Clipped Wings
I feel like my wings have been clipped. My twin brother tells a good friend of mine that he stumbled upon my blog. He tells my friend that he found many pics of me shirtless and found articles of me "dogging" dad. He sounded disgusted by the blog. My friend warned me of this immediately so I could quickly convert posts to "SAVE AS DRAFT" for anything potentially embarrassing to me.
While taking my mother to her monthly eye doctor appointment in New Orleans, she shocks me by declaring "I've heard about your blog." She says it with an air of disgust. Hold up. My parents have never used a computer or the internet, yet now my mother is throwing my blog in my face! I replied back to her "that is my PERSONAL website." MEMO TO FAMILY: I have never talked about my blog with you because it is my own private space on the internet. It was never meant for family to personally read. This feels like my whole family is now reading my journals. FREAKY!
The FREAKIEST part is that my brother can apparently talk to my friend and my family about this, but can't even bring himself to talk to me about this. How fucked up is that? Where's the respect for ME? What has he done? Has he printed out everything and gave every single post and picture to dear old Dad to secure his place as #2 favorite son? I wouldn't put it past him! He calls our dad "his buddy".
E.Shrew (Michael) was incensed that my brother didn't talk to me about this first. He encouraged me to call my brother immediately. He warned me to not passively aggressively blog about it BEFORE I talk to him. So, I called my brother up last night and he must have sensed WHY I was calling him (the twin connection). He rushed me off the phone before I could tell him what I was calling him about. He was at his kids football practice. He promised he would call me afterwards, but I never heard from him. Big surprise?
Now I have a dilemma. My brother begged me to go to Las Vegas with him next weekend. I didn't want to go because I was bored with Las Vegas. I only agreed to go because I knew he had never been to Las Vegas, and he wouldn't get the true Vegas experience if he went for the first time by himself. Me and E.Shrew spent PLENTY of money to go on this trip just for him! Well, shit... now we feel like canceling the trip because we both feel I have been backstabbed and betrayed. He has obviously been reading my blog for a while, and he feels comfortable discussing it with everyone else BUT me!
Now I am wondering if my brother is the reason that my friendship with Whipping Boy was severely damaged earlier this year. There was a mysterious comment on my blog that had our company name AND my father's name. It referenced a secret. Well, I blamed Whipping Boy for that and it has severely damaged our friendship ever since. What if this was my brother making the comment way back when? I even posted about it HERE.
As I am writing this, my intuition is creeping up on me. Perhaps my brother and certain other family members have known about the blog for some time. Maybe my brother purposively told my friend BEFORE the trip to Vegas, so I would get tipped off. Why would he do this? Hmm... let's see... maybe he wanted to make sure "WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS, STAYS IN VEGAS". Maybe he didn't want me blogging anything potentially embarrassing to him. Hmm... just a hunch... but my twin brother is strategic and cunning that way!
So, what should I do? A part of me wants to just shitcan the whole blog now. Another part of me says I should continue on with the blog and ignore any family nosiness. If my family sees something that embarrasses them, then they shouldn't be reading my damned blog!
posted by Brettcajun at Thursday, July 27, 2006
25 Comments:
Hi Brett!
Really hard call to make.
For Vegas, what will cost you guys more, the loss of money or the time spent with a rat?
You should post a pic of your bro, "Wanted, dead or alive" lol
As for the blog, I suggest you leave it for a few days. Think calmly about it. But in the end, it's up to you, not them.
I like your blog.
I don't know you nor your family. So I can't go running to them and says this and that.
But Brett, if you go, let us know.
Don't just leave.
J
PS. I come a check every day, even when you don't post, I check.
That's the problem with you southerners...always worried about what others are thinking of you. I say keep your blog. But as I've told you before, keep most of your personal stuff out of it. Or be more vague about stuff rather than being specific. This is your little piece of private property that you've welcomed people to. You should feel secure in that but always aware that others are out there.
Keep the blog... it is a good outlet for letting your thoughts flow and if your family happens upon it, great, they know a little more about someone they love (well I hope they love you) and they have to be aware that they may be a part of it from time to time... Just like life, there are going to be things they like and things they don't like...if anything, it may help bring up new discussions and bring you closer to your family... it all depends on how you handle it... be honest with them, even if they are not with you.
Oh Brett, Brett, Brett... I really didn't want to have to bring out my soap box this early in the morning, but... (moves soap box into place. climbs up, lights a cigarette)...
First, just tell your parents to go look at Scotty's blog - that will distract them. hehehe (just kidding Scotty).
Seriously - a big 'ol Negative on the whole "stop blogging" issue. This is your space, your life, your right, your freedom, your business, etc.
Second - If everyone was shot for embarrassing their family, mine would have an ARSENAL pointed at me. Family is supposed to embarrass family. That's why we are all here. They are lucky your ass isn't on TV - that would be worse. You are being yourself, expressing yourself, and sharing stories about yourself and those around you. There is nothing wrong with that.
Can you honestly tell me nobody else in your family has ever done anything to embarrass your family? I say *BS* to that. Technically, your twin is embarrassing the family right now by running around showing he can't keep his freakin' mouth shut and has to whine like a f'ing child because you "sad something about dad" or "have no shirt on when dancing". Do you think people honestly judge your family based on anything you may post on here - or is does it make more sense that many of us are actually relieved to hear that we aren't the only ones with odd familys?
Third - if your family is going to drag this little situation out, make sure you point them to the following posts YOU wrote yourself about your family:
12/8/05 - THE GREAT YELLOW ROSE MYSTERY. You refer to your father and how fun he is and what a good sport he can be. Horrible. Just Horrible.
12/19/05 - HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS. You talk about your family and how GREAT your father has been, despite you bitching about him or things every now & again. Your exact words at the end are "we may not see eye to eye at times, but he has been a great father. I am lucky to have him." Evil, just pure evil embarrassment.
12/21/05 - REDNECK POKER.
Tell your twin to read the last f'ing paragraph before it is deleted.
12/22/05 - OLD FAMILY PHOTOS.
Read the last paragraph. Maybe it would help if your brother stopped looking at just the pictures, and read some of what you say.
I could go on, but as you can see, that is JUST December 2005.
Live your life as you want Brett. Don't let your family dictate what is, and what isn't, acceptable. Nobody will ever agree. Personally, I don't see where you have embarrassed your family on your blog as much as I do see where you embarrass yourself. Which is fine, and shows what a great personality you have.
Ok, I could go on, but I am tired and it is getting hot up here. (steps down) My last word of advice, using the title of this post, is this: Unclip your wings and smack the shit out of your brother with them. twice.
Love ya. :)
Brett,
I say keep your blog, go to vegas, have fun, talk to your brother, show him you are the better person. :) In the end, this is your personal journal. Anyone that doesn't want to read it can hit the close button. :)
I say do, hash out the issue with him and then if nothing else....start a new blog, new name and let the bashing begin!
It's been a fear of mine. My family finding out. I don't ever want to be hindered from writing about what I want.
Obviously, your brother now knows how you feel. You've made that very plain. You might be surprised how long family have been reading and who is reading.
Do you want to be able to talk how you want and about what you want? Does it matter what your family thinks? Will you enjoy your blog the same as before you found out they were reading?
Many questions you need answers to. I've had many a blogger friend who have shut their site down only to start up a new one. Keeping names and places to a minimun.
Do what you feel is best.
Brett,
You have always been an open book. I would hate to see your blog go away, or even change names for that matter. This blog has become part of you and has enabled you to meet some great people and share some of your most intimate thoughts and feelings. There are so many people who are so closed minded or keep to themselves that they never allow themselves to share or feel joy, fear, love, hate, anguish, excitement, and compassion the way you do so frequesntly.
My opinion is this, if you are truely ok with what you type, and E Shrew (the love of your life) is comfortable with what you type, then there really is not much more to decide. You already have taken great strides to keep the names of your family members out of this blog, that is quite enough. It is no different talking about life on here than it is talking about life on a chatroom or by phone to everyone you know.
Now, as far as the Vegas thing and your brother...you have a good time when you go to Vegas and you love your brother very much. Talk to him about everything. Open up to him and tell him how this has pissed you off, caused a lack of trust where he is concerned, and work it out! Do not let something as trivial as this ruin this relationship...he is part of you and you of him.
You are a great guy...all of your readers know that! Know that whatever you decide to do, your loyal followers will be here waiting for you to return.
Don't you dare let anybody take your voice away from you. If they have an issue with it, they can get glad the same way they got mad. But if you let them take your voice away, you'll never forgice yourself for it.
joe hit it on the head... we southerners are always worried what others think... i say fuck it... if they've got a problem, don't read it... dbv
oh, go to vegas, just bring a camera and video recorder... we southerners also are big on payback... ha...
Oy...you just made me realize how easily my MOM could locate my blog...I mentioned to her yesterday on the phone that I was blogging and she wanted to know where.
At least you don't have nekkid pictures of yourself on yours!
Obviously, somebody in your family is a little uncomfortable with your blog. It shouldn't be your twin brother. You've shown nothing but love for him, and his kids, on your blog. OK, so maybe you don't respect his tennis ability. But that's not the issue.
Here's what I think you should do.
1) Talk to your twin about the blog. Get the details. Who's read what? Who's got any issues? You're an extremely open guy; I suppose he is too.
2) Go to Vegas with your twin. Have a good time. Show him around. Let things that happen in Vegas (with your brother) stay in Vegas. Remember that he's going to be your brother for a long, long time. His kids don't need to be reading about their dad on your blog.
3)Keep your blog. I know that you enjoy it. And we do too.
Up until this moment, I hadn't ever really thought about the reprecussions of having a blog, and posting ancedotes or daily happenings about them.
Then again, I wonder why I will get a phone call every once in a while from a distant family member and the first words of the conversation are "Wait, your gay?". LOL.
Keep your blog. Your space, its their choice to read it.
Brett, your blog is the light in my day. I smile, I laugh, I get horny, I like the eye-candy, I think of my life on the farm. Don't go away. If you have to, then do us a proper au revoir.
that would make me just start a new blog. that is some bull crap though. they all need to know it's your blog and your business. but yet again, it's mainly repetitive, all i can tell you is that i'm sorry that's happened, what a crock.
You're blog's an extension of yourself and its very public to anyone who can use google. Unless you block entry with a password, it's anything but private! Your blog can be found by anyone you know who has access to the internet.
If your blog's been exposed to people & family you think might have a problem with it, treat it like a second coming-out. Tell them it's out there and that its got an adult theme at times. They can choose to read it or not. Though really Brett, you don't come across as very pornographic. And certainly nothing that would shine a light of shame on you. You're having fun and being free and expressive. Keep the blog, tell the family you have it so they know what to expect if they come across it. I know you're flooded with insights and suggestions right now, but it's what makes sense. Don't compromise your expression. Don't censor yourself for the sake of people who don't seem to know you well enough to be OK with your personal, real voice in a public forum. There's much scarier stuff out on the internet!
"If my family sees something that embarrasses them, then they shouldn't be reading my damned blog! "
A Heartfelt Amen to you on that! Good luck with your decision
I say this w/love. If you don't want your parents or anyone else reading your thoughts, don't make them public. Expecting your family NOT to read your blog is like expecting Ann Coulter to turn democrat. Sure, it sounds nice but probably never happen. If you post it on the net, it's fair game. That is after all a big part of what makes blogging so appealing.
Most platforms, including Google, allow you to make posts private vs public. The bad part of that is its all or nothing. The great thing about wordpress (and others I think) is I can set posts to be seen by certain user levels only.
just a thought...
You didn't think I'd let this slide without a comment, did you? Especially since I've known the entire cast of characters in this soap opera for what, almost 15 years now?
First, the knock upside the head: If you post it on the internet, assume everyone in the world is going to see it or hear about it eventually. Calling it creepy that your family is reading or has heard about your blog is, well, silly. It's not a diary you keep locked under your bed with the lube and porn; it's posted out there for everyone to see.
Second, a piece of advice. At least ask the family if there are particular things they don't want discussed. It's true nobody can stop you from writing anything you want about anyone you choose, but put yourself in their shoes for a minute; I'm sure you can think of a lot of things your brothers or sister could write about that you'd rather not get publicized.
Third, if you do decide to post about something, make sure it's about you and not about them. "My brother did something the other day that really bothered me and it's becoming obvious he knew how much it would hurt, but did it anyway" preserves family privacy and conveys the important information--how YOU feel and what YOU are doing.
I've told you before that I think some of your posting is a little one-sided, and you've correctly pointed out that this blog is about YOU and what YOU choose to share with the world. What you have to realize is that your family has their own feelings about what they want to share with the world, and if being pissed off at you for sharing family dirt occasionally is one of the things they want the world to know... you have to give them the same rights you expect for yourself.
I say keep the blog if you enjoy it. Be less worried about what other people think about you, and be more worried about how they might feel about what you do and say.
Dilemma, dilemma.
Even though what was said and done is in the past (and the initial shock has passed), some people have to realize that this medium is a public forum.
Instead of telling one friend about something, you're telling a couple (hundred) more.
Whatever. It will pass. Forgive and forget.
Damn, what is with all the family members finding people's blogs. How the hell do they find them? I don't even know where they would begin.
Well, I'm glad you decided to stay. But make no doubt about it, if my family finds my blog, it's over. New name, new blog, new URL.
A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
Don't keep the blog for us (although I'd miss it a lot). Keep it if it is something that is important to you - something that helps you on this crazy journey we call life.
It's your blog. No one other than you has a veto on what appears here. No one.
Whatever you decide .. good luck!
Kevin
Hi Brett
I'm sorry to hear about the spot you've been put in with the family.
Before I started my blog I had fear that my family would come across it as well. I guess I'll learn from what happened to you and just keep my blog tame, and not go into all the stories I wanted too. Who knows, I may do it anyway.
Keep up the good work, buddy, you've got a great blog.
I have already given you my 2 cents... and I must say my advice was priceless - lol - good luck with whatever you decide...
I had a lot of the same feelings when I found out that some of my family had found my blog. But, I think you have the right idea by continuing and letting them deal with it on thier own.
I'm sure I wouldn't be the only one to be sad if you stopped blogging!
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