Friday, September 30, 2005

Chicken With It's Head Cut Off...

In case you fellow readers don't know it, I have been running around like a chicken with it's head cutoff. The headless chicken is aimlessly going in every direction possible and not getting to any destination. Sure... it's fun to send those special buds some scandalous pics of myself (hey I was a porn star on another site)... but is this really a productive use of my time? How many countless hours can I spend cruising and chatting with people I don't even know? Well, I am tired of feeling this way. I need a routine.

BRETT'S ROUTINE TO GET OUT OF FUNK:

1. Continuing my MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer) Training: You can never have too much education. This is so I can land my dream job someday. I am going to study every week and pass those exams before the year ends. As God is my witness, I shall never be poor again!

2. Working Out and Exercising 5 days a week: Hey, if you want to play with the buff boys, you have to look like them. I am sorry, but I can't buy into the "It's whats inside that counts." THEY BOTH COUNT. I have to be physically attracted to you AND love what's in your heart. My dream man is going to be a strong fucker... willing and able to kick ass at a moment's notice. That is what I want to be to. I dare some redneck to call me a FAGGOT. I'll have his ass BENT before he can utter any more words.

3. Playing Tennis: This is a sport that I truly love and I can truly participate in. I can outhustle anyone. I can hit well. The problem area is my serve. It is erradict. Sometimes I can score the PERFECT ACE. Unfortunately, that is only 1 out of every 20 times I serve. Most every other time I serve is WEAK. Sure I can hit that ball in the square (rarely doublefault), but I want that ball coming at you BLAZING and ON FIRE. I need a regular tennis buddy to play tennis with now. My Ex will probably be around only sparingly, as I am sure his new single life will keep his weekends all about FUN FUN FUN.

4. Focus on Finances: Now that I have a fulltime roommate that will be living with me, and I have cleared some debt hurdles, I can finally start saving money for a rainy day. I need to be SHREWED with money. I want to travel, but I also want to have enough money for a rainy day. What if I meet the man of my dreams far away, but don't have a nestegg to make the move? What if I want to unattach myself from my father's umbilical chord and make my own path in life somewhere? I can only do it if I plan and I am disciplined. Of all my routines, this will be the most challenging.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Kharma Kicked Me Down Good Today

Well, I suppose I should have NEVER posted a question posing whether "Am I a Cold Hearted Bitch?" Today I actually do feel like CRYING. My father (who is my Boss too) went off on me today. I unloaded on him. I so want to quit, but now the State of Louisiana has frozen all hiring for the next two months. Unemployment is very high here. What are my chances of landing a higher paying job? Hmfph! My Ex (who I am still sad that he is an Ex) is going off on fabulous vacation #6 this year. Here I am stuck in Baton Rouge. I have been eating Taco Bell and other fast food all week. I haven't done SHIT for working out and exercising. I have probably gained 7 pounds since the "divorce". Sean will not call me or write me back. (okay Sean has just called me back...thanks buddy!) Sean has been very busy at work and going through some personal stuff with a friend. Homer cheered me up a bit, but it is still pity party of one. I guess I am just having a down day. I ate alone tonight at a restaurant. I feel lonely. I could use a good bud to snuggle with right now. Well... I'll just have to settle for Boudreaux and Pierre. They love me unconditionally. Dogs are great companionship... especially in times like these!

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

For Scotty...

Scotty tagged me with a Meme.

Here is how it works:

1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find you 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five people to do the same.

From Weekend Boink Fest Post

The feel of his skin, the warmth of his body heat, that familiar muscular body, those washboard abs, and those kissable lips.

Damn!!! What a great 5th sentence to my 23rd post!!!! HA HA!!!! That was a THRILL!!!

Now who do I tag? Do I pick my favorite bloggers? Do I pick people I can't stand? (ha ha... just kidding) Hmmm...I am choosing to tag some bloggers that I don't get to read much from as often as I would like. I guess this is me giving them a blogpost to put under their belts! I tag: ATLSINGLEMAN, A Muscle Boy in Training, Sean, Penny Lives, and Pookie

Am I a Cold Hearted Bitch?

Last night, I had the most interesting conversation with a crybaby friend. I was pretty much told that I am a cold hearted bitch. They claimed that if I was actually the person I portray on the blog, then I would be the most wonderful person in the world. But I am not that person. No, this "friend" said I am really a cold hearted bitch!

Am I really a cold hearted bitch? I pondered the accusations leveled against me. Let's see... my reaction to most disturbing events that happen in my life is usually met with frustrating calmness. When my dog Boudreaux was kicked in the head by a horse and knocked unconscious this year, I didn't cry. I witnessed the tragic event. I quickly jumped over the fence and raced in the pasture to pick Boudreaux's lifeless body up from the cold grass. His head was flopping around like his neck was broken. I calmly picked him up and carried him to a safe place. I sat down with Boudreaux and held him close to my neck. My chief priority was to comfort my pet if he really was only seconds away from leaving this world. I was hoping that he was only unconscious and was going to be okay. I held him against my warm neck and told Boudreaux how much I loved him. I asked him to please not go. I told him I wasn't ready to lose him. I noticed his heart beating where my hand protectively held him. As we rushed him to the animal emergency hospital, he began to move his feet about five minutes into the trip. It was a good sign that his neck wasn't broken. WHEW! Thankfully, Boudreaux made a full recovery and had no serious damage but a bad headache. I had met something so tragic (the possible death of my first dog) with a calmness that unnerved my crybaby friend who was there for the whole event.

When my house flooded four years ago under 3 1/2 feet of river silt and I lost everything, I didn't cry then either. The immediate task at hand was to quickly replace what I had lost and start cleaning up so I could have a habitable place to live as soon as possible. There were no tears shed as I repainted every room in the house or paid a pretty penny to replace the wallpaper that was coming up. Sure, there were cabinets that were warped beyond use. Sure, the house smelled moldy for many months after even though I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. But I toughed it out like the trooper I am and didn't spend any energy on crying for what had happened to me. What would have crying done? Not a God damned thing. The only thing that was going to make my life back to normal was to WORK to get it back together.

Does this make me a cold hearted bitch? I would say "NO". In fact, I would think I would be a perfect person to have around when there was a major catastrophe. Nuclear War? Massive Surprise Attack by China? Nooooo.... problem. I would be the calm one that would get people focused on the task at hand. If aliens invaded the Earth, for example, I would be the one trying to figure out how to defeat them. Crybaby My friend would be the one running around hysterically losing his shit. Thus the aliens would surely find him and phase his crying ass with a laser gun. He'll be ashes in 2.9 seconds!!! Remember the Mad Tv spoof of "Boy Meets Boy"? The gay guy's friend was Andra. She ran around crying the whole show. Is this what we need in times of stress??? Hell no!

I, for one, justify my calmness in times of distress. I developed a self defense mechanism where I handle horrible situations with extreme calmness. I wouldn't spend any energy crying tears of anguish. My first task at hand was to quickly remedy the situation. That is how I choose to deal with life's difficulties. Does this make me a bad person that I don't bawl if my Merlot is too dry? No. It just says that everyone handles stress differently. I don't dwell on it. I just focus on things I can do to make things better.

And for the record... I DO cry.

LSU vs. Tennessee Game

Riding up the stadium escalators, a view of part of the LSU campus



Historic Tiger Stadium hours before kickoff.

Well, it took me a while to blog about it. To see your favorite sports team lose a football game in overtime when they were winning by 17 points at the start of the 4th Quarter is a MAJOR DOWNER. Aren't the Saints supposed to lose games in the most heartbreaking of fashions? NOT OUR BELOVED LSU TIGERS!!!! I congratulated Tony on his blog for the great Tennessee come from behind victory. GRRRRR.... maybe we'll meet again in the SEC Championship game??? (crossing fingers)

I was a little disappointed in the weather. It was sooo damned hot. That supressed tailgating and the fact that the game was an early Monday evening game. Most people drove to the stadium after work. Even though the attendance was listed as the 8th largest in Tiger Stadium history, there were a lot of empty seats in the newly constructed (and still under construction) West Upper Deck. There were so many people affected by the two Hurricanes, Tiger Stadium wasn't as packed and as rocking as I had hoped for.

Oh well... we'll lick our wounds and hope to rebound against Mississippi State and undefeated Vanderbilt the following week. Ahhh... the joy and tears of college football.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

LSU vs Tennessee Pics

Mike the Tiger. LSU's Mascot's lives near Tiger Stadium.

Mike the Tiger's New Habitat
Mike's Habitat
Another pic of Mike's Habitat
LSU Marching Band decending the hill towards the stadium

TIGER STADIUM

Tiger Stadium (holds 93,000)
LSU Marching Band under the Oaks
Right before Kickoff at Tiger Stadium


LSU football team coming out!

LSU lined up against the Vols.


Monday, September 26, 2005

Showdown on the Bayou: GEAUX TIGERS!!!!

It's GAMEDAY!!!

#3 LSU vs. #10 Tennessee
6:30pm Central
ESPN2


I will be snapping pics of all the festivities this afternoon. I am going to the football game with my Ex, Michael. We will get drunk, listen to the bands, and root for the LSU Tigers!!! By the way, "GEAUX" is Cajun for "GO!" So, we say GEAUX TIGERS!!!! BEAT FAT PHIL and the VOLS! (Fat Phil is the Tennessee Volunteers Coach.) Sorry, Tony. You know how we SEC Fans are... RUTHLESS and RABID. I am not saying anything that any Gator or Bulldog fan hasn't said on occasion.
You have the SEC East powerhouses: Florida, Georgia and Tennessee. In the SEC West, the powerhouses are: LSU, Auburn and Alabama. Every once in a while an SEC team will rise out of the ashes and make a splash like Vanderbilt has this year. The usual SUCKY teams in the SEC are: Kentucky, Mississippi State, Ole Miss, and South Carolina. I am giving Arkansas a break because they have had a tough schedule. For the powerhouses, it is a dogfight for the SEC Championship. Lose more than one SEC game, and you are OUT of contention for the SEC Championship Game in Atlanta. That is why the Vol fans are so nervous. One more, and they are OUT.
We are all rooting insanely for our Eastern or Western Division Rivals to go down in flames every single game. The ONLY time we really root for our fellow SEC teams is for the Bowl games. It is during the Bowl games that we want to show the world that the SEC is the BEST conference in football. I think Florida, LSU and Jawja (Georgia) have excellent chances of facing USuCk (USC) for the National Champtionship Game. Oh, wouldn't USC vs. LSU be a GREAT GAME! There are still many LSU fans that still walk around with FUSC (figure it out) T-Shirts to signify their displeasure with the split National Championship a couple years ago. LSU were the REAL champions when we beat the Oklahomo Sooners!
Yes, you bunch of Mary's... I am a butch gay man that happens to love the sport of football. It's a shame that only lesbians can talk sports with me. Most of my local gay buds are like "I don't like sportssssss...." Grrrr....

Sunday, September 25, 2005

I survived Hurricane Rita!

Well, I survived Hurricane Rita. There were lots of wind and plenty of rain. Since we were on the "bad side" of the storm, there are many places in my area flooded from rain water. Even though the power blinked on and off all day yesterday, I never lost power for more than a minute. Whew! That allowed me to do housework and use my creativity to email some very special buds.

Today, I picked up tree limbs scattered all over the front lawn. I swear, I am going to have "The World's Finest Ass" after all the bending over I did. I am sure I'll be hurting in the glutes by tonight. Oh well... cheers to having a better butt!

I went out last night in Baton Rouge with my Ex. It was kind of weird. We were approached by others asking if we were "lovers". Ouch! What a tough question to answer! We came up with the idea of telling everyone we are "fuckbuddies". Saying we have "recently brokeup" just confuses people and unleashes unnecessary "Aww... I am sorry to hear that...". So, we are just going to say "we are fuckbuddies."

Today, I am going to watch the New Orleans Saints play the Minnesota Vikings. I am hoping the Saints win so they can raise their 1-1 record to a winning one. Tomorrow, I am buying the "4 pack" of Saints tickets at LSU's Tiger Stadium. You can sit in the East Upper Deck (where I sit for all the LSU games) for only $10/ game if you buy a package. WHAT A DEAL!!!! WOW! This is a historic moment for the Saints to be playing at Tiger Stadium. Who knows? They could move to some city like L.A. , which will never appreciate them like we do. So, I had better get to these games this year, if the Saints days are truly numbered.

I am also going to the gym to work my biceps, which I have woefully neglected. I only work my biceps in conjunction with other exercises. I have totally slacked off isolating those muscles and working them exclusively. So... now it's time to get my biceps back in line with the rest of my body. I am also going to get back to doing Spinning class three times a week. I am too much of a hog in my eating habits. I have to do SOMETHING to counteract my piggish ways.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Another Day, Another Hurricane



This may be my last post until my power is knocked out and I am silenced. In times like these, it would be a good time to get away. We are supposed to experience some effects from this hurricane where I live. I think instead of the 75 MPH winds I experienced with Hurricane Katrina, I'll get 45 MPH winds with gusts up to 65 MPH with Hurricane Rita. Crossing my fingers that my electricity does not go out for 8 days like the last time. My hometown is under a tornado warning as I type this.

Lord, please don't send us anymore Hurricanes. You got Louisiana on the east coast a couple weeks ago, now you are getting us on the west coast. Baton Rouge is jam packed with New Orleans Evacuees AND Houstonions. Very few gas stations have fuel to sell anymore and there are long lines for those that still have some. Once again, it's the end of the world down here. This is really making everyone's life miserable!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Sean... you're the GREATEST!

There are tears of joy in my eyes tonight. My buddy Sean has posted the sweetest thing I have ever seen. Since falling in the ranks to "singledom", I have been losing sleep and feeling way down. Sean has been away for way too long, but has more than made up for it in what is sure to be his most CLASSIC POST. Sean, you are the greatest. What you just did for me, you'll never know. Thank you so very much. I am so proud and honored to call you my friend. You are simply the GREATEST!

Dodgeball Season



Here comes the giant dodgeball that is Category 4 Hurricane Rita. Will you Texans kindly move to the right? Soon my home will be filled with Houston, TX evacuees. Welcome Texans! We from Louisiana will kindly welcome our dear neighbors who have been such a tremendous help to us.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Baby Chick

I feel as though I am a baby chick who just broke out of his eggshell, looking out in this brave new world and wondering "Now What?". I have a myriad of options here. With my extreme desire to change the direction of my career, the possibilities are endless. Where does this little chick wind up? I can tell you one thing... this little chick is not going to start pecking at dirt looking for a "worm". I don't need a worm right now. I am 35 years old. This is a defining moment in my life. Where do I go from here? This feels like it is the most monumental time of my life. My destiny is in my hands. I didn't leave the house yesterday. Today I am at work. Now what? Hmmm... soon this little baby chick needs to start walking in some direction. Where that walk leads to is anyone's guess. PEEP. PEEP. PEEP.

>- >- >- >- >- >- >- >- >- >-
>- >- >- >- >- >- >- >- >- >-

Sunday, September 18, 2005

SINGLE

It's official. I am now SINGLE. Michael and I departed on amicable terms. This has been brewing for some time. When I blogged about The Winds of Change (August 26th), it was about my career change AND my relationship. Initially, I denied that it was about my relationship too. Then I posted the lyrics to 50 Ways to Leave your Lover. Then again, I was hinting. I suppose my Hottie Pics post was the final indication that I was moving out of a relationship into singlehood.

How do I feel? I am partly relieved and partly sad for the loss. Michael is a good person, and we could not have ended things on a better note. There was no screaming, fighting, or boiling a bunny in a pot moment. We both came to the conclusion that our relationship has not been working out for some time. He promised me that we would still be friends. I am going to hold him to that promise, because I know we can be excellent friends for each other. I still want to whip his butt in tennis and outjock him in the gym. I want him to come over and spend time with the horses and my dogs Boudreaux and Pierre, all of which he loves so much. I have never been one of those individuals that just completely cuts off all future communication with an Ex. That's just plain wrong.

Whenever someone captures a piece of my heart, I carry it forward and it is always there inside me. I know Michael and I will be good buds after all is said and done. The most important thing for me right now is to remain emotionally healthy. If I can just keep my mind focused on my career and working out, I should be fine. I just have to guard against panicking that I am single. See, I know I am going to feel that certain panic creep up soon. I start feeling like an ugly duckling that no one wants. Then I'll feel a loss of pride... like I lost some status because I am now single. I'll have to stay strong and count on my friends (personal and blogger buddies) to help me manage.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Horse Hung Hanging With Colts...




Monday, September 12, 2005

Putting the Pieces Back Together...

Our roads are heavily clogged, unemployment and public assistance lines stretch everywhere by the thousands, our supermarkets are running out of meat, so many vehicles out of gas on the sides of roads, our banks and post offices are so packed you'd think the end of the world was coming, every single house that was for sale is now sold for $25,000 above the asking price, all hotel rooms are booked indefinitely, and there are no apartments left anywhere to rent. This is what life is like down here in Baton Rouge. And yet we are slowing assimilating and life will eventually return back to normal in New Orleans.

On the gay scene, those New Orleans boys are packed into the Baton Rouge bars. We have never had as much lively bar action as we do now. Exciting times are now going on in Baton Rouge... now the Gulf Coast's largest city! The funny thing is that they are not used to Baton Rouge's more conservative laws. Bars never close in New Orleans. You can go from bar to bar with a plastic cup and your favorite bubbly with complete freedom from the religious police. The bars up in Baton Rouge are governed by the religious police. Here, all bars have to close at 2:00am. You CANNOT buy a drink in a store or a bar (they close) in Baton Rouge on a Sunday. Sorry boys... welcome to Louisiana's conservative State Capital. It is surreal to see all these New Orleans bad boys hanging out in "boring" Baton Rouge gay bars. We are greeting each other with huge smiles as we realize more and more of our friends have survived Hurricane Katrina. I think this is definitely bringing together our gay community. We are dropping the rivalries, cooling the putting on airs, and we are actually looking out for one another. Props to the local gay communities for showing such resilience after the havoc Katrina wrought!

Speaking of resilience, our sports players have lost homes too and their home stadiums for the time being. LSU football is back after canceling their first home game. The second home game was moved to Tempe, AZ to play the Arizona State Sun Devils because evacuees were getting medical treatment nearby on campus. LSU miraculously came back against ASU and won the game 34-31 after a brilliant 28 point fourth quarter barrage. And the Saints even booted a field goal with three seconds left to beat the Carolina Panthers! (Ha ha Chris!) GEAUX TIGERS!!!! GEAUX SAINTS!!!

I was excited to hear today that the Saints will Play Four Home Games in Baton Rouge at Tiger Stadium. Yes, this includes the VERY INTERESTING matchup of LSU's ex-coach Nick Saban, who left a $2 million salary behind to go to $5 million salary at the Miami Dolphins. He has to play this game IN Tiger Stadium that will surely be filled with 93,000 Saints fans. Hmmm.... it is a once in a lifetime event! A former college coach leaving for an NFL team, then having to coach in the very next year in the exact same college stadium against the hometown NFL team. PRICELESS!!!

I sincerely hope that the Saints owner Tom Benson uses this opportunity to reach out to the fans of the New Orleans Saints. He has lost many fans from threatening to move the team to a place that could never love the team the way we did... L.A.! Those California people are fair weather fans. They couldn't sellout a stadium even if you were SuperBowl contenders. Instead of trying to extort more money from our State coffers to keep the team here, this is your one chance to repair your organization's battered image in the state. You can prove your loyalty and announce that the Saints are here to stay. You owe it to the people of Louisiana. This is your one chance at redemption. We'll work on getting a better stadium for the Saints. You do your part FIRST, and we'll take care of you in the end. We promise. No one will love you in L.A. For us, we'll always keep the faith and fill the stands through the good times and the bad times.

As long as there is LSU and Saints football, life is settling back to normal down here in the bayous of S. Louisiana. Our football teams are winning and it has certainly brightened our battered spirits. Thank God for LSU Tigers and the New Orleans Saints!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

50 Ways to Leave to Your Lover

The problem is all inside your head
She said to me
The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover

She said it’s really not my habit
To intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

CHORUS:

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so
To see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do
To make you smile again
I said I appreciate that
And would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don’t we both
Just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning
You’ll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me
And I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

CHORUS

Words & music by Paul Simon

I heard this song on the DIVA on a dance remix record. It was pretty cool!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Summary of Las Vegas Vacation

Lesson learned from Vegas: Don't EVER bet on Maryland.

I had so much fun picking 3, 4 and 5 team college football winners (PARLAYS). At Harrahs, if you successfully pick three college team winners (beating the spread) you get paid 6.5 to 1. If you pick 4 winners, you get paid 12.5 to one. A 5 team parlay winning ticket pays 25 to 1. It was a nice feeling to plot strategy and pick who you think was going to win. Then as the day unfolded, all I had to do was walk around and watch how my teams were doing. It gave me the same sensation of buying a Powerball ticket. I knew I probably wouldn't win, but it gave me a nice feeling that I COULD. I knew if I played blackjack, craps or Let It Ride, I would just slowly lose anyway. So, I wanted a chance to win big money. I WAS SO CLOSE!!! On one ticket, I could have won $550 BUT Michigan let N. Illinois make a field goal very late in the game thus ruining the whole damned ticket. Michigan ended up winning by less than the 19 points I needed them to win by. DAMN WOLVERINES!!! GRRRR.... Then, on another parlay ticket, Washington got beat by Air Force with 34 seconds left in the game. Air Force was behind in the entire game! That cost me a $550 win too! The final nail came when Maryland couldn't beat Navy by more than 12 points. The Maryland Terps are like the New Orleans Saints of college football. Every once in a while they surprise you. But so many times, they end up underwhelming you when it really counts. So, since Maryland was a KEY game for me, I lost out at the chance of winning $2,350. So, that was my gambling for the 4 days. I bet on college football. All my picks were winning until the very end. What a heartbreaker! BUT... I do not have any regrets. It gave me a nice exhiliration that I had a CHANCE to win alot.

Krave the gay night club next to the Alladin is AWESOME. The boys were ALL SO PRETTY. Sure, it is a $20 cover charge, but you would spend the same kind of money getting a cab out to the other local gay bars. Word of advice: don't go to Spotlight or Buffalos. The people are very homely looking. If you are searching for muscle boys AND fine... go to Krave. That's where the cool people are.

See Le Reve at The Wynn. That show was awesome. If you like your boys beefy, this is your show! There was male nudity (butts) and some homo-eroticism. All of these men had the finest asses, calves, legs, and back muscles. They were constantly spreading their legs, showing their athleticism, swimming superbly and doing acrobats. The show was awesome. It was a water show with the stage in the center of the audience. The stage is surrounded by water. Sometimes the stage recedes completely under water, sometimes it comes out and fountains shoot wonderful water patterns. Almost everyone falls from the sky onto the stage. (like falling angels) YOU CANNOT BE AFRAID OF HEIGHTS IF YOU WORKED ON THIS SHOW. I had the hardest time understanding what the "theme" of the show was. Then I finally got it. It was a crazy show. Then the main character departed in a bed. Le Reve means "the dream". And oh what a dream it was! ;)

Meet your fellow blogger buddies. I met Scott (purpletwinkie) and Don (McDoughall's Doodles). Both of them were really sweet, charismatic, charming and very friendly. It was so easy to talk to these guys. It was such a powerful feeling to come face to face with a fellow blogger. I now feel that I am totally connected to these two guys. I know the men beyond the blogs now! How cool was that!!!

The Secret of the Purple "Twinkie"

Me and Purpletwinkie
I now officially know WHY Scott calls his site "purpletwinkie". Hmmm.... are you curious about WHY? You'll have to ask him. I really enjoyed meeting Scott. Because of issues he is going through right now, we only got to meet for about an hour. We had beers in front of Harrahs Sports Board. I was watching the college football teams because I had a few parlays out there. I am looking at this picture. It is SO OBVIOUS that both Scott and I are POSERS. We are natural SMILERS. What is so hard for some people is easy for us. Look at us! It looks like we are smiling in a beauty pageant!

Monday, September 05, 2005

Driving back to Baton Rouge

We flew back last night from Las Vegas to Houston. They are SO MANY Louisiana people in Houston, Tx! We will be making our trek back to Baton Rouge today. I look forward to seeing my dogs Boudreaux and Pierre after 6 1/2 days. I miss them terribly. I found out that my power has returned to my house a couple days ago. I have no food in my refridgerator or my freezer (lost from 7 days without electricity), but I will replenish them today. Most phone service in S. Louisiana is still very poor. I am one of the lucky ones in that my life is getting back into some order. I am ready to do my part for the Hurricane Katrina victims.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

What happens in Vegas...stays in Vegas...

It is Saturday morning and I am having a great time in Las Vegas. Michael has been taking care of his personal business for a few hours each day since we have been here. While he was doing that, I was at the fabulous Mandalay Bay Spa. He asked me if I showed my dick to anyone. Of course, I said "Noooooo!". What happens in Vegas... stays in Vegas. ;) Most of the patrons of these casino spas are GAY MEN. It can be kinda like being in a bathhouse at times. I was heavily cruised both times I went. Who wouldn't? Here was a stud walking into the steam room, with sweat rolling down his cut muscles, his hairy chest and goatee exciting the natives, and his blue eyes melting every heart that happened to catch of glimpse of them. They were putty in my bad boy hands. ;)

How's my gambling going? I really haven't played a lot. Those one arm bandits can bleed you dry in a heartbeat. On the very first day of the my vacation, I lost 2/3rd's of my gambling budget. (Insert Homer Simpson Duh!) Those damn nickel slots can sure eat some dough! I should have NEVER played "My Little Piggie". WHY did I choose this machine? I guess I was fantasizing about Sean. You know you want you some SLAB. ;)

Other than parting with dear Benjamins, the city has been great. We saw Joan Rivers at the Stardust. That woman pretty much insulted EVERYONE in her act. The only two things she had something nice to say about was her daughter Melissa and the victims of Hurricane Katrina. I was surprised how SHORT she was. She must be 4'11"!!! I swear. She is a SHORT THING! And her face looked like one of those ventriloquist dolls. Don't get me wrong... she looks a lot better POST SURGERY... but you couldn't help but think she looked like a porcelin puppet. Seeing her live for the first time in my life was surreal.

The best surprise we got was a message from Celine Dion on our Harrah's telephone line. She was inviting everyone that came from the areas damaged by Hurricane Katrina to her show FOR FREE! All we had to do was show up at Caesar's and present our I.D. We got VERY GOOD SEATS! Michael absolutely loved the show. This was my third time seeing Celine and I was blown away yet again. Since Celine's show was the more expensive show, we gave our Avenue Q (Wynn Casino) tickets to Don. (McDoughall's Doodles) Yes, I got to meet him for the first time right before the Celine show. He was very handsome. I was glad he is a short fucker like me too. !!! We later went to Buffalo's (a gay cowboy bar in LV) and met up with him last night.

What's on tap today? Well, I finally have access to my bank accounts. For the last few days, I could not check my balances and one of my ATM cards was NOT working. I was PLEASANTLY surprised I had more money in each account than I thought. Woohoo! Now I have a strategy to recoup my LOSSES. I am going to bet on college football teams for the first time in my life. I am betting a parlay (pays 6:1) on Maryland beating Navy, Wisconsin beating Bowling Green and Washington beating Air Force. Since I have more money than I thought, I may bet a few more combinations of those teams to "lower my risk". You can bet on 6 games and win 40:1. Hell, I am going to bet $10 on a few combinations. If I win, I'll get $400!!! Wish me luck!!!

That's all folks. I plan to hookup with Don again today. Also, we are going to have lunch with Scott (Purpletwinkie). I look forward to meeting my second blogger! Tonight, we are seeing Le Reve at the Wynn. It should be a lot of fun!!!!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Viva Las Vegas!

We made it to SIN CITY from Houston after a brief stop in San Antonio, I heard someone screaming my name “BRETT!“ “BRETT!“ “BRETT!“ I turned my head but I did not immediately recognize the woman. I did recognize her accent however. It was Gwen! Her husband works for our company. I had always dealt with her when she needed her husband’s paycheck. She is in Las Vegas for a wedding at the Flamingo Hotel and Casino. She invited us to attend tomorrow afternoon! My immediate thought was “Ummm….. No”. Surprisingly, I told Michael about it and he was all for it! He has apparently crashed parties FOR YEARS! So… we are going to a wedding tomorrow!

What’s on the agenda today:

1. Visit the fabulous Mandalay Bay Spa for some R & R while Michael is at our hotel room (Harrah’s) taking care of some personal business. Hmmm…crossing fingers there are some HOT guys in the steam room. ;) Yes, there are stories… but perhaps some other time when you are all old enough to hear it! ;)

2. Call my friend Tommy (former Baton Rouge resident) who used to be a dealer at Casino Rouge. He now works for the Wynn Las Vegas as a dealer. Call Scott (Purpletwinkie) and figure out when and where we can meet him. Don (McDoughall’s Doodles) doesn’t come in until late Friday, so I will probably meet him Friday night or Saturday.

3. Joan Rivers at the Stardust Hotel and Casino. Hopefully she doesn’t crack any insensitive jokes about the Hurricane Katrina damage. We Louisiana boys may be a WEE bit sensitive. We are going to see Joan Rivers because our friends saw her on an Atlantis Cruise ship last year and RAVED about her.

4. Catch a cab ride to The Palms. As much as I have visited Las Vegas, I have always put off seeing the Palms. Now, I am forcing myself to FINALLY go. We spent $50 on VIP front of the line tickets to their fabulous nightclub RAIN. It is supposed to have fireballs overhead, rain on you, and have exotic dancers in cages all around. SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!!!!

5. Gamble? I seriously doubt I’ll have any time to do anything more than putting in a $20 bill in a machine as we are passing through these establishments. I know one thing…my typical FIRST DAY IN VEGAS always involves very little time with the ONE ARM BANDITS. I like to prolong the eventual DEPRESSION and MAD-AT-MYSELF trauma that is inevitably coming.