Confessions on a Tennis Court

Ahem... I conveniently forgot to mention my DEVASTATING tennis tournament loss last Saturday. How could I conveniently forget to mention it? Ummm.... well... I could blame it on my personal drama of being single... I could blame it on being too busy at work... or I could chalk it up as an "oversight".

Yes, as the #1 ranked tennis player in Brett's World, I ... L - L - LO... LOO... LOOOOST! I LOST. THERE! I SAID IT! My Ex (E.Shrew) and I played a tournament with Tom on Saturday. The tournament is a winner stay up game where the first one to win 10 games is declared the victor. Tom plain ass SUCKED on this day. I had just beaten him the night before (6-1, 6-3). E. Shrew has SUCKED ASS for the last two months as I beat him at a humiliating ratio of 2 out of every 3 games we played. But on this day, the clouds aligned right for the little EVIL SHREW... and he must have summoned all his evil powers to defeat me. E. Shrew won the tournament with 10 victories. I won 5 games. Tom (pitiful Tom) won only 1 game. I hung my head down in shame. I, the greatest tennis player in my known universe, had been upset by E.Shrew. Where's the gun?

I am trying to improve my tennis game BEFORE the HOUSTON TOURNAMENT on November 12th-14th. I am actively looking for new tennis opponents to give me a broader experience against others. In the not too distant future, I will go to Houston to get (yet again!) some more pointers from my excellent tennis coach Tim in Houston. To put up with a stubborn and competitive me, Tim is the nicest friend I could ever have. On November 5th, I have a match against a buddy in San Diego on Coronado Island while I am there on business. My goal is to advance at least one round in the Houston Tournament. The prospect of taking out E.Shrew in the same tournament... PRICELESS!

So, this afternoon I face a new challenger. I have never played this person before. What do I know about him? He is a gay man about my height. He has played in tennis clubs in New Orleans before. Perfect opponent to test my skills. The only problem is that he is a Republican!OOOOHHHH.... I am going to surely be fired up to face this MOFO!!!! This donkey dick is going to kick that Elephant's BUTT!!!

Details and new rankings will be announced tomorrow!

Current Rankings:

1. Brett
2. E.Shrew
3. Bart
4. Republican
99. Tom