Living in a Cardio Queen World
As a weightlifter, I am ingesting more and more protein so I can get more muscular. But now I suddenly find myself at a precipice. I MUST do cardio lest my belly will grow to Buddha-like proportions. Admittedly... I LOATHE doing anything cardio related unless sex is involved or it is a sport where I am given points.
Since I have had a falling out with Whipping Boy, I haven't played any tennis in many moons. I miss have a whipping boy. Something about the rush of crushing an opponent and bringing him down to his knees gave me such an awesome air of superiority and personal satisfaction. I loved it. Yes, I am that bad.
I can't help it. MY MOTTO: LOSING IS FOR LOSERS! I hate to lose at anything. Losing ignites a fuel in my belly that riles me up and sets me on a path of rising to the challenge and eventually conquering said opponent. Homer, Moby and Tony were thankfully spared that ugly side of me in SF. I would have been booted back to the bayous of Louisiana in a heartbeat the minute I began to gloat and sing "We are the Champions" afterwards.
Either I find another whipping boy, make up with THE Whipping Boy, or I have to start doing boring old cardio. My ego is pulling for me to find a sport to get obsessed with again. I need to conquer something. I need that familiar adrenaline flow through my blood stream as I stare down my opponent. Opening up a can of whoopass on some poor bastard always served some need of mine.
Time to shit or get off the pot. I WILL do cardio this weekend dammit! Any whipping boys want to volunteer?
Since I have had a falling out with Whipping Boy, I haven't played any tennis in many moons. I miss have a whipping boy. Something about the rush of crushing an opponent and bringing him down to his knees gave me such an awesome air of superiority and personal satisfaction. I loved it. Yes, I am that bad.
I can't help it. MY MOTTO: LOSING IS FOR LOSERS! I hate to lose at anything. Losing ignites a fuel in my belly that riles me up and sets me on a path of rising to the challenge and eventually conquering said opponent. Homer, Moby and Tony were thankfully spared that ugly side of me in SF. I would have been booted back to the bayous of Louisiana in a heartbeat the minute I began to gloat and sing "We are the Champions" afterwards.
Either I find another whipping boy, make up with THE Whipping Boy, or I have to start doing boring old cardio. My ego is pulling for me to find a sport to get obsessed with again. I need to conquer something. I need that familiar adrenaline flow through my blood stream as I stare down my opponent. Opening up a can of whoopass on some poor bastard always served some need of mine.
Time to shit or get off the pot. I WILL do cardio this weekend dammit! Any whipping boys want to volunteer?
posted by Brettcajun at Friday, June 02, 2006
15 Comments:
I'm not really into that whole whipping thing, but I must admit that between your pictures and your enthusiasm, if I were closer I'd give it a try...!
PS You could sing "We Are The Champions" afterward all you wanted.
I'll be your sports partner, though I'd be no whipping boy! You'd be my 'whipping boy,' all mine!!! And I'd be crooning that tune, WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS (of the World).
Now if you eating 'protein,' you shouldn't be gaining weight in he gut! ;-)
LOL TOO FUNNY! At my gym here is IL they have a handball/raquetball court, and there are all kinds of "Whipping Boyz" around. Have you checked into that, it seems there are always guys looking for a little challenge in there.
"I've paid my dues.....time after time....I've done my sentence....but committed no crime....."
OMG - to be whipped my Brett... excuse me, I need to go change my shorts...
so how about you take up cycling? there's lots of long flat country roads near you and you could train for the next AIDS LifeCycle (585 miles SF to LA). I promise you'll loose weight!
now about whipping.....
Brett... it's not that you're bad when you lose. It's how obnoxious you can be when you WIN that's the problem :)
bring the mtn bike and come up here to kisatchie....
I hate cardio too..ughh..and as my belly sticks out...it makes me sadder that I have to do it for 30 minutes...get and iPod and queen out lip sync-ing like i do...the folks at Golds Gym keep throwing wigs and lipstick at me...
There are a variety of things you can do that falls under cardio. And you only need to cardio 30/45min sessions 2 or 3 times a week to keep yourself fit.
skating/blading
cycling/swimming
walking/running/jogging/treadmill
kickbocking/boxing
You get the picture. People often make the mistake of falling into a routine of one particular exercise. Anything that gets your heart rate up and keeps it up consistently throughout is good.
You are like me in that you get bored easily. I find the more I alter my routines and keep things fresh the more I stick to it. It just means you have to sit down and do a little planning.
Brett,
You don't need a whipping boy.
Get creative.
Sometimes sex can be a sport where you earn 'points.' (Use your imagination. You've done it before.)
And, after that, you can sing: "We will We will Rock You!"
Huggs,
Hmmm... you know, you probably need to learn how to lose gracefully. We all hate to lose, but if you want to survive with a load of friends, you gotta know when to back down babe :)
Hmmm... you know, you probably need to learn how to lose gracefully. We all hate to lose, but if you want to survive with a load of friends, you gotta know when to back down babe :)
Whatever you do start off slow and build. Before long you will find you can go for longer distances and keep your wind.
Although I don't mind a budda belly....
(raising hand for the whipping boy volunteer request)
Brett, Brett, Brett.. you say "you want to get back into a situation where you are starring down your opponent and the adrenaline is pumping through you - and you wish you could find that" but the funny thing is, you already have that - the opponent is you. You are constantly pushing yourself, downing yourself and slamming yourself. You need to relax and appreciate who you are, where you got yourself, and what you have become.
Maybe you should just focus on the whipping stuff... (grin)
Hmmm ... just what does the "WB" job entail :)
Good luck!
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