Friday, September 29, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
EGGS are coming out of my ass!
My refridgerator is full to the brim from one week's worth of eggs. Those hens are cranking out at 100% capacity. (9 eggs per day) Everything in this basket is what I collected in ONE WEEK. This is minus the five or so eggs I accidentally dropped from handling them badly. So, I am taking all these eggs to work with me tomorrow for my co-workers. These farm fresh brown eggs are the most delicious eggs you'll ever eat. The same thing goes for that white mass you see in the picture. (LOL!)
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
WAR on the TENNIS COURTS!
I was actually approached by this foe after he had heard and read ad naseum about my tennis conquests. This particuliar individual plays league games in Baton Rouge. Well, I am always UP for anyone with the balls to challenge my rule on the courts. This duel was going to take place on my home turf. A country asswhooping was in order. Or was it?
Would I be ready for this challenge? Have I been properly prepared playing Whipping Boy? Or has Whipping Boy been such an inferior opponent that I have been lulled into playing bad tennis? These questions were about to be answered.
I was ready. I had already known this opponent years ago when I lived in Baton Rouge. He knew my reputation. He was at many game parties where I lashed out at my teammates whenever we were losing in Taboo or Charades. He knew my gloating and sneering competitive attitude. He was hellbent on wiping any smirk off my face tonight. Enemies must be decisively CRUSHED. I was hellbent on sending this enemy combatant packing and crying all the way back up to Baton Rouge.
In a pre-game warmup, I disturbingly realized that I was about to be the one to get my ass handed to me. The Enemy Combatant informs me that he has been playing tennis since he was 8 years old and played in high school. He served at least two aces almost every game. He even had spins on almost every single shot (even serves). When I could hustle to the ball, it cruelly only bounced about a foot all the while spinning. I was toast. I lost in straight sets 6-0, 6-1 before I even got warmed up. We went on to play three more sets where I lost 6-0, 6-0, and 6-0. So, if I can do math right, I lost 30 of 31 games. :(
Sooo.. I am going to still play this person before my Houston tournament in November. It can ONLY help me better prepare for tournament play. Right now, I am going take a hot shower and lick my wounds.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Dreaming of Bloggers...
I had a dream last night. When the dream sequence began, I found myself at some kind of slumber party. Well, maybe it wasn't a slumber party. Maybe it was a blogger get together. I didn't recognize any of the people there but ONE. This person is a blogger that I have yet to meet. We have sometimes knocked heads in the past. Can you imagine me knocking heads with anyone?! Presently, I have a very cordial relationship with this blogger.
My first reaction upon seeing this person face-to-face was one of elation. We simply stared at each other and smiled. I felt all the past run-ins were quickly washed away from both of us. We hugged. I tried to go behind him, lift him up, and crack his back. (something I only do for very special people). We laid on the floor together and cuddled. It was a joyous occasion. At that one moment, our minds and souls were ONE. Imagining forgiveness with this particuliar blogger was a nice feeling. I know it will come someday soon.
The human element of forgiveness was a key theme to this dream. I am the world's biggest forgiver, although it does not always happen without much foot dragging. I must first let my PRIDE subside a little first. Sometimes, I am forced to give someone the silent treatment when we run into each other in public. That is for their benefit... TRUST ME. I do this when I know that any interaction will probably not go well. I will not be able to stop my tongue from splitting in two, spitting like a serpent, and giving the individual a good tongue lashing. Until someone can lock us in a room together with straight jackets on until we straighten things out, sometimes forgiveness takes time. But forgiveness does come eventually...
What a wonderful game. I watched a magnificient game last night in New Orleans surrounded by some of my best buds. The New Orleans Saints (3-0) defeated those dastardly Dirty Birds from Atlanta 23-3 and seized control of the NFC South division with a good old fashioned ass whooping. Vick and the Falcons looked dickless out there on the field. Congratulations New Orleans Saints! Thank you ESPN. Thank you NFL. It's great to see the spirit of New Orleans and Louisiana shine bright before the world again!
Friday, September 22, 2006
Life Still Goes On When You Lose...
I lost to Whipping Boy for the first time since October 2005 when my wrist was injured. I blew a 5-1 lead in the 7 point tie-breaker game. Whipping Boy won the first set 7-6. Then I was lethargic in losing the second set 6-4. I can make excuses that I was exhausted from the lack of sleep the previous night or how I was still sore from the previous day of tennis. I can bring up the fact that Whipping Boy had his BF show up at opportune times to distract me. Or I could blame it on my mind being on other things. The mere fact that my house is going to be leveled next month is enough to cause me to NOT concentrate 100%. I could blame it on lots of things.
So, what does it feel like to lose at something? Well... kind of anti-climatic. You would think I would lose my shit on the spot after experiencing the sting of defeat. But I didn't. I was calm. I didn't throw my racquet across the court and ping Whipping Boy or his BF in the head. I kind of felt the same as I did whenever I beat or tied Whipping Boy. I was still tired. I was still sweaty and stinky. It almost felt the same. I remember thinking "So, this is what it feels like to lose?" Hmmm... the Earth still spins. My dogs and chickens still need to be fed. I still have to go to bed at night and wake up the next day for work. Hmmm... I guess life really does go on when you lose.
Note to self: contact Whipping Boy immediately to schedule the
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Down on the Farm II
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Happiness by Brettcajun
I have been nagging myself to death about going talk to someone professionally. But that male pride is getting the best of me. To go talk to someone else about helping me get myself out of a hole is just weak. I am a man for God sakes! Men are supposed to be strong. Who is going to protect the women-folk if the men all need to go to counseling? Okay... scratch that thought. Who is going to protect Boudreaux, Pierre, and Lucky the dog if I can't take care of my own damned self?
Which brings me to my own Happiness plan. Hear me out folks. What if I start doing more of the things that I hate to do? Can you see the genius of it? Maybe just maybe that'll actually push me from the extreme I am trapped in to a happier middle ground. Could this work? Or is this hairbrained?
Just today, I eased my stubborness and linked those
At the gym this morning, instead of starting off my week doing the typical upper body workout... I started with legs. I HATE working out my legs. Sometimes, I go through the whole week or month without doing any leg exercises. I even started the leg workout with the most hated 345# leg plate press. The few times I do work my legs, I avoid this machine the most.
After work, I am going back to the gym to do something I hate the most... non-sports related cardio. Yep. That's right. I am going to do the boring old treadmill next to Peggy Sue and her thunderous thighs. Yee Haw.
Will this finding-happiness-by-doing-things-you-hate-to-do-strategy work? Wish me luck!
Monday, September 18, 2006
Talking to a Higher Power or am I just Batshit Crazy?
I am left pondering if this is all my subconsciencous throwing back my own worries and thoughts back to me. Or, is this a higher power trying to take the wheel of my life which has been spinning in circles lately?
Whatever that is going on... I wish it would continue. I actually like nightly consultations with either my brain or this higher power. These consultations always seem to cut through the bullshit that goes on in my life and gets to the point. I like that.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
I am not going to dwell on the loss because it was really a good game. The Auburn and LSU fans at Jordan Hare stadium were great. The whole game felt like a playoff game. (only college football doesn't have playoff games) The energy was electric. I was on my toes at home for the entire game. It was THAT close. Every play was so crucial in this game for both teams.
Congrats to the Auburn Tigers and your fans. I only want for a team out of the SEC to go undefeated and make it to the BCS Championship Game. Notre Dame was exposed as a phoney yesterday. I think Ohio State will lose too eventually. Perhaps Georgia, Florida or Auburn can secure that #2 spot and WHOOP some USC ass. It is a shame that we don't have a playoff system in college football. I think SEC teams would crush the patsies (like USC and Oregon) and triumph. But our current bowl system is designed to make every team feel special.
What did I do after this game? I promptly ordered E.Shrew and Evil Twin to the tennis courts for tournament play. (Winner stay up... first one to win 10 games wins tourny) I needed to work off some steam. Predictably, I beat them both. Brett: 10, E.Shrew: 7, Evil Twin: 4. Hell, if LSU can't win, then I can at least do it!
Friday, September 15, 2006
Who are you calling Mary?
A Lab puppy showed up at my doorstep starving a couple days ago. He was the most adorable puppy I had ever laid my eyes upon. Under his beautiful blue eyes was a patch of powder on his nose. He was so hungry, he had helped himself to some chicken grow and start feed. I promptly gave the puppy food and water, which he devoured like he hadn't eaten for days.
Originally, I thought the puppy was a female and called it "Mary". E.Shrew found the "lipstick" poking out today. To my utter embarrassment, I can't properly identify the sex of a puppy! Come to find out, all those nipples on the underbelly were really bites NOT nipples. I have since sprayed the puppy for fleas, gave him Frontline and a pill for heartworms.
So, now "Mary" is "Lucky". I posted signs all over the neighborhood for the missing puppy, but I have yet to get a call from the owner. Does this have anything to do with me putting "FEMALE LAB PUPPY FOUND"??? Hmmm... if I can't find the owner, does anyone want to adopt a black Lab puppy with two beautiful blue eyes?
See what happens when you elect a German as Pope?
Thursday, September 14, 2006
A: They don't want to wear out the mule.
Q: What's the difference between an Auburn cheerleader and a heifer?
A: About 20 pounds.
Q: Why don't they serve ice water at Auburn football games anymore?
A: The guy with the recipe died.
Q: Do you know why AU fans wear orange?
A: So they can go from the construction road crew straight to the game without having to change clothes.
Q: What is the long and hard on an Auburn student?
A: The first grade.
Q: Why wasn't Jesus Christ born in Auburn?
A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
FOOTBALL IN THE SOUTH: Bring It On Auburn!
LSU is coming Auburn. We AINT rolling into the Plains to do any cowtipping either! You've been punks for years. Now it's time to show you Aubies who is THE BOSS in the SEC! How do you spell victory? V. A. U. G. H. N. (the hapless Aubie field goal kicker).
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Mom's Secret Desires...
Monday, September 11, 2006
When you have brown eggs coming out of your ass...
From FEMA Trailer to Custom KB Home
Now that daily egg production has reached 7 per day, E.Shrew and I upgraded the roost from a shabby FEMA Trailer to a custom prefab KB Home. Notice the new building code called for an elevated house. This is actually an outdoor playhouse we got for 60% off at Toys R Us. The doorbell even works too! Are these the most spoiled chickens in the universe or what?!
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Colt Weaning Day
LSU vs Arizona Wildcats
LSU getting ready to kick an extra point after TD
LSU wins in a blowout 45-3. The Arizona Wildcats do not score their fieldgoal until the very last minute of the game when all the LSU reserves are in the game. I still remember this Arizona Wildcats fan (female) who yelled before the game "Let's show these Southerners how we play football in Arizona!" Okay lady... I saw and I was NOT impressed.
Auburn... your asses are NEXT!!! LSU is NO Mississippi State. You had better bring your "A" game Aubies! LSU is ready to steamroll you.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Another SEC Team Whooping A PAC-10 Team's Ass this week...
I look forward to our next foes... the Auburn Tigers. They are probably the most hated team in the SEC. Well, them and the Tennessee Vols. Don't get mad Large Tony... if ya'll would only stop playing Rocky Top so much during the game I am sure SEC fans would love your team a little more.
It's NOT great to be an Aubie next week...
Auburn is LSU's Whipping Boy... see it here!