10 lb. gift. I need to find an opportunity to "regift" mine.
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