The Rhode Island Red Chickens Don't Appreciate Me...

This picture was taken during happier times. Can you see the rivalry already brewing between us? I was "Daddy" to ten little chicks. I raised them in my garage in an incubator pen. When they outgrew that, I put two incubator pens together to form a Duplex. Nothing but the best for our chicks! After a few more weeks, I relocated them to an emergency FEMA shelter because the shit was flying and they were growing too fast. E.Shrew and I worked long hours to build Le Grand Poulailler so our chickens would be the most pampered chickens in south Louisiana.

Everyday, I rush home from work to release the chickens for a couple hours so they can peck at grass and worms outside of Le Grand Poulailler. I feed them cracked corn and growth poultry feed twice a day. I change out their water every three days so the chickens have fresh water. I change out their poop bins once a week so the chicken yard doesn't have a shitty smell. I have even gone out of my way to feed our fowl children vegetables from the garden because they love cantaloupe and cucumbers. How many chicken owners do that???

Well my relationship with the Rhode Island Red hens have since turned VERY sour. Three of the Rhode Island Reds, who I call The Bully Posse, now corner me every day in the chicken yard. I try to ignore the fact that they are trying to pick a fight with me. I carry on with my feeding duties, but I can now be assured of at least one hard peck at my feet or hands. These are not little pecks. It feels like someone nipping at you with the very end of some dull scissors. The culprits include Myrtle, Betsy, and this big ring leader that I am going to start calling BIG RED. I am not making these chicken yard fights up! I have bruises on my hands and my feet where these bully birds have pecked the fuck out of me!

Where has the love turned from fair weather to hostile with these feathered fowl? I googled but could not find a "Hen Whisperer" to help me in mediation with these three ballsy bullies. Come this weekend, I will have no choice but to show these chickens WHO IS BOSS! It is time to establish a new pecking order with this flock. I will NOT be run out of my own damn chicken yard! I am the boss! If that doesn't work, I'll unleash my Dachshunds Boudreaux and Pierre around their finger licking selves. HIDE AND WATCH ME!!!