WAR on the TENNIS COURTS!
Under the hot Louisiana sun, I awaited a new enemy combatant. That's right. I said "enemy combatant". This is not romper room... this is WAR! I was loaded with Red Bull and pure adrenaline. I could taste my foes defeat before he even arrived.I was actually approached by this foe after he had heard and read ad naseum about my tennis conquests. This particuliar individual plays league games in Baton Rouge. Well, I am always UP for anyone with the balls to challenge my rule on the courts. This duel was going to take place on my home turf. A country asswhooping was in order. Or was it?
Would I be ready for this challenge? Have I been properly prepared playing Whipping Boy? Or has Whipping Boy been such an inferior opponent that I have been lulled into playing bad tennis? These questions were about to be answered.
I was ready. I had already known this opponent years ago when I lived in Baton Rouge. He knew my reputation. He was at many game parties where I lashed out at my teammates whenever we were losing in Taboo or Charades. He knew my gloating and sneering competitive attitude. He was hellbent on wiping any smirk off my face tonight. Enemies must be decisively CRUSHED. I was hellbent on sending this enemy combatant packing and crying all the way back up to Baton Rouge.
In a pre-game warmup, I disturbingly realized that I was about to be the one to get my ass handed to me. The Enemy Combatant informs me that he has been playing tennis since he was 8 years old and played in high school. He served at least two aces almost every game. He even had spins on almost every single shot (even serves). When I could hustle to the ball, it cruelly only bounced about a foot all the while spinning. I was toast. I lost in straight sets 6-0, 6-1 before I even got warmed up. We went on to play three more sets where I lost 6-0, 6-0, and 6-0. So, if I can do math right, I lost 30 of 31 games. :(
Sooo.. I am going to still play this person before my Houston tournament in November. It can ONLY help me better prepare for tournament play. Right now, I am going take a hot shower and lick my wounds.
posted by Brettcajun at Wednesday, September 27, 2006
8 Comments:
Boy... you better play him a couple hundred times before Houston as that was one a*swhooping! Lots of practice and perhaps you might just upset him.
It was a battle of two
very butch lesbians, the old-timer, Martina
Navratilova and the up-and-comer, Amelie Mauresmo. We played an incredible 5 sets of tennis.
Actually it seemed like two butch lesbians, but it was
actually me and old friend. We played for 2 hours and it was great fun. Let's just say that the more time I have on court
with him, the better my game will continue to get. My
three years of tennis experience paled in comparison
to his 30-plus years of court time.
My goal will be to slowly improve and win more games against him each time we play. It goes without
saying that neither E. Shrew, Evil Twin nor Whipping Boy would have stood a chance against him. I can mop the court with them anyday....though it might be fun
to watch someone else slap them around for a change.
is there an event here in houston or are you just playing with friends here?
wow- you are suffering a lot of stinging defeats lately.
Lots of wound-licking.
Can I help?? :-)
not much of a war.
more like.... TAKIN CANDY FROM A BABY!!! yeah!
(this was NOT posted by your opponent friend, but rather a reader who enjoys mocking you on occasion)
LOL, yeah I had that happen last night to me. I lost 6-2, 6-0, 6-0. And then we still had time left on the court and decided to play a fourth. Boy, was he gloating, that is until I took the first game, then the second, then the third. Then I got cocky and lost the next two. So he started gloating again. I then served a perfect game. He was looking worried, until...........we ran out of court time. His last words to me, "Oh Darn, too bad you can't claim that set!"
This biotch is going down next time we play.
At least ... you WERE ON THE BOARD!
You only get better by playing more advanced players.
Hey Martina. Don't frett, Brett. Your worst days on the court have yet to come. When we play, you better have that Aspercream ready and pre-bake some humble pie. Your Boo, J
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