Dear Loyal Subjects:
Now that all the hubbub is over, I am ready to give my first full address as your reigning Evil Queen. I sincerely appreciate each and every person across the great state of Louisiana and from afar who congratulated me for winning the Mr. Bayou Grizzlies 2006 contest. It was quite the honor and experience that I will always remember for the rest of my life. Dave organized a great event which raised a lot of money for the Bayou Grizzlies.
I would first like to address those of you who were overly concerned that my head would explode. I can assure you that my head has not grown too big or is it in any present danger of exploding spectacularly from the ego trip. Don't think for one minute that I did not hear a collective GROAN from the blogworld or local friends when news traveled swiftly that Brettina had indeed won herself a beauty contest!
I would like to address those who have had the nerve to tell me that all they had to do was show up and they TOO could have won a Mr. Bayou Grizzlies 2006 title. My response to you is: NO YOUR MONKEY ASS WOULDN'T HAVE! First of all, you have to have some sort of a likeable personality. Secondly, no one else thinks of yourself as naturally handsome or built. Only YOU DO. Thirdly, you don't have the BALLS to get up on stage and take the chance of putting your pride on the line in front of a huge ass crowd that is watching your every word, move, or imperfection. No one entering this contest will have the most handsome face, finest body, best personality, hairiest chest, most hungnormous SLAB, prettiest smile or the nicest ass. The winner will always be the total package of the individual presented on stage to the judges and audience. I wasn't the hairiest, didn't have the hottest body, and I most certainly didn't have the nicest ass!
Some of you have asked if you could try on my Royal Sash. The answer is an unequivocal "NO!" In ghetto talk... "NO MOTHERFUCKER! You didn't carry yo chicken ass up there and risk making a plain fool of yo-self!" Let me rephrase this. As the CHOSEN ONE, only I can wear the Royal Sash. Anyone else trying to wear it would only anger the gods and run the distinct risk of being struck by a bolt of lightening. For those of you that want to see the Royal Sash, I can assure you that on one day at Southern Decadence, I will parade around the French Quarter donning it. Hey, if I am going to be a poster boy for the Bayou Grizzlies... I have to get out there and recruit!
Finally, for those of you worrying what path this is going to lead for me in the future... I can assure you that it will only lead to greater things. I honestly do not feel like I won a "beauty contest". I feel I was entrusted with the responsibility of representing the Bayou Grizzlies of Baton Rouge. This is a wonderful gay organization. I want nothing more than for this organization to flourish and thrive. The exciting response that the Bayou Grizzlies bring to the Baton Rouge gay community should be commended and encouraged. The Bayou Grizzlies organization means a lot to the local gay community.
Special thanks to E.Shrew for taking those wonderful pictures of the contest. In fact, any pictures that Ambush Magazine will publish will probably be from the pictures he personally took on his camera. You did a great job baby! I know E.Shrew was very proud of me last Saturday night. I want to thank him for being the kind of partner that is willing to let me be myself and shine. I appreciate your willingness to join life's adventure with me and hang on for the crazy ride. I couldn't ask for more. ;)